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Post by sportsgirl1006 on Dec 2, 2012 4:40:34 GMT -5
Hey everyone, i'm new here. I used to date a quadriplegic. I started to get over him but then I started working for other quadriplegics. It brings back memories of dating my ex and it makes me sad. I want to dedicate my career to spinal cord injuries cause they simple fasinate me but its so hard. Any suggestions/advice?
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Post by nordic on Dec 2, 2012 10:10:26 GMT -5
Welcome! In personal opinion it might be a good idea to first get rid of the feelings for your ex. Otherwise rushing into something that you do solely because you are missing him will probably create an even bigger mess for you and others. If then you still feel it is what you want to pursue, go ahead. I think there are plenty of ways to work in ways that support people with disabilities in one way or another - but they are usually connected to some kind of skill or interest you already have. For example, study architecture and build accessible buildings. I would be so grateful if more people did. Seriously, I would try to first look at what kind of job you would like to do and then try to see how it connects to the goal of dedicating your career to SCI.
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Post by sportsgirl1006 on Dec 2, 2012 15:13:49 GMT -5
You can't just get rid of feelings for somebody. I am done wanting to date him and all that stuff but its just I get reminded when I take care of someone. Ive always wanted to be a physiotherapist, not just after I dated him.
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Post by jordan on Dec 3, 2012 17:25:49 GMT -5
First off, hi there and welcome! Second of all, I would suggest you start talking to professionals in the field that you want to pursue. Contact a physical therapist or the physical therapy department at your local hospital or a rehab hospital in your region. Find out more about exactly what the career path entails and what you should focus on with schooling. If you already have some educational background in the field that will certainly help you but if not to me that's the next logical step. Once you are pursuing schooling in that line of work start networking with your professors and other students and see if you can do your clinical work with facilities or practices that work with SCI patients. Finally, you're right, you can't get rid of the feelings you have for your ex, but you can learn to deal with them and eventually they won't be so strong for you. Pursue an interest that doesn't put you around many people that remind you of him so that your mind has a chance to be elsewhere from time to time. I wish you luck
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Dec 3, 2012 22:36:34 GMT -5
If your feelings are really giving u that much trouble in pursuing a career then perhaps u should try counselling to help find ways to deal with your feelings. Also maybe u could be a PSW for awhile, that way u'd be working for once person at a time rather then be around a bunch of people at once. A another reason why it could work is because alot of people who require PSW's happen to be of an older generation, thus u may not be reminded of your ex as much. I don't how great of an idea that is tho, since you would of course, have to go to school for that, And if that's not what ur aiming for then it maybe a waste of time. And finally, maybe if u were to form some friendships with other wheeler that would help alleviate some of the pain u feel for your ex, thus helping u to individualize your feelings from one wheeler to another.
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Dec 3, 2012 22:38:16 GMT -5
If your feelings are really giving u that much trouble in pursuing a career then perhaps u should try counselling to help find ways to deal with your feelings. Also maybe u could be a PSW for awhile, that way u'd be working for once person at a time rather then be around a bunch of people at once. A another reason why it could work is because alot of people who require PSW's happen to be of an older generation, thus u may not be reminded of your ex as much. I don't how great of an idea that is tho, since you would of course, have to go to school for that, And if that's not what ur aiming for then it maybe a waste of time. And finally, maybe if u were to form some friendships with other wheeler that would help alleviate some of the pain u feel for your ex, thus helping u to individualize your feelings from one wheeler to another. Oh and I hear dev talk can be quite beneficial as well
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Post by nocturnaldev on Dec 3, 2012 23:42:00 GMT -5
Here's my two cents, which coincidentally, is probably worth much less.... Being reminded of your ex is inevitable. No matter who you are, or what you do, there will be things that will occasionally remind you of them. It gets easier with time, trust me. There's no right way to handle it, because if there were, we'd all be better off. You'll just learn what works for you. If it's seems overwhelming right now, take some time off. It worked for me during my divorce. (The Ex was in public safety with me, so running into him was a common occurrence). Take the time to heal, and make sure you're pursuing a career that means more to you than your ex (meaning don't jump into something just to feel "close" to them). Eventually, you'll be able to get past the hurdles, and hopefully, the only memories you'll have will be good ones, that bring a smile to your face, before they lock themselves away again. Don't be afraid to vent to people you're comfortable talking to! Best of luck!
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Post by Emma on Dec 5, 2012 21:40:17 GMT -5
lmartin is that you?
Yeah I thought so.
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2012 0:20:52 GMT -5
As someone who just went through a break up(granted no 2 break ups are the same) here is my thought- There will be things that will dredge up feelings and sentiments that remind you of the ex. Thats inevitable. These will suck, for lack of a better term, for a while. The big hurdle is to not let these feelings ever stop you from doing something you love or that youre passionate about. In the end youll be ok. Youll find plenty of people on the boards to help talk this stuff out with
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Dec 6, 2012 3:55:22 GMT -5
lmartin is that you? Yeah I thought so. Ohh snap! well at least she's still among the living, so that's good lol
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Post by Dee Dee on Dec 6, 2012 5:00:34 GMT -5
lmartin is that you? Yeah I thought so. Oh no!! If that is her, I wish she would stop presenting her "problems" here and trying to get everyone´s attention
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Post by devogirl on Dec 6, 2012 10:47:02 GMT -5
Yes, this person is not for real. She has already been banned multiple times for creating deceptive accounts. She also likes to look up the email addresses of members and write to them, so be sure to set your email to "hidden" if you don't want to be bothered by this nonsense.
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Post by roger888 on Dec 6, 2012 12:01:40 GMT -5
lmartin is that you? Yeah I thought so. Thinking something similar..
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Post by wonk on Dec 7, 2012 3:07:36 GMT -5
I STILL miss my ex!
but my aim is improving.
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Dec 7, 2012 4:12:44 GMT -5
I STILL miss my ex! but my aim is improving. Miss my ex, I still do! But improving, my aim is.
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