blush -devness triggered by impotence

[Ath]

blush
I guess its only an extension if being a dev and being turned on by disability, but lately I developed an interest
In impotence.
Like sex that isnt just penetration is much more interesting, and fantasising about a guy who would be OK with
being impotent, and not be all focused on wether or not he would get hard enough.
Just someone soft, and relaxed, and comfortable....
It would also be ehum... very hot to test toys and stuff to try to find ways to get hard.

Oh well I choose to be with this man, who isnt into it so I guess I should just enjoy my fantasies

[finally]

thanks for sharing!
it pisses me off when a man gets all stressed out by thinking about his erection.
still, I do enjoy it, or let´s say, would enjoy it if it lasted a bit longer.
wouldn´t have trouble having sex hours and hours without erection before that, though

[wompingwillow]

Oh my god this is such a huge kink of mine. You've hit the nail on the head, ath, with what's so attractive to me about it, but also, not going to lie, the fact that it IS such a source of shame for so many guys is part of what gets me going. Oh god I feel like such a terrible person for admitting that, but if I've learned anything from my time here, it's that you guys don't judge for being honest, and there's even a good chance my "confession" will resonate with some other devs.

I think I wrote about it in more detail in the "dark side" thread, but yeah, shame (when it's safely in my fantasies) and impotency, lost erections, premature ejaculation, etc. definitely turns me on.

Also, sigh, I did NOT want to get involved in the whole "wheelers who may or may not be reading the devs only section" debate but this is a bit hard to post without thinking about that. Hopefully no one thinks I'm a terrible person!!!

[Valkyrja]

That's why I upload "Farinelli" to Rapidshare because it triggered lot of dev things when I watched it.

[tambourine]

This is an interesting subject because I think attraction to things like impotence and ED are part of the dark area of devoteeism which make many women feel ashamed. Though I personally do not have this attraction, I'd imagine it feels awkward to be attracted to something that can cause so much emotional pain and embarrassment for the guy. I also think this is an aspect of devoteeism which makes some disabled guys feel like they're being pursued for their nonthreatening sexuality, which may cause feelings of humiliation or emasculation. Nothing else to add, it's just very interesting to think about!

[dolly]

i'm so glad you fought the fear and posted anyway. i'm quite sure there are probably a bunch of us who may relate, but i'm sure that we all understand and find it interesting. the dev-thing takes on a variety of forms for a lot of us, i think. and some may feel more "shameful" than others. but hey, it is what it is, and this is the place to talk about it! (you've probably made a bunch of lurkers take a huge sigh of relief that they aren't the "only ones", too.)

i'm not bothered by impotence but i wouldn't have considered that it would be an actual turn on for me. however i absolutely **love** the movie Valkyrja mentioned, "Farinelli" about a castrati singer. i never really made the dev connection on that one before, but it may be there...

it's fascinating to still be discovering and uncovering little nuances of my devness all these years later.

[Deleted]

To give the gay male perspective: I don't know that I find the impotence a turn on, but it's part of the (no pun intended) package of intimate relations with a disabled man. What turns me on is the whole nature of his body: for example everything below the waist and how it relates to everything above the waist.

Also, one of the hottest things, which I'm sure there are those here who will agree, is finding out how he compensates - I know I've never been disappointed.

[Valkyrja]

I watched the movie because of the actor who played a very hot para in other movie. And when I saw the movie, the sex scenes with him were terrible hot because, though he couldnt have an erection, he was an amazing lover... it was really hot and it remains me of him as a para. (yeah, I know, perhaps it has not much sense but it was not an "emasculating" thing at all)

[Enid]

From the physical point if view, i like it. It's a very powerful reminder of what's going on. And the "compensating techniques" can be fascinating (although I have nothing against a bit of medicine to solve the issue).

The psychological effects are harder to deal with, although that will depend on the guy, I guess.

[tambourine]

now that i think about it, has anyone seen the original Bonnie & Clyde movie? there's a controversial scene where Clyde's in the bedroom and tries to get it up but can't.

[finally]

Aug 5, 2013 17:48:56 GMT -5 wompingwillow said:

Hopefully no one thinks I'm a terrible person!!!

I think it is great you are so honest and candid about things.
I´ve noticed that this opens up other people as well!
I can relate to you writing that these things would be kind of nicer to discuss, write, talk about, if there weren´t dis guys reading it. Because we don´t want to harm anyone, right?
But, like others said, this is the place to be you and be honest and I appreciate you very much for that!!!

[mica]

In my opinion this issue should cover as in the momenton of the relationship, is the only thing men think, but in my case is what I like. Although I also feel bad for something that attracts me to a man can be frustrating or traumatic.

[Ath]

Im glad you said it ww so I didnt have to *blush*


Im not sure about the nonthreathening sexuality and would like to discuss it further.
Its true we want disabled men for different reasons, but the sexual attraction is so strong!
We really want to be with our men. So its not a nonthreathening sexuality in the way that "if I hook up
with a disabled man I wont have to have sex and he cant force me"
It might have to do with a need to be in charge, sometimes without knowing, but I dont think that is true for everyone.



One thought I cant get rid of right now is the one of men who were born with conditions that caused them to be impotent. I just never thought of that before,
What it could be like to never have had a hardon or orgasm. How do you identify as a man and how do you compare yourself to other men. How do you explain or tell your partners, etc etc. Again the actual fantasy us horribly stereotypic where the woman shows the guy he he is attractive and that you dont need a hardon to be intimate.

[Ximena]

Again, catching up on some old posts...

I'll say this can be something that rings bells for me... Not always, but it can. I know much later in the I/E storyline I have another character who has ED and it's interesting to explore from a dev perspective but also from a character's perspective. Related to this is difficulty or inability to ejaculate... Though having experienced this in real life, I know how frustrating it can be for the guy and it always makes me feel bad, wishing I could do more....

[alexa2010]

Ath thank you for bringing this up!
I can relate to that huge turn on to 100 %!
So at least we are tow... :-)