littlesparkle
New Member
I love a man on wheels...
Posts: 48
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by littlesparkle on Oct 16, 2014 8:17:58 GMT -5
I'm really surprised at how everyone feels about this from both sides. My ex made it very clear to me when we were dating that in no circumstances did he ever wanted me to feel obligated to help him with his care. At the time he had a carer come in every morning to help him get ready for the day and one at night to help him in bed.
I never once felt it was my duty or felt obligated to help. I wanted to only if he agreed too. Eventually when we moved in together I did all his care and the fact that he trusted me to do it really brought us closer in the relationship. It also had its advantages when it came to traveling but also for our own privacy. We could do whatever we wanted and whenever we wanted without having to worry about carers and what not.
Every relationship is different and I suppose you just need to figure out and agree on what works best for your situation. For me it definitely brought us a lot closer together and we never had a problem separating the carer/gf relationship. It was just part of our relationship and it made us both happy.
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Post by rebel6842 on Oct 16, 2014 20:29:39 GMT -5
I'm really surprised at how everyone feels about this from both sides. My ex made it very clear to me when we were dating that in no circumstances did he ever wanted me to feel obligated to help him with his care. At the time he had a carer come in every morning to help him get ready for the day and one at night to help him in bed. I never once felt it was my duty or felt obligated to help. I wanted to only if he agreed too. Eventually when we moved in together I did all his care and the fact that he trusted me to do it really brought us closer in the relationship. It also had its advantages when it came to traveling but also for our own privacy. We could do whatever we wanted and whenever we wanted without having to worry about carers and what not. Every relationship is different and I suppose you just need to figure out and agree on what works best for your situation. For me it definitely brought us a lot closer together and we never had a problem separating the carer/gf relationship. It was just part of our relationship and it made us both happy. Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!
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Post by zacc on Sept 8, 2019 16:32:06 GMT -5
I don't know about you guys but I always feel guilty asking for help for anything I need..like..I don't wanna be a burden on anyone. My problem is admitting when I need help and just ask people for it..and stop feeling ashamed or guilty about it. Do any of you guys ever feel like this? For me it is all about how comfortable I am with the person. Strangers are the hardest for me to ask. Getting past that feeling took me awhile but sometimes you have to ask and most people are happy to help. I'm very comfortable with my group of friends so asking them for help isn't a big deal at all. The thing that got me was when one of them said to me "buddy you know you can call anyone of us if you're in trouble, right?" Only time I've had push back was when one of my roommates/PAs quit because I forgot to say thank you for giving me a glass of water. Geez someone quit because you forgot to say thank you for a glass of water! That is so ridiculous! I hope that person hasn't been PA since.
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Post by zacc on Sept 8, 2019 16:42:27 GMT -5
Also, I know this thread is old but here are my thoughts.
I haven't been in a serious relationship but I totally agree with the folks who say they don't want their lover to be their caretaker. It just seems like it would be too much of a strain. I have a lot of caretakers during the day and our relationship already can get strained. If it turns on my SO to take care of me I would love to make time for that once in a while but I think it would make us hate each other if we did that all the time. Also I can barely stand being around some of my caregivers too long, lol.
I can't deny that I've fantasized about my caretakers before but I know if that fantasy became a reality it would likely just not be sustainable.
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Post by rebel6842 on Sept 11, 2019 15:51:02 GMT -5
Also, I know this thread is old but here are my thoughts. I haven't been in a serious relationship but I totally agree with the folks who say they don't want their lover to be their caretaker. It just seems like it would be too much of a strain. I have a lot of caretakers during the day and our relationship already can get strained. If it turns on my SO to take care of me I would love to make time for that once in a while but I think it would make us hate each other if we did that all the time. Also I can barely stand being around some of my caregivers too long, lol. I can't deny that I've fantasized about my caretakers before but I know if that fantasy became a reality it would likely just not be sustainable. Zombie threads are unavoidable sometimes-no worries
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expresso
Junior Member
NYC here -
Posts: 76
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by expresso on Oct 6, 2019 20:25:06 GMT -5
it would be very strange to have your other half do the work of a carer if you have one there for that purpose - i wouldnt ask my other half unless she was the only one there etc, its been a while so i never ran into this issue - i have given it some though as to how it would work if i found someone today -
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