Post by teratophilia on Jan 14, 2015 1:16:04 GMT -5
So I'm not sure how to start this but I guess I will just dive right in.
I come here mostly for discussions, I'm not looking for life long love or to meet up or to even really disclose too much identifying information about myself. I like being anonymous. I do find all the subjects brought up on this site deeply fascinating though and relatable.
As probably a lot of devs felt I always thought my sexuality and what for me was tied to sexual and romantic feelings to be just crazy different from how the world and society seemed to present what a 'normal' girl is into. Fueling this taboo aspect that can be a huge part as well. I thought for a long time I was very different and I was scared of this for a while. I thought I was a pervert of some kind or that there was something wrong with me. Or that it might indicate something dark or sadistic about me that I'm into people with disabilities.
Because deep down I DO want people to be happy and comfortable living. I don't want to see humans in pain or anything like that. It is that and NOT being a sadist which is a foundation for the 'kink'. Because the extreme cases of people with disabilities exist no matter what we want for people anyway. There is not ignoring it. I think the shock of seeing these things for the first time really changed me since a young age. Their is a helplessness aspect, this desire to save and to 'nurse'. The feelings are hugely tied with emotions of sympathy and empathy. For me love/romance/sex and sympathy are almost inseparable.
All of those feelings took me a while to embrace because apparently they are not what a girl is SUPPOSED to want in the society we live in. And yet rather than seeing it as a weakness I see it as so impressive and as truly strong to live as a handicapped person in this world. Over coming adversity and issues I can't even imagine is truly humbling.
It's so funny how things work in this world. When all the culture is based around all these silly superficial issues, everyone tied up in themselves and how they appear. When there are so many unsung heros who might not even get the love and appreciation they deserve in life because everyone is wrapped up in shallow pursuits.
So ironic how the world can be. Yet their is always beauty and love to be shared. My main goal in life is to just share a little of it and I will be happy. It's so weird how people identify beauty and chase and chase that, never achieving it and never being happy. They are sacrificing their chance to see all the REAL beauty that is all around! It's crazy. Sometimes when I see a handicap it's so weird I do not understand how people can pass up seeing the beauty in that, I think "does no one see how beautiful that is?" So mind blowing how the world works. I am SO lucky to be different and be open to all of that beauty. I think it's a blessing from God. I am grateful to be a dev!
Other people might see it, and see beauty in these so called flaws, and its so interesting to hear about them and their stories and why it's those particular things that they connect to. I'm also blessed to hear stories from other devs and know how much goodness a person can have inside. Seeing people not afraid to be different is very encouraging and wonderful too. Knowing you don't have to hid it is so freeing.
Well, I'm not sure if I explained myself well or if I got off on too much of a rant... but I tried to explain and those are the reasons I'm here. Just thought I'd share. I hope anything I've said can help or brighten someone's day. That's really what it's all about.
I come here mostly for discussions, I'm not looking for life long love or to meet up or to even really disclose too much identifying information about myself. I like being anonymous. I do find all the subjects brought up on this site deeply fascinating though and relatable.
As probably a lot of devs felt I always thought my sexuality and what for me was tied to sexual and romantic feelings to be just crazy different from how the world and society seemed to present what a 'normal' girl is into. Fueling this taboo aspect that can be a huge part as well. I thought for a long time I was very different and I was scared of this for a while. I thought I was a pervert of some kind or that there was something wrong with me. Or that it might indicate something dark or sadistic about me that I'm into people with disabilities.
Because deep down I DO want people to be happy and comfortable living. I don't want to see humans in pain or anything like that. It is that and NOT being a sadist which is a foundation for the 'kink'. Because the extreme cases of people with disabilities exist no matter what we want for people anyway. There is not ignoring it. I think the shock of seeing these things for the first time really changed me since a young age. Their is a helplessness aspect, this desire to save and to 'nurse'. The feelings are hugely tied with emotions of sympathy and empathy. For me love/romance/sex and sympathy are almost inseparable.
All of those feelings took me a while to embrace because apparently they are not what a girl is SUPPOSED to want in the society we live in. And yet rather than seeing it as a weakness I see it as so impressive and as truly strong to live as a handicapped person in this world. Over coming adversity and issues I can't even imagine is truly humbling.
It's so funny how things work in this world. When all the culture is based around all these silly superficial issues, everyone tied up in themselves and how they appear. When there are so many unsung heros who might not even get the love and appreciation they deserve in life because everyone is wrapped up in shallow pursuits.
So ironic how the world can be. Yet their is always beauty and love to be shared. My main goal in life is to just share a little of it and I will be happy. It's so weird how people identify beauty and chase and chase that, never achieving it and never being happy. They are sacrificing their chance to see all the REAL beauty that is all around! It's crazy. Sometimes when I see a handicap it's so weird I do not understand how people can pass up seeing the beauty in that, I think "does no one see how beautiful that is?" So mind blowing how the world works. I am SO lucky to be different and be open to all of that beauty. I think it's a blessing from God. I am grateful to be a dev!
Other people might see it, and see beauty in these so called flaws, and its so interesting to hear about them and their stories and why it's those particular things that they connect to. I'm also blessed to hear stories from other devs and know how much goodness a person can have inside. Seeing people not afraid to be different is very encouraging and wonderful too. Knowing you don't have to hid it is so freeing.
Well, I'm not sure if I explained myself well or if I got off on too much of a rant... but I tried to explain and those are the reasons I'm here. Just thought I'd share. I hope anything I've said can help or brighten someone's day. That's really what it's all about.
