Back again/frustration w being a Dev

[Deleted]

I left this site because I was embarrassed to be on here. I'm still embarrassed to be on here. I'm still embarrassed to be a dev. I try to fight it. Pretend this attraction doesn't exist. I try really hard. I'm single. And it's rough because I don't know any non weirdo wheelers especially in my area. So I think I'll be forever alone. Lol
I dated a Wheeler once and he just wasn't for me. Goes to prove that I am attracted to people who wheel....that's how you may catch my attention but personality is what captures my heart.
No one knows about my secret yet I'm paranoid everyone is already and has been aware for a long time now. I hate being a dev.

[Mets]

Welcome back, sorry to hear you're having frustrations. It seems like you've already found the root of the problem - trouble accepting your devness - which is half the battle itself. I'm sure most of, if not all of the other devs here had similar feelings about coming to terms with their attraction. It's logical to feel like this, because society as a whole isn't used to it, yet, and we aren't exposed to PWD-AB relationships as often as we should be. A lot of the PWDs here, myself include, face similar situations where they are uncomfortable seeing themselves as attractive, and cannot accept that devs exist, especially ones who are pretty, funny and friendly. Luckily for the devs and PWDs with these frustrations, this community is the perfect place to grow past them, and I truly hope you will be able to do exactly that.

[butterfly]

I'm new so I don't remember you but I'm glad you're back. Honey, being a dev is a part of you and something that makes you unique and special...you're not going to make it go away by fighting against it, you're just going to make yourself even more miserable than you already think you are. Chances are that most, if not all, of the people around you have no idea; they probably have never even considered the fact that we exist because it's so far out of their definition of "normal". Well....so what? What makes their definition the right one? Personally I think it's abnormal to see only one dimension of a person, one single trait, and to judge that person unworthy of time, attention and love because of it. It happens all day long with regard to race, ethnic background, weight, disability, you name it, someone's gonna judge us all unfairly about it at some point in our lives. But being able to celebrate those differences, to embrace them and to look further inside to find the person that exists behind the "difference", THAT'S an amazing gift. Let those around you judge you or criticize you; it is their weakness, not yours, that is the problem. I already know that this is a wonderful and safe place where there is acceptance from both sides and where we can all finally be understood and valued. Please, feel free and do not hesitate to reach out to me, I cannot make that offer on anyone else's behalf but I'm guessing others would say the same. You have a lot on your mind, I'd be very glad to listen.

[Hopper]

Being a Dev is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of. After all, it's just part of who you are and not something you can change, so turn that negativity into a positive thing and embrace it.

Embrace the fact that you'll make someone feel loved and appreciated and will be loved and appreciated in return.

Embrace the fact that you're never alone, and that there's always help at hand to guide you through hardships.

Embrace the fact that in a world where weak people judge the strong, you are the strong one for coming to terms with who you are and not giving a fuck.

Embrace the fact that you are unique, special, individual and have things that only you can offer to the world, things that will improve lives and enhance them.

And.....that's it for now.

[alexa2010]

Welcome back.
May I ask how old you are?

[Deleted]

I know how you feel, 100%. It's one of the reasons I've been up and down, through the the wringer... You're not alone, believe me. Feel free to PM me if you need/want to. We all gotta stick together, and we'll figure it out!

[Deleted]

Hi
I know how you feel only too well. Unfortunately we cannot help how we feel or how we are formed.
I am also sure this is what every dev feels at least at some point.
Feel free to pm me too anytime you like and hang around. Usually it's nice around here

[Pony]

yahh, I have to say, it's a tough position to be in...if we could control our heart/desires/emotions, but we can't usually. For the record, I'm frustrated with women, period. It's just never worked out for whatever reason, so there's a lot of us lost souls out here. As for being embarrassed, that's because society makes ur attraction so taboo. not easy to swim upstream, but this place might be good for u bcoz so many other girls that can feel you.

I could be your first non-weirdo wheeler friend...lol

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2015 21:37:53 GMT -5 @sweeteepaiseeds said:

I left this site because I was embarrassed to be on here. I'm still embarrassed to be on here. I'm still embarrassed to be a dev. I try to fight it. Pretend this attraction doesn't exist. I try really hard. I'm single. And it's rough because I don't know any non weirdo wheelers especially in my area. So I think I'll be forever alone. Lol
I dated a Wheeler once and he just wasn't for me. Goes to prove that I am attracted to people who wheel....that's how you may catch my attention but personality is what captures my heart.
No one knows about my secret yet I'm paranoid everyone is already and has been aware for a long time now. I hate being a dev.

I have absolutely no idea how you feel but a few thoughts come to mind.

1. I lived in FL for two of the longest years of my life and honestly, I met very few non-weirdo people in general. Okay, that was a bit of a joke but my point is that dev/wheeler relationships require just as much (maybe even more) effort to weed out the ones that aren't the right fit. You're not the only person that has pursued and stayed too long in shit relationship because of a superficial attraction. It's easy to blame the other person but the reality most often is that you knew it wasn't right from the get go. I've been guilty of this a couple times, too. (p*ssy blindness )

2. I'm sure that others would agree, I would NEVER pursue a relationship with someone that is embarrassed of me or to be with me. Let me say that one more time - NEVER. And if there is some guy out there willing to put up with that, I can guarantee that you're not dealing with the "cream of the crop." And in that same vein, most well adjusted people (wheeler or not) can spot self-loathing a mile away and tend to steer clear.

I hope this doesn't come off as hostile toward you, I honestly mean no harm. But I have to ask: What, specifically, are you embarrassed about? I don't want to speculate.

[butterfly]

Little bit of timely wisdom from my FB feed today....

Attachments:

[roger888]

I can't help you with your embarrassment,so why don't you tell us what you like about yourself? That's as much hardwired into you as your devness,it's all part of the sum total of who you are.

[hartmannwrites]

First of all, I'd like to give you a warm welcome back, @sweeteepaiseeds
I can't even pretend to understand what you're feeling since I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum with my devness.
However, I'm sure there are many ladies here who can give you some valuable insight

Aug 11, 2015 21:37:53 GMT -5 @sweeteepaiseeds said:

Goes to prove that I am attracted to people who wheel....that's how you may catch my attention but personality is what captures my heart.

I wholeheartedly agree with this though!

[swagittarius]

Take heart, you are among friends who won't judge or ridicule you because of your attraction. Welcome back.

[Deleted]

Deleted or banned? Anyone know the scoop?

(one of my rare gossip moments)

[dolly]

i expect she self-deleted. the mods don't usually delete banned accounts.