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Post by devogirl on Jan 2, 2019 7:17:20 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that Dani. I know what you mean. I also used to feel very worked up sometimes after seeing some random guy in public, but not anymore. I think what cured me, not of being a dev, but of feeling crappy about it, was having real life experiences and channeling my desires into creative work. You're very lucky your husband is so accepting and understanding.
I also used to get worked up because of magical thinking, feeling like everything happened for a reason, everything was a sign or portent. I'm not a religious person, and letting go of superstition really helped me accept that seeing someone was really just a random encounter, not a sign or some riddle I had to solve, or a taunt for a fantasy that I could never fulfill.
The other thing that helped me let go of the angst was actually following through with some of those random sightings, chatting up the hot guy and realizing that he was not actually my perfect dream guy. I was lucky enough to live out some of my dev fantasies and they were not always as great as I imagined.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2019 13:03:55 GMT -5
The other thing that helped me let go of the angst was actually following through with some of those random sightings, chatting up the hot guy and realizing that he was not actually my perfect dream guy. I was lucky enough to live out some of my dev fantasies and they were not always as great as I imagined. Thanks so much dg. Believe me, I wish I could have that real life experience so I could finally check it off. I don't believe it's going to happen though because there are just simply no opportunities for me to even meet someone. Or the people who are closer in location are not my type or its not anyone with my preferred disability. People I meet are online and usually far away. The funny thing is, my expectations for a real life experience are so very low and not sexual and not dreaming of a relationship either. They are literally that low as to, let me touch your wheelchair or look at you while we have coffee...lol It is so rare I see a guy in a chair who actually catches my eye and the only one I had even a remote chance to talk to was the gym crush who then disappeared out of my life again. So yeah, I don't think it will happen, that's why every time I see a guy in a chair who may be somewhat my type it just throws everything off for me and I stumble over my dev self. As for creative work, well, that's why I write... Thanks guys, I am sorry I derailed our thread here.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2019 14:46:53 GMT -5
So, yesterday at work I saw a dude in a chair and got a long look at him but it didn't do anything to me because I didn't find him attractive in that way. He had a nice chair and all and looked like a normal guy, even if he wouldn't be in a chair I wouldn't waste much time on checking him out. So, this makes me wonder...why does it hit me with some and then not at all with others? I think I really have to find the guy hot and attractive for my devness to get triggered in a strong emotional reaction. It's the same with disabilities who are not my "favorite" disability. When the guy is not my type, doesn't matter what disability, my devness turns into a mere factual interest of some sort like pertaining to the disability or the hardware but when the guy is attractive it changes into something else.
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Post by robbb on Jan 6, 2019 10:07:13 GMT -5
I think that might be a dev-normal Dani. I sometimes see SCI guys who in theory should get me going but for whatever reason don't. Other times a guy with a disability that doesn't normally catch my eye will get me turned on big time. I suppose it's just that thing... some guys have it. R.
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elyse
Junior Member
Posts: 97
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by elyse on Jan 10, 2019 17:12:50 GMT -5
Hey Everyone! I had a very interesting wheeler spotting and I really felt like I need to share it! It's been literally a year since the last time I posted with a sighting so that goes to show how often I'm spotting lol!
Last week my husband and I, with our infant, flew back home across the country from a vacation. We got through the airport security just in time for pre-boarding. Which is such a nice perk of traveling with a baby... but also the benefit that wheelers get to preboard too! As I stood in the pre-boarding line I noticed a young wheeler sitting just a few feet to my side. Cool, I thought. Kind of cute. Most likely a para.
As we went down the hallway to the plane he was waiting right before the door for them to fetch an aisle chair for him. We stopped but couldn't figure out where to leave the baby's stroller for gate check. So yet another chance of getting to stand next to him. Actually briefly spoke to him about who was going to go first. He was still waiting and I needed to wait for my husband to return from moving the stroller.
We board first and he goes right after us. While placing our bags overhead I could see him starting to transfer from the aisle chair to his seat. So wish I could have been closer to watch that! I was wondering why he would buy an aisle seat on a 5 hour flight! What if the people in the other two seats want to get up? He wouldn't be able to move lol! When we got off the plane at our destination I realized after transferring to the aisle seat he probably transferred over again to the window as that was where he was waiting as everyone else got off. Duh! I also saw out the window someone taking his chair down the steps to load it onto the plane. They guy couldn't figure out how to hold it and get down the steps at the same time and finally decided lifting it over his head would work! Kind of funny!
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Jan 10, 2019 23:28:15 GMT -5
Oh elyse, those airport sightings are spot on! The resurrection of my DEV self came alive at an airport. Thanks for sharing!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2019 18:39:07 GMT -5
The other day I saw a guy in a chair rolling through my supermarket, most likely SCI. And even though it interested me and I watched him get in his truck (we just happened to go outside at the same time) it didn't stir much in me at all because I didn't find him attractive for my taste.
So there goes that again, it really depends on what type of guy it is that I would see and how it affects me and I do believe it is also a hormonal thing.
I was as always super curious and interested in his chair and all that stuff but it didn't do anything to me as in an emotional break down/rollercoaster or anything like on New Years Day when I almost ran over that other guy.
Anyways, after the sighting I had a smile on my face but in a very mellow, calm kind of way. Maybe I sighed a little...lol
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Post by pam on Jan 17, 2019 19:37:06 GMT -5
The other day I saw a guy in a chair rolling through my supermarket, most likely SCI. And even though it interested me and I watched him get in his truck (we just happened to go outside at the same time) it didn't stir much in me at all because I didn't find him attractive for my taste. So there goes that again, it really depends on what type of guy it is that I would see and how it affects me and I do believe it is also a hormonal thing. I was as always super curious and interested in his chair and all that stuff but it didn't do anything to me as in an emotional break down/rollercoaster or anything like on New Years Day when I almost ran over that other guy. Anyways, after the sighting I had a smile on my face but in a very mellow, calm kind of way. Maybe I sighed a little...lol It definitely makes a difference to me if it is someone attractive to me. If they are, I get really excited to see them. If not, then I really have no feeling at all. It's like if i see a woman in a chair or an elderly person, nothing. It all depends on their looks.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2019 10:49:34 GMT -5
Same here, not only do they need to be attractive to me but also my type of pwd. Add that to needing to be im my locality then it, sadly, makes the odds of finding someone pretty slim. But if you do find the right person, then omg the attraction is crazily intense. Far far more than ive had an any of my AB relationships ! So definitely worth it.
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Post by robbb on Jan 18, 2019 14:01:25 GMT -5
I'm sure I've said before, although that is generally true of me, if I am honest sometimes, only sometimes, I will find a PWD guy attractive that I wouldn't if he weren't a PWD. I sometimes worry that it makes me a little shallow.
R.
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Post by Emma on Jan 19, 2019 1:14:09 GMT -5
Yeah its the same with me Robb. I'm super picky normally so finding a disabled guy attractive if he isn't exactly my type doesn't mean he is unattractive though. I have noticed however that the more I like his disability the less his other features matter. Maybe that's shallow like you say, or maybe its more about balance; he has other attractive features that balance out the ones I'm less into.
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Post by pam on Jan 19, 2019 15:14:30 GMT -5
I was going to town and glanced at the house where the para lives that I mentioned previously. Sometimes he is by the house which is sort of far from the road. Well today he was CHECKING THE MAIL! He was so close, but not facing me so I got a view of the back of his head. It was a nice surprise though.๐
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2019 19:02:05 GMT -5
I am so excited...went to the gym and out of nowhere there he was again...my gym crush, beautiful as ever. I really had given up on him, because it has been months since I have seen him, maybe he goes to Arizona over the winter or something It was so nice to see him, saw him transfer onto the seat of a machine and it is still amazing to me. I hope to see him around again, who knows, maybe one of these days I will have the courage to talk to him.
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Jan 26, 2019 11:57:54 GMT -5
Iโm kind of jealous pam and Dani. I havenโt seen my grocery store para in quite some time ๐. Good for both of you ๐.
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marmar
New Member
Posts: 40
Gender: Trans
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by marmar on Feb 1, 2019 4:56:11 GMT -5
Oh man I saw such a handsome guy today! I recently moved to SoCal for school and I just went back to school this week. When I went to my next class, I saw the most cute quad! He had long hair (which I love) and kind eyes and let me tell you this was almost like a fanfic ๐ he made so many funny jokes during class and I may have laughed a little too loud at them. Iโm swooning thatโs for sure!
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