How to approach a PWD?

[Deleted]

Just like you'd approach anyone else. Show some interest and if they're interested, they'll show some back. It's the same here but replace approaching the person with sending a PM. I think we tend to complicate things way too much.

[malibu]

Eye contact is key, just flirt a bit and he´ll understand

For example. I look, if he looks, I look away. Than I look again. It´s something unconscious, yes, I´m not sooo calculated. Just a bit. I read a book when I was 14 which saved me in these situations, it´s how to flirt with a person. It´s a german book, very interesting. They suggest to skip a few steps depending on the culture. I read it more like a joke, but to be very honest, it´s useful, specially for me, cultural confused person. In general confused person, better. I´m super shy, but many wouldn´t tell. I´m always like YAYYYY, IRL too, and in my inside deep deep down I´m more like. Wanna disappear!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I pretend I´m drunk huahuahuahuhaua. Does it work??? Depends, if the guy is drunk himself. Yes. I should stop giving advises, this is becoming really odd.

[harmonniousvision]

I have a kind of inner panicky dev monologue in those situations where i like lecture myself on how to behave.... I imagine this isn't an uncommon dev reaction.
Things i tell myself when in the company of a sexy wheeler in real life...
1. smile
2. be personable... he's a person just like you
3. make eye contact
4. give him the sense you're completely at ease and cool with him. Dev is not written on your forehead
5. shake his hand.

[Deleted]

Approach quietly. If they don't hear you coming, it's much easier to get them in your van.

[Deleted]

Jun 29, 2016 18:41:16 GMT -5 someonerandom said:

Approach quietly. If they don't hear you coming, it's much easier to get them in your van.

You forget perk #9:


9. I'm really difficult to kidnap. You might think this is only a perk for me but you'll never have to pay a ransom. Bail, on the other hand... I can't make any promises.

paradevo.proboards.com/post/133891/thread

[midwestguy]

As the others have said, say hi, make eye contact and try to relax. Don't be afraid to ask questions!!! It's a great icebreaker and can show you're accepting of them being in a chair. From my experience almost all PWDs are more than willing to talk about it. And if they're a veteran say "I want to thank you for your service, here's my number." Ok, that might sound slutty but it'll speed up the process 

[Deleted]

How would you make contact with an AB guy? Do exactly that.

[mike]

Betty, if you think he's a veteran there are quite a few open-ended questions most vets are accustomed to, but won't mind answering.
Some samples: When were you in the military?
What branch of the military were you in?
What did you do? (what was your job, not specific activities) (another vet would ask "What was your MOS?", but unless you're a vet yourself you wouldn't ask that way)
Did you get hurt in the line of duty? What happened?

The answers to these kinds of questions will either elicit terse simplistic answers or more lengthy explanations, depending upon his level of interest.
Once you get a dialog going, you'll be fine.

[matisse]

Actually it's not the same as for an AB guy. You need to keep in mind that we get attention all the time. A look and smile is not necessarily enough because we get that so much from people just being nice and wanting to feel like they did a good deed for the day. So you should understand that if you don't get the reaction you were looking for, it's not necessarily because he would not be interested.

There is the hot chick exception. If you're a head turner for AB guys then if a wheeler ignores you, he's probably not interested.

[Armus]

There's no need to approach a crippled dude any differently than you would approach any other dude. It's not like you need to walk up and tell them you're a dev. I don't wander up to girls and say "Hi, I'm Josh and I'm attracted to girls with big butts and small boobs, how's your day going?"

[Nia]

I red all your posts hoping to find some advice on how to finally approach a para guy from my neighborhood who I saw 6-7 times over the past few months and who I like A LOT. But seriously guys I found nothing helpful sorry
First of all I agree 100% with what has been said above that for us you are not just as any other AB guy.
For me if my neighbor was AB I would start some sort of a conversation with him (with or without success doesn't matter now) a LONG time ago... But him being a wheeler who seems to have 0 interest in me and who is always accompanied by at least 3 male friends who act like bodyguards... It is out of the question and makes me freeze every time I see him. Last time I gave him a wide smile but I don't think he even noticed. (Btw he seems to be super self confident he always talks, laughs... He is laud and super good looking). I like him so much that I am contemplating anything from direct approach and "for me you are the most beautiful guy in Belgrade" run and move to another continent- to I don't know... "Accidentally" dropping a piece of jewelry under his chair I am desperate don't worry I won't do non of this but I am just telling you it's not at all easy. And btw I always meet him in a local cafe on the corner. Just once I had courage to sit next to his table and order a cafe... I had a wonderful time having him so near for like 10 minutes before they left:( He is always at the same table with same 3 guys out of which one seems to be his brother. I am afraid that he will stay someone I admire from a distance

[harmonniousvision]

think about your celebrity crush guys... if you met your celebrity crush or dream woman, a woman who seemed "unattainable" to you.... would you go right up and make a move on her or would you freak out... think Scarlett Johansson, Emilia Clarke, whoever she is... A woman that you feel like you'd have no chance of ever hooking up with... Thats how we feel around you! Inner panic, we suddenly feel like the ugliest, least desirable woman in the world, we see all of our flaws and we're quite certain anything we say or do is going to make "Dev" magically appear on our forehead... How would you hit on a woman under those circumstances...

[Armus]

Yeah, what you are describing is how every man that has ever asked out an attractive woman has felt. And it's even more scary as a cripple because the chances of rejection are so much higher. We still do it though, partially because despite our progress in getting over gender roles, men are still generally expected to be the asker outers, and partially because it gets so much less scary when you have done it a few times and realize that they're just people with the same fears and anxieties as anyone else.

If I, a disabled dude with crippling social anxiety, can ask out women that are way out of my league (which I have done and totally will continue to do on occasion), you can ask out your dream wheeler.

[harmonniousvision]

i'm not saying we can't do it... I'm saying we have a lot of emotional muck to get thru to find the courage...

[Armus]

Another thing to keep in mind is that men don't often get approached by women in a romantic capacity. I mean, it happens, it's just not common at all. So when it does happen, it's usually a welcome change of pace. At least for me. Both times I've been approached by women in a public space were at bars, which ended in drunkenly making out outside of said bars.

I can't speak for most dudes, but I sure as shit love being approached by ladies.