I think one of my helpers is into me...
Jul 29, 2016 17:40:08 GMT -5
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Post by wiggles on Jul 29, 2016 17:40:08 GMT -5
I'm posting this here because this strikes me as a good place to discuss this situation.
I'm beginning to think that one of my helpers (caregiver, aide, homecare worker - whatever word you like best) has developed feelings for me beyond just the normal friendly, professional level. However, because I am undeniably very close to the situation I can't fully trust that I'm not completely misreading things. There have just been so many hints that I just need to talk about this and hopefully hear that I'm not completely crazy.
Anyway, here goes:
A few months ago, completely out of the blue, she started talking to me about a helper that she had heard about who had fallen in love with the man she was helping and who she had subsequently married. She wanted to know what I thought about that and followed up her query with the statement "I guess love is blind."
She has always been very curious about my relationship with my ex-wife. Most specifically about the romantic aspect. How did we meet, how long did we date, all that sort of stuff. When I revealed to her that it was in fact my then-girlfriend who had proposed marriage, my helper seemed surprised (a normal reaction, I've found, considering it's still very untraditional for the woman to propose, even in forward-thinking Scandinavia) but there was something else going on when I told her. For lack of a better word, it seemed to excite her.
She has remarked, more than once, that she can "see why my wife married me" and about how sweet I am and how she understands now why someone would want to be with me. I'm paraphrasing here, not trying to talk myself up, obviously.
(A quick bit of technical background now before the next thing. In Denmark you can get help from people who work for the municipality (the Danish word is "kommune") or you can privately choose and employ helpers yourself (although the kommune still pays for it... Yay, socialism!). For the moment, I am being helped by helpers who work for the kommune.)
She texts me. We message back a forth quite a bit, in fact. And while I would have given her my number if she'd asked, she actually got my number from my file and was the one who started texting. She'll write me during the day if she's out helping other people. She'll also write me after work when she's at home. All of this, obviously, is super against the rules. She's asked me not to tell anyone that we chat and also to make sure she's not listed under her name in my contact list in case she sends me a message and another helper sees her name pop up on my phone.
I've been considering switching from help from the kommune to helpers I choose myself. She has made it very clear that she would like to work with me exclusively. In other words, she would change her job for me.
There are probably more examples I could point to but this seems like enough for one message, and certainly enough just to mull over for the more casual observer. There is one last thing I need to add, though, and it's the real fly in the proverbial ointment... She's married. She has three kids. And I can tell she's not especially happy.
So am I completely crazy or is there at least a little something going on here?
I'm beginning to think that one of my helpers (caregiver, aide, homecare worker - whatever word you like best) has developed feelings for me beyond just the normal friendly, professional level. However, because I am undeniably very close to the situation I can't fully trust that I'm not completely misreading things. There have just been so many hints that I just need to talk about this and hopefully hear that I'm not completely crazy.
Anyway, here goes:
A few months ago, completely out of the blue, she started talking to me about a helper that she had heard about who had fallen in love with the man she was helping and who she had subsequently married. She wanted to know what I thought about that and followed up her query with the statement "I guess love is blind."
She has always been very curious about my relationship with my ex-wife. Most specifically about the romantic aspect. How did we meet, how long did we date, all that sort of stuff. When I revealed to her that it was in fact my then-girlfriend who had proposed marriage, my helper seemed surprised (a normal reaction, I've found, considering it's still very untraditional for the woman to propose, even in forward-thinking Scandinavia) but there was something else going on when I told her. For lack of a better word, it seemed to excite her.
She has remarked, more than once, that she can "see why my wife married me" and about how sweet I am and how she understands now why someone would want to be with me. I'm paraphrasing here, not trying to talk myself up, obviously.
(A quick bit of technical background now before the next thing. In Denmark you can get help from people who work for the municipality (the Danish word is "kommune") or you can privately choose and employ helpers yourself (although the kommune still pays for it... Yay, socialism!). For the moment, I am being helped by helpers who work for the kommune.)
She texts me. We message back a forth quite a bit, in fact. And while I would have given her my number if she'd asked, she actually got my number from my file and was the one who started texting. She'll write me during the day if she's out helping other people. She'll also write me after work when she's at home. All of this, obviously, is super against the rules. She's asked me not to tell anyone that we chat and also to make sure she's not listed under her name in my contact list in case she sends me a message and another helper sees her name pop up on my phone.
I've been considering switching from help from the kommune to helpers I choose myself. She has made it very clear that she would like to work with me exclusively. In other words, she would change her job for me.
There are probably more examples I could point to but this seems like enough for one message, and certainly enough just to mull over for the more casual observer. There is one last thing I need to add, though, and it's the real fly in the proverbial ointment... She's married. She has three kids. And I can tell she's not especially happy.
So am I completely crazy or is there at least a little something going on here?
The question is: is she... hot? Naa joking. The main question is: do you like her? How do you feel when she is around you? 
