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Post by Ciao Bella on Oct 1, 2017 5:58:11 GMT -5
You seem like a really nice guy with a nice smile, and from what I can tell, can hold a conversation rather well. For me, the last is the thing that drives me nuts about a guy. So when you find a girl who is willing to take you on, regardless of the belly (hey, most girls - even me - struggle with this problem and some can't even blame being quads!), just say OK. As you can tell, not eveyone will be into it, but some would be happy to overlook it and it probably will be such a non-issue you'd be wondering why you were so worried about it. But I see what you mean about perhaps losing the weight for your own benefit. Have you spoken with an obesity clinic (I know you're not obese, but they may be able to provide some useful info?). I know there is one at the Austin Hospital in Melbourne. Good luck
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on the dot
Junior Member
Taken by a quad ;-)
Posts: 54
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: It's complicated
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Post by on the dot on Oct 1, 2017 16:50:14 GMT -5
I know I do not speak for the majority of women, but my perspective is this: If I'm not interested in someone, it doesn't matter if they are lean and have abs, I'm still not attracted to them. I may find them hot in the "nice view" kind of way, but that's all. However, if I *am* interested, which happens extremely rarely, then I don't mind a belly at all. And that's not to say "I'll put up with it". It's to say: "YES, YES, YES, and may I have some whipped cream on top?"
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VividDreams
New Member
Posts: 10
Gender: Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by VividDreams on Oct 12, 2017 12:58:47 GMT -5
To the OP:
Back in January 2017 - I weighed close to 200 pounds, which is quite a bit considering my height. As a high functioning quad, I was noticing that I would lose my breath doing transfers and other basic tasks such as cleaning, or household chores. My weight loss journey began at this point - it was born out of what I considered necessity, and not vanity or appearance (although these reasons have merit if they are self-motivating).
I decided that I needed to change the way I was eating. During that time, I was still a student studying until 2-3:00AM putting all effort into my studies and tricking myself that I could not "find time" to focus on losing weight. However with some research, and YouTube videos I was able to develop a successful weight loss strategy, even for a quad living a sedentary lifestyle.
Firstly, I made sure I began this journey with small changes to my current habits. Change must be gradual, and the changed behaviour must be consistent for it to become something we will follow for the long-run. So first I cut off ordering and eating fast food for a month and began cooking all of my own meals. At this point in time, I had zero knowledge about nutrient or what I should/shouldn't be eating - but cutting out all take-out food needed to happen.
Once this became a new normal and easy (probably about a month), I wanted to enact my next change which was begin changing my diet at home. I implemented a system where I made sure to count all of my calories during the day, and to make sure never to go beyond 1000 calories. Following this 1000 calorie system, mathematically ensured that I would lose 2 pounds per week (without any exercise) based on my calorie deficit. This change was quite drastic which required me to learn about how I would sustain myself through the day (raw fruits and vegetables + water!).
My next step was beginning to look at substitutions for the types of foods I enjoyed eating, but no longer could. For example, white bread, white pasta, and white rice, processed junk all had to removed - however I really enjoyed eating them so I started eating whole wheat pasta, quinoa, and whole wheat bread etc.
Lastly, once I kept this diet up for 6 months, I wanted to add exercise into my daily regime as I felt I was ready to take that next step. I bought a hand-bike (that I self-propel) off Amazon for $150 and use it for 30 minutes everyday.
Now - I'm not a muscle man, or even particularly "thin" looking (partially due to my anatomical structure), however making these small, gradual changes allowed me to lose 60 pounds which I'm really proud of.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2017 1:05:58 GMT -5
Here are a few things that have helped me: 1. Counting calories. This tells you where to cut, where you stand, and so you can set goals. It only takes 5-10 minutes a day to enter the information in a spreadsheet. 2. See if you can just eliminate dessert most days. This saves 250 calories a day for just one cookie, and a whole lot more for stuff like cake or ice cream. 3. I'm not a fan of lots of small meals instead of larger ones. I think you end up eating more. I often would not eat anything until dinner, then eat a filling dinner. I dealt with the hunger during the day by keeping my stomach full with zero-calorie drinks. 4. You can actually trick your stomach a little, but getting low calorie foods that have a lot of bulk, like broccoli. 5. I use lime and salt for my salad dressing, this just happens to be the way I grew up eating salad. 6. Enjoyment of food is learned, for a lot of foods the more you eat them the more you like them. Think of milk--most people start with whole milk and eventually end up with skim milk. Once you're used to skim milk, then whole milk tastes gross. Don't go for any of the fad diets. The ones that work best are the ones that count the calories for you, like weight watchers. One pound is about 3500 calories, and it is astonishing what a strong correlation that really is. If you cut 3500 calories from your weekly intake, you will lose a pound a week until you get to equilibrium. I'm not a quad, but common sense is applicable to all body types, regardless of disabilities. matisse pretty much nailed it for me, my only concern is number 3).. Trick your hunger with water.. those zero cal drinks are full of nasty fake sugar chems.. not where you want to go if you wish to stay healthy.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2019 19:34:25 GMT -5
I've been subscribed to Freshly for a few months and couldn't be happier. It makes life easier and the meals are all 300-600 calories. I edited to remove the link because it wasn't linking to the correct site but if you're interested, it's just freshly.com
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Post by dave78 on Oct 21, 2019 22:45:14 GMT -5
hey man I been training I studied the body for a long time I can tell you from personal experiences and peoples the best way to get in shape all round for quad or para is too arm bike strap your arms in and go for as long as you can start with bouts of 10 mins x 3 work your way up to 15x 2 then a full 30 that's a start how I started it will help you shape your whole body but you must do this religiously in order to see results diet is key also plays the biggest part Absolutely! I switched to a vegetarian diet and I use my handbike every day. I would see if someone has a handbike that you can try out. Start with the lowest tension setting and just try it for a couple of minutes. You're not strength training you are just trying to burn a few more calories. Step two would be to ask a doctor how many calories per day you should consume. Too few or too many and you will put on weight. With people in wheelchairs, we have to use trial and error to find our caloric sweet spot but your doctor can give you a fairly good idea of what you should shoot for. Good luck!
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Post by feelsunshine on Oct 22, 2019 2:45:25 GMT -5
I can't give advice on how to lose weight, because I've been struggling with that for all my life as well. As for the attraction, I can totally agree on what Dani said. I find myself finding different body types attractive. It's the person as a whole package that makes him interesting. I don't mind the quad belly at all. And yes, there are certain things that I don't like and I'm done, no matter how interesting the person could be - nasty nails, un-washed hair, really bad teeth ... stuff like that. LOL, I could oversee flipflops and still like the person, but my personal no-go are the guys with these thick gold-necklaces. It could be the greatest guy in the world, but if he has these thick gold necklaces, I'm done. No interest in getting to know the person. I know this is totally superficial but well, this is how attraction goes, I guess. EDIT: LOL I found myself again replying to the topics of a super old thread without paying attention to the jump in dates. Dani might not even remember what she wrote back then. sorry.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2019 10:27:48 GMT -5
feelsunshine Since you tagged me I saw your comment and once again looked at my reply to this thread. Yeah, I still feel the same way. I had to smile about your dislike of thick gold necklaces...I guess you would never hook up with a rapper or a drug lord...lol And it's okay to revive old threads sometimes, so don't worry about that.
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Post by ProudRealist on Oct 22, 2019 19:45:07 GMT -5
Since i posted this thread, I've actually lost about 15kg... i hit the keto diet and upped the organic supplements (mostly Spirulina & chlorella). Never felt (or looked ) better! Happy to share my regime if anyone is struggling with weight loss... took me a while but i finally perfected the process
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Post by linda on Oct 25, 2019 3:59:18 GMT -5
but my personal no-go are the guys with these thick gold-necklaces. It could be the greatest guy in the world, but if he has these thick gold necklaces, I'm done. No interest in getting to know the person. I know this is totally superficial but well, this is how attraction goes, I guess. EDIT: LOL I found myself again replying to the topics of a super old thread without paying attention to the jump in dates. Dani might not even remember what she wrote back then. sorry. I couldn’t agree more! I myself dislike jewelry, metal in general. But the worst for me are men with jewelery, and golden thick necklaces the worst out of the worst. I had mentioned in another thread that my now ex-boyfriend (still can’t believe it) and I were so different. I liked things about him that I would have never ever thought in my entire life I could accept. And I didn’t just accept them, I actually started to like them a lot to my own surprise, such as tattoos or his funny hairstyle that I used to call „Paraasipalme“ (sorry, that’s one for the people who know German). But the one and only taboo that remained were the earrings. He was kind enough to leave them out whenever we met, and we had a very happy time.
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thewng
New Member
T4/5 Para of 20 odd years.
Posts: 15
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by thewng on Oct 25, 2019 18:42:19 GMT -5
Nearly 24 years in I have managed to lose weight a few times and try and avoid the Para/tetra belly as much as I could. The two best things I ever did to make my weight stay at a more even keel was ditching sugary drinks, and giving up bread almost entirely.
Being a T4/5 para, the belly thing is tricky. However I have been using electronic toning belts for years. Slendertone mainly. Obviously you need to be careful the first few times you use it incase it sets of AD or something, but I whack the power up to max and try and do 40 mins 3 or 4 times a week. Just put it on while Im watching TV for example. Obviously I will never have a 6pack but It has stopped my tummy getting saggy for sure. Its also burning a few calories too which is helpful.
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Post by zacc on Oct 26, 2019 10:22:00 GMT -5
I wanted to reply to the Original post specifically on attraction.
It may just be me but I try and make for feeling unattractive at times by making drastic changes, like bleaching my hair, getting tattoos, wearing all black at times. When I do that I find myself attractive. Basically I make myself into someone I’d want to date, someone that seems interesting just by looking at them. (Even though I’ve gone on two dates in my life, I’ve been dating myself for years. 😁)
Does anyone else do this? And what are people’s strategies to feel attractive?
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Post by linda on Oct 26, 2019 10:50:43 GMT -5
I wanted to reply to the Original post specifically on attraction. It may just be me but I try and make for feeling unattractive at times by making drastic changes, like bleaching my hair, getting tattoos, wearing all black at times. When I do that I find myself attractive. Basically I make myself into someone I’d want to date, someone that seems interesting just by looking at them. (Even though I’ve gone on two dates in my life, I’ve been dating myself for years. 😁) Does anyone else do this? And what are people’s strategies to feel attractive? That totally makes sense to me in a way that I also kind of „visualize“ what kind of person I want to be in a specific situation. I used to do that when I was young and often had some very challenging job assignments as an interpreter. I just pictured myself as this professional career woman who gives a great performance. And it worked out! Even my language skills magically improved a great deal, the words just came to my mind like that and everything went smooth and easy. I haven’t so much done this when it comes to dating though. Whether I feel attractive or not has a lot to do with my present mood.
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Post by midwestguy on Oct 26, 2019 17:11:11 GMT -5
I don't have a problem with weight but a couple of years ago my jeans started getting tight around the waist and harder to button. I said oh hell NO! I cut out carbs for my daily diet and only eat them when I'm out, even then I try to limit them. My jeans fit fine now and I feel a lot better. My body doesn't crave sugar and carbs and I like not having those extreme hunger pangs when I haven't eaten. And I don't feel slow and sluggish after meals.
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Post by pam on Oct 26, 2019 20:34:12 GMT -5
I wanted to reply to the Original post specifically on attraction. It may just be me but I try and make for feeling unattractive at times by making drastic changes, like bleaching my hair, getting tattoos, wearing all black at times. When I do that I find myself attractive. Basically I make myself into someone I’d want to date, someone that seems interesting just by looking at them. (Even though I’ve gone on two dates in my life, I’ve been dating myself for years. 😁) Does anyone else do this? And what are people’s strategies to feel attractive? I know what you mean. Over the years, I've colored my hair red and blonde and now I'm back to my natural brown. My hair is curly but now I have straight bangs. I have bought clothes that I thought would make me look better, and certain clothes do make me feel better! And I'm always trying to lose weight, but not usually successful lol I would do a better job of dieting if I was single😁
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