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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2017 20:54:01 GMT -5
Many of you know me, many of you don't. I've been around here for quite a while. It's been said about a million times that this isn't a dating site but I'm going to put this out there anyway. I discovered devs almost ten years ago now. I’ve been with a few and even dated a dev for a couple of years but it has been some time and I kind of let the thrill of that dynamic dwindle in my mind. I’ve focused my attention on myself mostly but have also been pursuing relationships on a local level. I guess you could say I’ve been willing to settle out of convenience. I’ve dated here and there, had some “friendly arrangements” and have been satisfied enough. Until recently, that is. I made the acquaintance of a dev on here and we really hit it off. There was a kind of awakening in me. We talked about everything. EVERYTHING. She brought out things in me that I had almost forgotten and new feelings of why I fell in love with devs in the first place. I hadn’t realized the depths a dev/pwd relationship can reach. She made me want more. Unfortunately, a relationship with her is not an option but I want that “no holds barred” dynamic - you’re a dev and I’m a PWD, let’s embrace it and see where it goes. Obviously there has to be more than that but this is just a jumping off point. I’ve been writing, deleting and rewriting this last bit for the last half an hour or so and still can’t articulate what is in my head but I’m going to just throw it out there. I want a relationship with a dev. I know that the odds are astronomical but I’m an eternal optimist.  My last few “relationships” have made me feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’m not saying that I can’t love or be loved by a non-dev but this thing between a dev and PWD can be so much more and I want more. Don’t you? I’ve done the long distance thing before and honestly, it worked for me. We saw each other often and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not ideal but it can work. I feel like a moron writing this but I figured I’d start somewhere. Again, I know this isn’t a dating site but there are plenty of couples that have met here. So…. If I’ve piqued your interest, shoot me a PM, email, text, fax, raven? Let's talk about what we want. |
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Post by lucretia on Nov 8, 2017 21:02:49 GMT -5
Many of you know me, many of you don't. I've been around here for quite a while. It's been said about a million times that this isn't a dating site but I'm going to put this out there anyway. I discovered devs almost ten years ago now. I’ve been with a few and even dated a dev for a couple of years but it has been some time and I kind of let the thrill of that dynamic dwindle in my mind. I’ve focused my attention on myself mostly but have also been pursuing relationships on a local level. I guess you could say I’ve been willing to settle out of convenience. I’ve dated here and there, had some “friendly arrangements” and have been satisfied enough. Until recently, that is. I made the acquaintance of a dev on here and we really hit it off. There was a kind of awakening in me. We talked about everything. EVERYTHING. She brought out things in me that I had almost forgotten and new feelings of why I fell in love with devs in the first place. I hadn’t realized the depths a dev/pwd relationship can reach. She made me want more. Unfortunately, a relationship with her is not an option but I want that “no holds barred” dynamic - you’re a dev and I’m a PWD, let’s embrace it and see where it goes. Obviously there has to be more than that but this is just a jumping off point. I’ve been writing, deleting and rewriting this last bit for the last half an hour or so and still can’t articulate what is in my head but I’m going to just throw it out there. I want a relationship with a dev. I know that the odds are astronomical but I’m an eternal optimist. My last few “relationships” have made me feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’m not saying that I can’t love or be loved by a non-dev but this thing between a dev and PWD can be so much more and I want more. Don’t you? I’ve done the long distance thing before and honestly, it worked for me. We saw each other often and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not ideal but it can work. I feel like a moron writing this but I figured I’d start somewhere. Again, I know this isn’t a dating site but there are plenty of couples that have met here. So…. If I’ve piqued your interest, shoot me a PM, email, text, fax, raven? Let's talk about what we want. Carrier Raven? LOL I agree there is something extra with regards to the dev/dis dynamic. But with all that passion comes high expectations for everything else. Long distance under those circumstances is ridiculously difficult. More power to you. I can't imagine ever making myself that vulnerable again. |
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Nov 8, 2017 21:48:23 GMT -5
 (Not really... I just had to post a pic of a carrier raven. lol) |
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Post by karotix5 on Nov 9, 2017 6:02:55 GMT -5
I like the idea of a relationship involving a PWD and a dev. Like you said, paradevo isn't set up for that, but I like how you've kind of said "fuck it" to that. Especially since there kind of isn't any place that is set up for that. I had an idea of setting up my own website that is designed solely for PWD and dev relationships. I do think long distance would have to be a given. The only downside is that there really are few devs, and even fewer that will outwardly admit to that due to the (in my opinion, unwarranted) shame. But even if one truly special relationship is made from it I think it would be worth it. I dunno, what do you think? Should there be a website for PWD/dev relationships?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2017 9:53:06 GMT -5
Carrier Raven? LOL I agree there is something extra with regards to the dev/dis dynamic. But with all that passion comes high expectations for everything else. Long distance under those circumstances is ridiculously difficult. More power to you. I can't imagine ever making myself that vulnerable again. I've been thinking about it for a while. I know it's hard but with the right person, the juice is worth the squeeze. |
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Post by lisa on Nov 9, 2017 11:14:17 GMT -5
I have actually always thought that disabled guys should date devs, because of the reasons you mentioned, MNG. But to hear/read this from a disabled guy is great, it includes a certain appreciation that works nicely against all the dev hatred we tend to get elsewhere. There is a lot of potential in dev/dis relationships. Although I can't deny the vulnerability that lucretia mentioned (I have experienced and am experiencing it), I feel that the fact that we are here on PD, going through this whole disability and sexuality thing together, has to mean something. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2017 18:06:40 GMT -5
I feel that the fact that we are here on PD, going through this whole disability and sexuality thing together, has to mean something. I don't think I ever realized how much I enjoy talking about this stuff, I feel like I need an outlet too. |
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Post by mona on Nov 10, 2017 18:24:00 GMT -5
I feel that the fact that we are here on PD, going through this whole disability and sexuality thing together, has to mean something. I don't think I ever realized how much I enjoy talking about this stuff, I feel like I need an outlet too. Go ahead. |
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wheeliedev
New Member
Posts: 14 
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by wheeliedev on Nov 13, 2017 22:18:27 GMT -5
I like the idea of a relationship involving a PWD and a dev. Like you said, paradevo isn't set up for that, but I like how you've kind of said "fuck it" to that. Especially since there kind of isn't any place that is set up for that. I had an idea of setting up my own website that is designed solely for PWD and dev relationships. I do think long distance would have to be a given. The only downside is that there really are few devs, and even fewer that will outwardly admit to that due to the (in my opinion, unwarranted) shame. But even if one truly special relationship is made from it I think it would be worth it. I dunno, what do you think? Should there be a website for PWD/dev relationships? The idea of an exclusive website for the sole purpose of getting to know other devs/PWDs in your area is something I've longed for too. There are a few websites out there right now but none of them seem heavily used and they are also behind paywalls. It seems any endeavor to make a similar site might suffer the same fate? In any case I wish there was a central place where we all could go, and I guess the argument could be made that that is what paradevo is. But my point is that if I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex or any major metro area, and there are millions of people, I can be CERTAIN that there are hundreds of PWDs and probably even devs, but trying to find them is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It's very frustrating. |
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Post by karotix5 on Nov 14, 2017 5:47:59 GMT -5
I like the idea of a relationship involving a PWD and a dev. Like you said, paradevo isn't set up for that, but I like how you've kind of said "fuck it" to that. Especially since there kind of isn't any place that is set up for that. I had an idea of setting up my own website that is designed solely for PWD and dev relationships. I do think long distance would have to be a given. The only downside is that there really are few devs, and even fewer that will outwardly admit to that due to the (in my opinion, unwarranted) shame. But even if one truly special relationship is made from it I think it would be worth it. I dunno, what do you think? Should there be a website for PWD/dev relationships? The idea of an exclusive website for the sole purpose of getting to know other devs/PWDs in your area is something I've longed for too. There are a few websites out there right now but none of them seem heavily used and they are also behind paywalls. It seems any endeavor to make a similar site might suffer the same fate? In any case I wish there was a central place where we all could go, and I guess the argument could be made that that is what paradevo is. But my point is that if I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex or any major metro area, and there are millions of people, I can be CERTAIN that there are hundreds of PWDs and probably even devs, but trying to find them is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It's very frustrating. Honestly I think the chances of finding a dev in your area you're compatible with is more complicated than that. You gotta be their type, and they gotta be your type. It's not good enough you're a PWD and it's not good enough they're a dev. That's why I think that it's a lot more realistic for a long distance relationship to work out than a close one. That's just me though. |
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Post by Mets on Nov 14, 2017 11:10:22 GMT -5
Distance exponentially increases odds. If my “dev pool” was Long Island, a fairly populated major urban area, let’s randomly guess there’s 5 devs. Based on that, there’s 15 devs in NY, and 90 on the east coast, and over 300 in the US.
It doesn’t make sense to focus on those 5, when there’s so many people throughout the country. Same goes for PWDs, just with higher numbers.
I’m also super curious about “dev” demographics. I think it’s extremely rare, but there’s probably still several thousand devs around the world. PD is the only way to somewhat estimate and there’s so many issues with doing that.
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Post by mona on Nov 15, 2017 16:17:08 GMT -5
Distance exponentially increases odds. If my “dev pool” was Long Island, a fairly populated major urban area, let’s randomly guess there’s 5 devs. Based on that, there’s 15 devs in NY, and 90 on the east coast, and over 300 in the US. It doesn’t make sense to focus on those 5, when there’s so many people throughout the country. Same goes for PWDs, just with higher numbers. I’m also super curious about “dev” demographics. I think it’s extremely rare, but there’s probably still several thousand devs around the world. PD is the only way to somewhat estimate and there’s so many issues with doing that. I can't believe we're that rare. I'd rather guess most devs aren't aware of what they are. |
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Nov 16, 2017 4:06:48 GMT -5
1000s seems depressingly low. there's definitely more than 1000s. for example, my ex certainly had some dvvyness to her Sometimes we'd talk about how a door had been more or less opened even tho she had never considered it before. You can bet that was largely due to meeting me but I guarantee I wasn't the only reason. Now, I don't think anyone would consider her to be a true dev by any means but I think there could be a much broader association with the term if you were willing to look at it with an open mind. With that said, I'd say there are at least 50.000 devs alive on earth that have struggled with themselves at some point or another right now. And even that seems too low. maybe it's a million, maybe 2. There's no way homosexuality was that rare 100yrs ago so why would it be any different with devs? If you meant in terms of being openly dev then that discussion might be a little different. Still... 1000s is just too damn low.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2017 18:28:36 GMT -5
Good point A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo ! And even those devs who are not fully open, shouting about it to everyone they know, might be very open to a serious relationship with the right PWD when presented with the opportunity.  I actually dated a local woman a few years ago that was definitely a dev but it wasn't meant to be.  |
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devine
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Post by devine on Dec 10, 2017 2:49:49 GMT -5
Good point A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo ! And even those devs who are not fully open, shouting about it to everyone they know, might be very open to a serious relationship with the right PWD when presented with the opportunity. I actually dated a local woman a few years ago that was definitely a dev but it wasn't meant to be. Did she know about pd? |
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My last few “relationships” have made me feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’m not saying that I can’t love or be loved by a non-dev but this thing between a dev and PWD can be so much more and I want more. Don’t you? I’ve done the long distance thing before and honestly, it worked for me. We saw each other often and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not ideal but it can work. I feel like a moron writing this but I figured I’d start somewhere. Again, I know this isn’t a dating site but there are plenty of couples that have met here. 
