Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2018 16:49:30 GMT -5
If it was a first date i would be more interested in getting to know him a little more, to laugh and chat. There would only be a second date if i was interested romantically so presumably id be open to getting closer then. Maybe im just old fashioned.
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Post by lucretia on Sept 28, 2018 18:48:21 GMT -5
As a sexual assault survivor I know, as do many of us here, there's consent, the fucking "gray area" where all the "pressuring" happens, and sexual assault.
To me, pressuring is assault. She said no, or at the very least didn't say yes, so the dickbag pushes for some action.
Consent is yes. If the answer isn't yes, it's no.
If you feel like it's too awkward to ask for a kiss... Then maybe you need to get to know them better.
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Post by matisse on Sept 28, 2018 19:22:20 GMT -5
Consent is yes. If the answer isn't yes, it's no. I'm getting deja vu on this topic. I think I have said before that I have girl friends who have told me that for them, no didn't always mean no, it's that whole thing of playing hard to get. I don't know if as a society we will, or even can, get to a point of having universally accepted protocols.
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Post by Corey on Sept 28, 2018 19:55:21 GMT -5
I would not worry about it so much. If the girl is into you I dont think she will mind you asking. You could have spaghetti coming out of your pockets it will probably still be okay.
One thing about consent...I dont think a 'yes' is always a 'yes'. She may feel pressured, or polite, or whatever. You just have to use your gut. I know this isnt a great answer because its abstract but thats how emotions and feelings are. I think you really have to be mindful of how your partner is feeling.
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Post by Quadfather on Sept 29, 2018 0:20:58 GMT -5
I promise, once you get them to sit in your lap, the rest will take care of itself.
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Post by didi on Oct 1, 2018 17:57:36 GMT -5
Quadfather Did all the ladies who you got to sit in your lap, give you their consent to post their pictures in an online forum ?
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Post by wheelofsteel on Oct 5, 2018 16:43:39 GMT -5
The other day I was watching a comedy on Netflix and there was a scene in it where the guy is with his crush but he’s very awkward with taking control. He asks her if he could kiss her. She replied with “You don’t get it at all do you? You don’t ask a girl to kiss her. You just let it happen.” Thats when it hit me like a ton of bricks. The single difference I’ve found that makes those moments awkward for me comes from being the PWD. Unless she’s sitting in a chair across from me, I don’t know any other way to get the ball rolling besides asking her or hoping she takes the initiative. PWDs, what is your approach when you’re into someone and you can sense the sparks ready to fly? For devs, what would be your approach from your point of view? When I'm dating an AB, I personally find it difficult to get the kiss feeling between each other, because you are not on the same level with the heads. Then it's better with a dinner date so you're on the same level, but then my next problem will be "contractures" when I have it on both my arms, it feels completely unnatural, stretching the hand to reach her hand, for get the feelings more into the kiss feeling later on. I will try on the next date, to ask about her lips are as kiss-friendly as they seem to be then to get a better feeling if she wants to take a kiss or go home. When you're dating another PWD, the next problem comes up. It is that the wheels on the wheelchairs can be very much in the way of getting close to body, especially for those who can not lean us very much to any side. It's my experience.
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mux
New Member
Posts: 20
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by mux on Oct 8, 2018 13:44:10 GMT -5
I had some variations regarding "making the move"... it's quite easy, when things are obvious - like when you first had contact online and know, both want the same thing. I learned, that I can be confident about making this first step and just ask to kiss.
But normally that's not my style at all and I'm very shy about asking a girl for a kiss - especially because I fear being rejected. For me it's hard to flirt, so the eye contact situation only happened once. Normally it takes a long time and I have to be quite sure, before I ask for something like that. But I still feel as a male PWD, I have to make this step, because most female ABs are even more careful.
So almost every first kiss I had was kind of strange and never felt natural. I'm just wondering if PWDs have more problems regarding this "natural first kiss" than ABs or if it's just a matter of self-confidence.
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