Post by linda on Aug 6, 2019 0:19:46 GMT -5
Actually I think I somehow gave the wrong impression of my situation. It is not that I have so much issues with the media time, at least not when it comes to the 8 year old boys. They don’t have a mobile phone, at least not when they stay with me, since I strongly believe that children under age 11 should not have a phone. They have more access to media at their father‘s, which used to be hard in the beginning. But they have come to accept that things are different when they stay with me. They also barely ever watch tv, and when we do, it’s selected. There are wonderful serials and movies for children which you can find on the net. Like everything by Astrid Lindgren for example, Pippi Longstocking, or the old Czech serials which are just so fun, despite being really old fashion. I observed the children and noticed how this slow tempo of the old stuff has a better influence on them than all the action with noise, fast pictures and mostly subjects around fights and so on. The tv stuff from the past is oldfashioned but often deals more with actual situations in life than all the new stuff where it’s all about who is stronger, who wins.
It’s not that I totally keep them away from everything modern. But I believe that so many things that children are confronted with today in media are just not suitable for the nature of children. They become raw and get pulled into this steady game of „being better“, „achieving more“. But often in terms of very questionable goals. More killings, being the coolest and so on. There is nothing wrong with a healthy amount of concurrence. It’s natural and also part of human nature. Naturally twins always find themselves somehow in a situation being compared and competing with each other.
So when it comes to the younger children, the media is not such a big issue at home. I just wanted to point out how hard it has become to motivate them. Once they are out in the forest, they really enjoy it. But it takes so much effort to get them out.
My 13 year old boy is a totally different story. He spends hour and hours a day on his iPad playing Fortnite. I have talked this over 1000 times with him that there have to be certain limits. We have 2 hours a day, which I personally already find a lot. He seems very understanding once we talk. 5 minutes later everything is forgotten and I can’t stop him. Unfortunately, the only way to limit this is to take the device away, raindrop, it sounds great with these automatic limitations. I did something like that, but he somehow found a way around it. His iPad is from school, so it’s administered by school and I don’t have much influence on the setting. And actually he’s much better than me with it. I ask him for advice when I have computer problems myself... He broke his mobile phone and he says he’s fine without it. That’s easy to say as it’s summer vacation and he can stay home with the iPad all day. Let’s see how ok he will be when school starts...
Luckily enough he does have some other interests as well. He plays the guitar and love to paint and sketch. Now he does it with an apple pen, but it’s great. It’s not that I‘m condemning modern technology in general.
My main point is this, and there, mike, I’m afraid you are wrong about saying it’s just the same kind of problem every generation used to have, even though I wish you were right: This great overload of dealing with the media is a problem, since it totally absorbes us and keeps us away from the other things that are so important in life. Interaction with the people around, being in the nature, experiencing the own body. Especially for children, who‘s brain is developing, neuronal connections being shaped by the actions they are doing with their body or also by the impulses they are confronted with, this is so important. I heard this alarming number in radio two days ago: over 60% of all children graduating from elementary school (age 11 in Germany) can’t swim. There are other reasons for this too, such as public pools shutting down for economical reasons one after another. But still, that plays a role, too. Many children can’t walk backwards on a line, can’t turn cartwheels or other things.
The problem is not that there is media. The problem is the addictive character. And that exactly is intended. The amount of time spent on it in combination with the fact that it is an alienation from the genuine nature of human beings.
People live in their own bubble, in their comfort zone of likeminded people. They don’t interact with strangers on the street, just put in the earphone and stare on the mobile phone. Searching for affirmation by people with the own opinion and getting the impression that that would be reality. They are not open anymore for their surrounding in reality, the virtual reality often is all there is, moving around like zombies but not really being there. There is great diversity these days, all kind of groups. But all of them exist on their own, there is no exchange anymore between those groups and no need to, if it’s so much more comfortable to just stay among the own peers. I think that’s a scary development, and I think, especially parents need to be very aware and try to give their children also an awareness of the other life. Otherwise this is all getting lost.
I could go on for ages, luckily I can’t, I have to go to work. It’s good, otherwise you will take me for a maniac, coming back to PD after a short hiatus and then ranting on and on... It’s good to be back. Thank you for all your good advice and encouragement.
It’s not that I totally keep them away from everything modern. But I believe that so many things that children are confronted with today in media are just not suitable for the nature of children. They become raw and get pulled into this steady game of „being better“, „achieving more“. But often in terms of very questionable goals. More killings, being the coolest and so on. There is nothing wrong with a healthy amount of concurrence. It’s natural and also part of human nature. Naturally twins always find themselves somehow in a situation being compared and competing with each other.
So when it comes to the younger children, the media is not such a big issue at home. I just wanted to point out how hard it has become to motivate them. Once they are out in the forest, they really enjoy it. But it takes so much effort to get them out.
My 13 year old boy is a totally different story. He spends hour and hours a day on his iPad playing Fortnite. I have talked this over 1000 times with him that there have to be certain limits. We have 2 hours a day, which I personally already find a lot. He seems very understanding once we talk. 5 minutes later everything is forgotten and I can’t stop him. Unfortunately, the only way to limit this is to take the device away, raindrop, it sounds great with these automatic limitations. I did something like that, but he somehow found a way around it. His iPad is from school, so it’s administered by school and I don’t have much influence on the setting. And actually he’s much better than me with it. I ask him for advice when I have computer problems myself... He broke his mobile phone and he says he’s fine without it. That’s easy to say as it’s summer vacation and he can stay home with the iPad all day. Let’s see how ok he will be when school starts...
Luckily enough he does have some other interests as well. He plays the guitar and love to paint and sketch. Now he does it with an apple pen, but it’s great. It’s not that I‘m condemning modern technology in general.
My main point is this, and there, mike, I’m afraid you are wrong about saying it’s just the same kind of problem every generation used to have, even though I wish you were right: This great overload of dealing with the media is a problem, since it totally absorbes us and keeps us away from the other things that are so important in life. Interaction with the people around, being in the nature, experiencing the own body. Especially for children, who‘s brain is developing, neuronal connections being shaped by the actions they are doing with their body or also by the impulses they are confronted with, this is so important. I heard this alarming number in radio two days ago: over 60% of all children graduating from elementary school (age 11 in Germany) can’t swim. There are other reasons for this too, such as public pools shutting down for economical reasons one after another. But still, that plays a role, too. Many children can’t walk backwards on a line, can’t turn cartwheels or other things.
The problem is not that there is media. The problem is the addictive character. And that exactly is intended. The amount of time spent on it in combination with the fact that it is an alienation from the genuine nature of human beings.
People live in their own bubble, in their comfort zone of likeminded people. They don’t interact with strangers on the street, just put in the earphone and stare on the mobile phone. Searching for affirmation by people with the own opinion and getting the impression that that would be reality. They are not open anymore for their surrounding in reality, the virtual reality often is all there is, moving around like zombies but not really being there. There is great diversity these days, all kind of groups. But all of them exist on their own, there is no exchange anymore between those groups and no need to, if it’s so much more comfortable to just stay among the own peers. I think that’s a scary development, and I think, especially parents need to be very aware and try to give their children also an awareness of the other life. Otherwise this is all getting lost.
I could go on for ages, luckily I can’t, I have to go to work. It’s good, otherwise you will take me for a maniac, coming back to PD after a short hiatus and then ranting on and on... It’s good to be back. Thank you for all your good advice and encouragement.