loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 11, 2019 22:45:32 GMT -5
Hey! I know I keep on leaving and coming back but I hope this time I am back for a while! I am a 18 (in less than a month 19) gay devotee. I kinda still have trouble getting to accept my feeling even tho I've known about the feeling since I was extremely little. I have gone through multiple times where I searched for PWD and then stopped, then started looking again and so on. I hope I can make peace with my devoteism and finally accept myself fully.
This is why I would extremely appreciate any help you could provide me. At the same time, don't be scared to ask me anything or give me any advice since I need both.
Last thing I want to mention is that if what you read is hard to piece, it may be since English is not my native language. For that my apologies lmao.
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Post by devogirl on Aug 12, 2019 1:20:13 GMT -5
Welcome back. As a straight woman maybe I don’t have so much advice for you; hopefully the guys will chime in. But I will say, maybe you don’t want to hear it, but you are VERY young and you have so many experiences ahead of you that you can’t even imagine yet. It’s normal to feel impatient and hopeless at your age, but in your 20s you will have so many opportunities to meet people. Are you going to university? Go to a large city, if possible one that is gay friendly and accessible.
My other piece of advice for all devs is to make friends with PWDs without the intention of dating or hooking up. Don’t hesitate to reach out to PWDs who are not your preferred age, gender, etc. It will help you to relate to PWDs better as people, and also get you involved in social groups where you might eventually meet someone who is right for you.
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loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 12, 2019 1:34:41 GMT -5
Welcome back. As a straight woman maybe I don’t have so much advice for you; hopefully the guys will chime in. But I will say, maybe you don’t want to hear it, but you are VERY young and you have so many experiences ahead of you that you can’t even imagine yet. It’s normal to feel impatient and hopeless at your age, but in your 20s you will have so many opportunities to meet people. Are you going to university? Go to a large city, if possible one that is gay friendly and accessible. My other piece of advice for all devs is to make friends with PWDs without the intention of dating or hooking up. Don’t hesitate to reach out to PWDs who are not your preferred age, gender, etc. It will help you to relate to PWDs better as people, and also get you involved in social groups where you might eventually meet someone who is right for you. Hi devogirl, thanks for your quick reply! That is such a nice advice thank you so much! I know I do have lots of things ahead and I am trying to make friends with a few wheelchair guys studying at my same university and knowing they are straight I never even tried anything so that I hope is a nice start. I am also living in the second biggest city of my country and to the biggest and most popular college so I guess I just have to wait to find them. Where I was from I had little to no encounter with PWD even less people at least barely close to my age. But in this new city I am making slow but better progress of getting into the vibe. I also went to a LGBTQ+ club and it was awesome watching drag Queens for the first time! Thanks again devogirl! Please if you remember or think of any other tip you could give me, let me know. |
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Post by robbb on Aug 12, 2019 2:12:04 GMT -5
Welcome back from a fellow gay dev.
I would say devogirl has given you some great advice.
I sense that you are a little uneasy with your attraction to PWDs. I can only say that I believe our dev-ness is like our homosexuality, it is part of our genetics, part of who we are. There is nothing you can do to change either and I hope in time you will feel equally comfortable with both. I think most dev members here agree that getting involved here helps massively with that dev self-acceptance.
There is no magic spell to finding a para guy so as devogirl says, like anyone looking for the man of their dreams get involved wherever you think he might be. Have fun and good luck.
Drop me a private message if you want to chat.
R.
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Post by devogirl on Aug 12, 2019 2:12:11 GMT -5
Yes, that is a nice start! Just keep doing that. Also if there is a support office at your university for PWDs try to get involved as a volunteer. And look for disabled sports teams to also get involved as a volunteer. Many teams are affiliated with universities or hold their practice at university facilities even if the team members are not students. You will meet people eventually, it just takes time.
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loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 12, 2019 20:57:08 GMT -5
Welcome back from a fellow gay dev. I would say devogirl has given you some great advice. I sense that you are a little uneasy with your attraction to PWDs. I can only say that I believe our dev-ness is like our homosexuality, it is part of our genetics, part of who we are. There is nothing you can do to change either and I hope in time you will feel equally comfortable with both. I think most dev members here agree that getting involved here helps massively with that dev self-acceptance. There is no magic spell to finding a para guy so as devogirl says, like anyone looking for the man of their dreams get involved wherever you think he might be. Have fun and good luck. Drop me a private message if you want to chat. R. Hi! First of all, thanks so much for replaying and sorry for my late response. In my case I have known about my attraction for long but I do realize and recognize that I am not completely confortable with the idea. I am sure that it's not only in my country but maybe, just maybe, it's worse here the fact that people are not used to wheelchair people as normal options for dating, and "dating them for their disability" would be mad crazy (I want to clarify that I don't just like PWD only for their disability but I mean that people tend to see us devs that way). Regarding my sexuality, it was a big trip to go through so I guess it will be the same with my devness. I usually accept it but I do have my downfalls and tend to freak out. If anyone wants to clarify me anything my DMs are open to chat. |
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loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 12, 2019 20:57:36 GMT -5
Yes, that is a nice start! Just keep doing that. Also if there is a support office at your university for PWDs try to get involved as a volunteer. And look for disabled sports teams to also get involved as a volunteer. Many teams are affiliated with universities or hold their practice at university facilities even if the team members are not students. You will meet people eventually, it just takes time. That's so smart! I'll check it out! |
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Post by robbb on Aug 13, 2019 2:53:31 GMT -5
I am sure that it's not only in my country but maybe, just maybe, it's worse here the fact that people are not used to wheelchair people as normal options for dating I don't think you will find any country where that attitude is any different. Which country are you from? R. |
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loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 13, 2019 2:55:07 GMT -5
I am sure that it's not only in my country but maybe, just maybe, it's worse here the fact that people are not used to wheelchair people as normal options for dating I don't think you will find any country where that attitude is any different. Which country are you from? R. Argentina in Latin America |
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Post by robbb on Aug 13, 2019 3:07:09 GMT -5
That's interesting because it has always struck me on social media the disproportionate number of PWD guys there are in South America compared to the parts of the world, and most of those have wives/girlfriends/partners.
I wonder if you feel dating a PWD would be considered 'crazy' because you come from a small town.
Yes, if every guy you were ever seen with was a PWD I imagine people may wonder, but if you happen to love a PWD guy I'm not so sure it would be the big deal for others you think it would.
In my experience being a devotee is considered odd but actually having a PWD partner not quite so much.
R.
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loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 13, 2019 3:18:26 GMT -5
That's interesting because it has always struck me on social media the disproportionate number of PWD guys there are in South America compared to the parts of the world, and most of those have wives/girlfriends/partners. I wonder if you feel dating a PWD would be considered 'crazy' because you come from a small town. Yes, if every guy you were ever seen with was a PWD I imagine people may wonder, but if you happen to love a PWD guy I'm not so sure it would be the big deal for others you think it would. In my experience being a devotee is considered odd but actually having a PWD partner not quite so much. R. Wow that's actually some great insight! Tbh South America is am entire world of cultures and differences. In reality I think arentinians share more with Spain, France and Italy than let's say Colombia, or Cuba or any other Latin country. The reality of the really South countries as Uruguay, Argentina and Chile are worlds apart from the stereotypical "Latin" so maybe in the central and less southern South American countries (hope that doesn't just sound like a mess) the situation is different. I do come from a barely mid size city but now I have been living since January in the second biggest city of my country and the reality seems to be the same as back home just with a few more wheelchair guys wheeling around lol. I hope I am wrong but well, as we already said before I am super young still so I didn't have the chance to be with that many body abled guys beforehand lol. |
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Post by robbb on Aug 13, 2019 3:28:08 GMT -5
I think now you are in a big city the best advice I can give is relax, enjoy life, make friends, have fun and with devogirl's advice hopefully you will meet someone. As you say yourself you are young, not every guy you meet has to be a PWD but hopefully someone will wheel along one day.
R.
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loveparas
Full Member
Posts: 147
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by loveparas on Aug 13, 2019 3:30:55 GMT -5
I think now you are in a big city the best advice I can give is relax, enjoy life, make friends, have fun and with devogirl's advice hopefully you will meet someone. As you say yourself you are young, not every guy you meet has to be a PWD but hopefully someone will wheel along one day. R. You are absolutely right! And that's a great advice. I've been trying it and it works great, lets hope one day someone wheels by lmao. Thanks again! |
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