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Post by linda on Oct 20, 2019 10:52:48 GMT -5
Actually I just realize that I really need to come up with a good story sometime soon before people start to realize he‘s a pwd... 😂 Details, details, details... Or just the old standby "mutual friend" defense. The thing is that we come from so totally different worlds that it’s very unlikely we would have mutual friends. The people who know are all so surprised how we ended up together – the cool biker and the somewhat kind of a lady... 😂 Also running into each other by chance doesn’t work since we live so far away from each other. People from work know I have a new boyfriend who lives far away. They just don’t know he‘s a para. There will definitely be many questions when they get to see us for the first time. But since we have the problem with the stairs, we stay inside anyways when he comes. So still plenty of time to make up a story...
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Post by propheticstature on Oct 20, 2019 14:20:22 GMT -5
Shot in the back by a jealous husband while banging his wife is number 1. Number 2 is getting shot while spear fishing whilst getting attacked by a shark. That almost elicits gasps. My favourite was when I ran the nightclub one of the bouncers and I would go to see a new movie every Thursday. He went to grab tickets and said 'one for me and one for the veg' The young girl said 'I didn't know he was a Vet, Vet's get in free' my mate goes 'yeah, look at him, he got all shot up in the war' For the next three years that girl would always put me down as a gold class member, so free ticket, free drink, free popcorn and free choc top icecream. Yeah, I dunno if you've thought this one through... First off, the "big lie" I tell people about the reason I'm in a wheelchair isn't big at all. I tell a little lie--namely, that I fell out of a tree as a kid. This is because a lot of times, little kids ask me this in public, and I don't want to say I was shot. Also, it's my go-to thing to say when drunk people and/or people who just rub me the wrong way ask me what the reason is. The falling-of-a-tree thing is great, because once you say that, all other questions stop. You don't wanna say you were shot, trust me. The questions never end. And as a pretty honest person with an unbelievable tale that I've told a million times by now, I'll just reflexively answer the questions as they come. The next thing I know I'm 45 minutes late to where I'm supposed to be. You're better off with the tree.
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Oct 20, 2019 16:01:30 GMT -5
I will tell you one of the worst ones me and my friend made up (hes non disabled) I told this girl at a festival that me and my friend went to Syria as UN soldiers and that i got shrapnel from an anti tank mine in my spine. I cooked up an entire storyline that could have been straight out of a war movie. My friend went along with it of course and started to act really sad as well. He added, "I do not talk much about it, we lost a lot of good men that day" This poor girl totally fell for it and was absolutely GLUED to me all night and onto the next morning. Her guy friends did not approve much of me and gave me the stink eye for stealing her away from them. Others include being trampled by a horse, getting stabbed, and i told this one guy in the philippines that i had been cursed by an evil witch. I have absolutely no problem talking about my disability but when you have know me for approximately 20 seconds, and thats the first thing you ask me, expect to get trolled. You are quite the player, HottRodd.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2019 17:28:19 GMT -5
Maybe this is weird but I'm not into the "telling lies" on how you got hurt and ended up in a chair...is it an issue to just tell the truth? I don't know, something about it throws me off.
Also, why would a AB/PWD couple lie on how they met? If the dev thing is an issue, yeah, you could say something like "we met online", don't have to be specific that it was a disabiltiy dating site or anything if there is concern about the dev thing being outed.
Also, like for example I feel it's a bit strange to lie and say something about having been injured in war or something, it seems like an insult to veterans who have actually gotten hurt in combat or wars...maybe I'm just sensitive in that matter because I have been around military for so long.
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Lies
Oct 20, 2019 19:05:38 GMT -5
sy likes this
Post by Sova on Oct 20, 2019 19:05:38 GMT -5
Maybe this is weird but I'm not into the "telling lies" on how you got hurt and ended up in a chair...is it an issue to just tell the truth? I don't know, something about it throws me off. Also, why would a AB/PWD couple lie on how they met? If the dev thing is an issue, yeah, you could say something like "we met online", don't have to be specific that it was a disabiltiy dating site or anything if there is concern about the dev thing being outed. Also, like for example I feel it's a bit strange to lie and say something about having been injured in war or something, it seems like an insult to veterans who have actually gotten hurt in combat or wars...maybe I'm just sensitive in that matter because I have been around military for so long. Ah well, you know, Dani, as humans A) we’re born and B) we die. I know it’s weird, but in between, some of us sometimes do things that make us open our mouths and exclaim some strange ‘HA’ noises. It makes the transition from A to B just a little smoother.
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Oct 20, 2019 19:29:52 GMT -5
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Post by devogirl on Oct 20, 2019 21:48:57 GMT -5
Dani, just look at what propheticstature wrote to see one reason why people might lie. When the person asking has some sort of relationship to you, then yes, tell the truth. But what people are talking about in this thread is the constant bombardment of questions by random strangers, often at the most inconvenient moments. It’s none of their business why the stranger in a passing encounter needs to use a wheelchair, but many people treat the bodies of disabled people as public property so they will shamelessly ask the most intrusive questions. What they don’t realize is that saying “What happened to you?” can sometimes mean asking a random stranger to repeat the story of the most traumatic moment in their life. Or it might be a genetic condition the person has never heard of, then they feel invited to tell you a long story about how their aunt has gout in her toe and blah blah blah. For the person asking the question, it’s a one-off encounter but for the PWD it’s an endless stream of rudeness and invasion of privacy. So yeah, those people deserve to be trolled or told none of your damn business.
Lying about being in the military is a different issue though. I understand why a lot of veterans get upset about that. The best lies in this situation IMHO are the ones that are obviously ridiculous as it treats the person asking with the seriousness they deserve.
Oh and just to tie the two current threads together, as I recall, it was when a street preacher was telling my ex that he could be healed through the power of prayer that my ex was like “I went blind from masturbating, so will God still heal me?”
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Lies
Oct 20, 2019 22:04:33 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2019 22:04:33 GMT -5
I guess it's beyond my comprehension and I am literally baffled that there are people who are just that ignorant and disrespectful toward PWD, but then who am I to say, I don't know. I guess I feel a little bit like that being German in the US and having to answer dumb questions. It really depends on the person and the circumstance of the encounter with someone who asks questions. I sometimes try to educate though instead of make fun of ignorance, but then again, sometimes it doesn't lead to anything. I just read through all those replies and what "lies" people tell and I guess I have a difficult time because I am a dev who is actually interested in the truth about why a person is in a wheelchair and don't want to hear some "lie"... The part about telling "lies" about why a disability occured clashes with my being a dev...maybe that's what it is. And to touch on Sova comment to me, I didn't care for it very much. I am very much up for all kinds of "HA" noises as you so stated but I guess my humour is different and yes, I'm very well aware that we're born and we die...
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Post by SouthernCalGal on Oct 20, 2019 23:32:38 GMT -5
I don’t understand why someone couldn’t say the following:
- “None of your business.” - “Get to know me better before asking.” - “Isn’t it a little early on to ask such a personal question?” - “Ask me when we’re naked.”
There are a lot of ways to not tell without having to lie whether you know the person or not. Lying 🤥 is not cool. There are so many other authentic ways to communicate to get your meaning across to someone than telling a lie. One lie, two lies, hey-one more, why not? Then more...and before you know it, you don’t know what the truth is anymore. 😢
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HottRodd
Junior Member
Posts: 65
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
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Post by HottRodd on Oct 21, 2019 1:02:09 GMT -5
Maybe this is weird but I'm not into the "telling lies" on how you got hurt and ended up in a chair...is it an issue to just tell the truth? I don't know, something about it throws me off. Also, why would a AB/PWD couple lie on how they met? If the dev thing is an issue, yeah, you could say something like "we met online", don't have to be specific that it was a disabiltiy dating site or anything if there is concern about the dev thing being outed. Also, like for example I feel it's a bit strange to lie and say something about having been injured in war or something, it seems like an insult to veterans who have actually gotten hurt in combat or wars...maybe I'm just sensitive in that matter because I have been around military for so long. Its not an issue at all for most of us really...but when you have been asked the question 10000000x times in your life, in various polite forms, sometimes you just get sick of it.
We are just people and people have different moods. Sometimes we just like to have a bit of fun, sometimes we get tired of explaining our most personal and often tragic life story to random stranger number 5000 who just asked whats wrong with you.
Its not meant to be an insult to people who have been in the military all. Why would it? I have a friend who lost both his legs in Yugoslavia in the 90s, he is one of the guys i respect the most. He would not mind me telling a fantasy story to a rude stranger. Maybe its different for other people.
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Lies
Oct 21, 2019 8:03:57 GMT -5
via mobile
Sova likes this
Post by sy on Oct 21, 2019 8:03:57 GMT -5
It's like on this forum when people ask "what is a Dev" most devs hate this question as they have explained it hundreds of times. Now imagine being asked this question in real life at least three times a week, it begins to get repetitive so you eventually decide to have fun with your answers.
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Deleted
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Lies
Oct 21, 2019 11:33:11 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2019 11:33:11 GMT -5
You have a point there sy but my question really is I guess how often do PWD actually get asked by a random stranger why they are in a chair? And when they do get asked under what circumstances and what kind of person asks? Like if it's a girl at the bar, or in dating situation like sova's convo, or a child or just a friendly stranger who you may end up in a conversation with, why is it a problem to actually tell the truth without making a big deal about it. I feel the same about the dev question, it really depends on how it is asked and by whom if I feel like taking the time to answer or if I would just ignore the question or answer in a certain way. And the majority of times the question gets asked in a normal way, then I'm willing to answer, maybe in a short version but being a dev is also a bit more extensive to explain than a factual explanantion why someone is in a chair. Idk, for some reason it just seems odd to me because as a dev I would actually be seriously interested in the truth not a lie...maybe that's where it throws me off..
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Lies
Oct 21, 2019 11:53:42 GMT -5
Post by Nate on Oct 21, 2019 11:53:42 GMT -5
You have a point there sy but my question really is I guess how often do PWD actually get asked by a random stranger why they are in a chair? And when they do get asked under what circumstances and what kind of person asks? Like if it's a girl at the bar, or in dating situation like sova's convo, or a child or just a friendly stranger who you may end up in a conversation with, why is it a problem to actually tell the truth without making a big deal about it. I feel the same about the dev question, it really depends on how it is asked and by whom if I feel like taking the time to answer or if I would just ignore the question or answer in a certain way. And the majority of times the question gets asked in a normal way, then I'm willing to answer, maybe in a short version but being a dev is also a bit more extensive to explain than a factual explanantion why someone is in a chair. Idk, for some reason it just seems odd to me because as a dev I would actually be seriously interested in the truth not a lie...maybe that's where it throws me off.. I honestly can't remember the last time I was asked. Then again, I'm in New York; strangers are more liable to yell or curse at me for no particular reason than want to stop and chat about my disability. (And as I said in linda's thread several weeks ago, I would welcome the stop-and-chat.)
(Come to think of it, I would -- and do -- welcome both things. )
But yah, I'm also kind of curious as to where people are or what they're doing when randos come up and start firing off questions. Maybe I don't get out enough, but it just doesn't really happen with me these days.
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Lies
Oct 21, 2019 13:23:17 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by sy on Oct 21, 2019 13:23:17 GMT -5
Happens during Uber rides or at the gym but mainly after an open mic for me. It's usually not the first question they ask it's usually sprinkled in after some small talk.
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Deleted
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Lies
Oct 21, 2019 14:08:08 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2019 14:08:08 GMT -5
Happens during Uber rides or at the gym but mainly after an open mic for me. It's usually not the first question they ask it's usually sprinkled in after some small talk. But isn't that expected and also normal that people would like to know? As in Uber rides, I don't like small talk very much and I avoid it by staying distant and cool in certain situations, so there... When I am up for small talk, I am a friendly person though
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