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Post by MarineAmp on Nov 6, 2019 18:44:41 GMT -5
I can't say I am nearly the illusion master that Oz was, just trying to be clever.
Due to "life's events" that I won't air out in public, I have decided it is best to come out of the shadows. Emma and I have been separated for over a year now, we are open to date others now as well. Because of our current situation I am not looking for anything serious, but having someone to chat with would help with the current circumstance I am now in.
I hope this doesn't sound overly callous, I feel if I keep reading it again and again it will never get posted, and I just feel like it needs to happen.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2019 19:06:18 GMT -5
Sending you good wishes and strength to move forward. Life has a way of throwing curve balls, but they always lead in directions we didn’t expect. Good luck x
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2019 19:54:15 GMT -5
Sorry to hear but wishing you guys lots of strength.
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Post by blueskye101 on Nov 6, 2019 23:20:49 GMT -5
I wondered since I saw that your status had changed awhile back. It’s never easy to make those decisions and I think it’s extremely hard to have long time relationships anymore. Not sure of all the reasons this is but see with my kids. All my best for both of you.
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Post by robbb on Nov 7, 2019 0:44:10 GMT -5
Sending you both love and luck for whatever comes next.
R.
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Nov 7, 2019 1:14:03 GMT -5
I’m sorry to hear about this. I hope everything turns out the best way possible for you two and your family.
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Post by Emma on Nov 7, 2019 1:34:11 GMT -5
Oh boy.
I am not a fan of the big public relationship announcements on PD yet here I am in the center of one without my consent. Anyone who is close with me already knew what was going on long ago. I didn't feel the need to make a big "I'm single announcement" because I don't spend my time here looking for a date, I am here for other reasons. I know you will all enjoy the gossip for a few minutes but hope that we can get back to sharing our experiences as devs and disabed guys without being too distracted by this attempt at finding a hook up.
For those who responded with your well wishes, thank you.
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Post by devogirl on Nov 7, 2019 3:37:56 GMT -5
Dude, you really didn't think this through. What exactly are you trying to accomplish here? It sounds like you're saying, "Hey ladies, I'm separating from my wife who is a frequent poster here--hit me up!" There's nothing wrong with trying to meet someone new but this is a stunningly callous way to do it. At the very least, the compassionate, respectful thing would be to discuss it with her in person before posting this.
Also, you can meet women literally anywhere else. And it doesn't have to be dev women either. Why would you want to come to the one place where your estranged wife has an active social presence? As we are always saying, this isn't a dating site, and doesn't work very well for that purpose. You two didn't even meet here. If you want to find someone to talk about divorce, or disability issues, or find a sympathetic ear, there are so many other places to do that.
It's an unfortunate fact that after a breakup it's not always possible to maintain the same social groups, even without assigning blame to either partner. Some friend groups have to be divided up. You might consider letting her have this space as a sign of respect and goodwill.
I feel if I keep reading it again and again it will never get posted
This is the voice of your better judgment, and a sign that it would be better to talk it over with someone (preferably Emma, but really anyone who can give a second opinion) before posting.
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Post by missparkle on Nov 7, 2019 4:39:28 GMT -5
I am truly sorry for two of you. I believe it always breaks a teeny tiny piece of heart of all of us here. 🙁 People need fairytales and happy endings to believe in.
And I believe there is one, for each of you.
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Post by Mets on Nov 7, 2019 15:44:41 GMT -5
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Post by MarineAmp on Nov 7, 2019 23:40:06 GMT -5
I realize there is a taboo about hanging out or god forbid even dating in the same crowd as an ex. I just was listening to some Dan Savage the other day and someone called in asking about the need to tell a friend that she had hooked up one night with an ex of her's from college. I was thinking to myself, hell no, she'll be pissed. Dan however brought up an interesting point, this problem only exists in straight people land where there is a plethora of other straight people groups that are all generally attracted to the same shit. He then said in "Gay Land" this moral problem doesn't exist. The dating pool is so limited that everyone is dating everyone. I would argue that the female dev/disabled male ratio is even smaller. If I could edit what Dan said I would say this problem should only exist in "straight able-bodied land."
If there is some other place where female devs congregate that isn't wheeler connect, (which I have given up in the dev forum custody battle) please let me know. I am capable of conducting myself in a mature non-offensive manner, at least in regards to potentially touchy relationship topoics. If you are on team Emma, by all means honor your side in whatever way you want. I realize that no one is really on my team, because I have been the married guy that was off limits, don't really post anything anymore and now I may just seem like a cold hearted prick.
If it puts you guys at ease, I am already currently dating someone. I am not solely on here for finding a female dev, I am pretty sure I would be the first one to tell you that being a devotee doesn't automatically make you a match for whomever you are attracted to, but it doesn't hurt.
I know this isn't a dating site, but just the nature of the forum and whatever two consenting adults agree to, kind of makes this dating site from time to time. I would like to message with some other people that have been/going through similar circumstances, or ignore me, that is your choice.
Oh and Steve, can you just picture a meme of "The Dude" saying "like, that's just your opinion Man."
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Post by dolly on Nov 8, 2019 2:59:05 GMT -5
I feel if I keep reading it again and again it will never get posted This is the voice of your better judgment, and a sign that it would be better to talk it over with someone (preferably Emma, but really anyone who can give a second opinion) before posting.
I had that same thought. |
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Post by feelsunshine on Nov 8, 2019 12:01:40 GMT -5
I wasn't here when the two came together and I just now heard that they've apparently been in a relationship. People are together and people separate, thats how life happens. Sure it would have been nice if he had informed her about his plans to let the community know about the separation but still - is ist that big of a deal? And I don't mind him stating that he's willing to find a new girl.
Let's let life move on. All the best to both of you!
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