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Post by someonerandom on Dec 15, 2022 19:29:19 GMT -5
I was living on myself when I found my partner and my parents were thrilled when I introduced her to them. My sister, on the other hand, thought my partner was only after my disability money. However, she came around eventually. After your disability money?? Lol they must do things nicer in Belgium; over here I’d sooner slip into bed with a McDonald’s employee if all I wanted was money.
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Post by Julia on Dec 22, 2022 10:50:46 GMT -5
After my family found out about the 2nd wheeler I explained I had a thing for PWDs. My siblings were like that's dope (they both are big into BDSM so this is nothing out of the box lmao). My mom has the biggest issue with it as she is one of those omg look how inspirational they are people when seeing PWDs. She even makes that sound when she sees one in public like omg how horrible it must be to be them.
She thinks I'm into it because I have terrible self confidence and don't believe I can be with "normal" guys. Well she knows I've dated AB guys in the past and I've always broken it off so obviously I know AB guys would want me. She has even told me she doesn't want me with guys that will limit my happiness because they can't do everything AB guys could. I almost smacked her in the face I was so pissed. I just walked out of the room before I got angry.
Now with my current pwd dude, we've been together for 2.5 years and while he isn't "as disabled" as guys I've been with in the past, for the last year he has been having a lot of pain issues. So my mom thinks I'm unhappy because I dont do things on the weekend like I used to. She also doesnt understand my video game addiction so idc if I'm home all weekend. She still accepts him thank God. Otherwise if she didn't, I would cut her out of my life.
From his side of things, he straight up told his family I was into pwds after we started talking and I was mortified. I was worried they were going to hate me and think I was a pervert but thankfully they don't care and never brought it up.
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serendipity
New Member
Posts: 10
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by serendipity on Dec 26, 2022 6:16:13 GMT -5
I think back to some of the situations that devogirl has written about. 😂 So true! In my case, I was dating assholes with like a million red flags AND ALSO my parents were horribly, unreasonably prejudiced against all PWDs. Everybody loses! My friends were much better at explaining why I was making terrible mistakes that had nothing to do with the disability, and urging me to find some other PWD. But did I listen? nooooo..... Anyway it's important to have friends who can give you this good, honest feedback. In my experience, all my friends were ok with the concept of devotees, but I tend to be around open-minded, unconventional types. Really enjoying this thread & learning a lot! I haven’t had any PWD relationships yet (though pursuing one might make an appearance on my 2023 resolutions list) — but couldn’t agree more that close friends can be a great litmus test for the health and compatibility of your romantic relationships. Friends can be a great test case for “coming out” as a dev as well. I would also add that as a first gen Asian immigrant, my parents definitely lean small c conservative, and have expressed disapproval of several past partners for various reasons (gender nonconforming, employment choices, etc). I’ve sort of “trained” them to become more accepting by revealing small amounts of descriptive information at a time, and framing everything in a positive light (wow they’ve taught me a lot about XX, or their part time job allows them to support me in XX ways! I mean this gently and kindly, but it seems to me that it might be too early for OP to worry about acceptance of a PWD relationship that hasn’t yet materialized. From my own regrets, would caution against letting those concerns influence your ability to acknowledge and be present in your own desires to seek out such relationships (ie cross that bridge when you get there!).
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2022 13:50:00 GMT -5
I am dating a PWD rn (high-functioning quad, VERY high-functioning) who lives on his own. Considering I'm not in the same country my mom is at ( and she can be really, really, really ignorant), I haven't told her yet about the "wheelchair thing" (as she'd call it). I don't know how she'd react on it and I don't want to make her superb-over-protective and nervous about me in the moment when I can avoid so (she's not too safe herself and adding stress to her is not the best thing imho). She knows I'm dating a man, tho, and she even met him via videochat and liked him. She absolutely accepts him, because she can see the wide smile on my face and that we care about each other deeply. So, probably, soon the time'll come to have the hands on the table however the reaction turns out. Personally I don't really care what she'd say, but I don't want to add stress nor to her nor to my wonderful, caring, adorable partner.
My friends who are here with me are lovely and absolutely friendly and understanding both to my attraction and to the guy I'm dating. They have a great bond now, and I'm happy about it.
His family and friends are mostly happy he dates someone who's accepting him the way he is, even if few of them were a bit conscious because I came out of the blue.
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