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Post by Sir Paul on Feb 6, 2023 21:04:20 GMT -5
So, I got shot down again tonight on a dating app. I am used to rejection so that part doesn’t bother me, I reject people all the time. The part that stings is that it was solely because of my disability. I wish it was because of my shitty personality or bad haircut or something that I can potentially change or improve upon. But of course it’s the one thing about me that I can do nothing about. So yeah, it still stings. Stay strong, brother. Putting yourself out there puts your feelings at risk, but it is without a doubt a brave thing to do. This negative reaction has happened to me as well and I agree, it doesn't feel good. Regardless of the repercussions to my ego, I still have a presence on some dating sites. I think we can at least encourage kismet and I will always keep the door open to finding love.
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vvulfie
Junior Member
Posts: 56
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by vvulfie on Feb 7, 2023 1:00:51 GMT -5
big question who liked/messaged who? In case it applies the basic rule is let the other party initiate. its the first and easiest way to filter out those who dont mean shit Lol, you wait for women to make the first move you will be single for a long time. i dont disagree but to depend on women to boldly ford the disability river seems a little far fetched as well. Be yourself and proud.
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writerg
Junior Member
Posts: 67
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by writerg on Feb 7, 2023 8:48:25 GMT -5
Lol, you wait for women to make the first move you will be single for a long time. i don't disagree but to depend on women to boldly ford the disability river seems a little far fetched as well. Be yourself and proud. In dating, there is really not a scenario that excludes the risk of disappointment. If you make the first move, you will get accepted or maybe rejected. If you wait for someone to make a move, you might be disappointed that it takes a while for that to happen.
I don't see the idea of disabled men dating disabled women brought up often. That has risk for disappointment in many ways too.
My point is that if you are disabled and looking for some easy route in the dating/relationship game, it does not exist.
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Figur
New Member
"I've led a life full of shame."
Posts: 14
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by Figur on Feb 7, 2023 16:44:28 GMT -5
It sucks. I’d rather just get ghosted since my interpretation of that is usually more charitable than assuming flat-out ableism. I’m sure it’s the case more often than I think! I would agree but sadly most times there's ghosting involved the reason is pretty obvious...
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Post by cilantro on Feb 8, 2023 2:07:08 GMT -5
I think generally, people are coming to the group realization that dating apps were all invented by the devil to make dating even worse. At least here in the city, things like speed dating seem to be coming back into fashion. I'm planning on trying it out whenever I build up the courage, I really can't stand the apps.
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vvulfie
Junior Member
Posts: 56
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by vvulfie on Feb 8, 2023 15:28:53 GMT -5
i don't disagree but to depend on women to boldly ford the disability river seems a little far fetched as well. Be yourself and proud. In dating, there is really not a scenario that excludes the risk of disappointment. If you make the first move, you will get accepted or maybe rejected. If you wait for someone to make a move, you might be disappointed that it takes a while for that to happen.
I don't see the idea of disabled men dating disabled women brought up often. That has risk for disappointment in many ways too.
My point is that if you are disabled and looking for some easy route in the dating/relationship game, it does not exist.
im with you there. i didnt mean to sound like there's some easy answer but i understand if i miscommunicated. i think maybe something im trying to get at is that while there's no easy way out, *aTtiTuDe is eVveryThing*. nothing new here.
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Post by ayla on Feb 8, 2023 16:01:45 GMT -5
I think generally, people are coming to the group realization that dating apps were all invented by the devil to make dating even worse. At least here in the city, things like speed dating seem to be coming back into fashion. I'm planning on trying it out whenever I build up the courage, I really can't stand the apps. I keep thinking that professional matchmakers could be a more humane option. A buffer between the overtures and the rejections. Plus, for those of us looking for — ahem — something very particular, it could remove some of the hopelessness of sifting through so many nonstarters. Maybe a second career for me 🤔
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Post by ichbin on Feb 8, 2023 16:41:02 GMT -5
ayla.... Exactly what I was thinking. I really consider starting that business
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Post by someonerandom on Feb 8, 2023 16:44:14 GMT -5
I like online dating, but I don’t know if it makes things better. I think it may exacerbate some divides of people who have matches and people who don’t. So that’s bad, but also it’s kind of good that you have access to so many people, which gives more chances to find a good match. Not to mention there are stats and information on profiles you can use to save time. So I don’t have to have dinner with someone just to find out they think Covid is fake and drag queens are rapin everybody out here.
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Post by atlwheelin on Feb 9, 2023 3:08:27 GMT -5
Watch me shoot my shot last night
Me: I've never been one to do this type of thing, but after two near death experiences life is just too short not to be real. I completely understand the feeling isn't mutual, but I've had a huge crush on you since middle school. Your personality, humor, just in the way you carry yourself. You didn't try to be someone in the in crowd that you weren't just so you would be, and I always admired that about you. There was a night you came down to my dorm to show me your formal. You didn't walk in, you just glowed in the moonlight. I'll never forget that beautiful scene.
Anywho 😂
Them: Tony!!! God knows I love you and always have! Ever since those faithful days in middle school band. I hated when you left me freshman year because they opened Hiram but I loved seeing you when we would run into each other at games or Paulding Exhibition. I was so happy when we reconnected at UWG. I loved our lunch and dinner dates, taking the sidewalks from Tyus to the Z.
I appreciate the honesty and courage you found tonight to tell me after almost 28 years (we are old btw)!!!
I admire you, I always have and I always will and I just hate it’s not the same way you admire me.
End convo
Courage? Courage? What, do I get a rub on the head and a treat?
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Post by loveonaroll2 on Feb 11, 2023 1:33:38 GMT -5
Nick i’m so sorry I definitely know the feeling in my whole dating history I’ve never dated someone off dating apps I’ve been off and on over the years i’m on bumble tinder and most recently hinge That is how someone I know Met his fiancé and he is in a wheelchair and has Cp I have gotten match’s But they have gone nowhere girls have asked me for money a lot online i’ve gotten matches on tinder but they have not responded same with bumble if you want to meet girls online I think they’re better places than dating apps it’s unfortunate that people are judged based on their physical appearance however I’ve always wanted to launch my own dating app for loveonaroll so you never know maybe you can enjoy mine if I get it off the ground for now hopefully my podcast can help you and also focus on loving yourself and being your own best friend self love is so important because If you don’t Love yourself who will ? Date yourself too Best buddies is a great organization to meet people they have an online program a lot of girls there also nursing students special education majors just keep meeting people don’t give up! Also as hard as it is just know you don’t need to be dating someone to be happy or having sex to be happy there are lots of ways to be happy other than that you can only control what you can control and you can’t spend your energy worried about things you can’t Control it sucks I know i’m talking to myself as much as I am you . I’m here if you need me brother
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Post by loveonaroll2 on Feb 11, 2023 1:36:00 GMT -5
Nick i’m so sorry I definitely know the feeling in my whole dating history I’ve never dated someone off dating apps I’ve been off and on over the years i’m on bumble tinder and most recently hinge That is how someone I know Met his fiancé and he is in a wheelchair and has Cp I have gotten match’s But they have gone nowhere girls have asked me for money a lot online i’ve gotten matches on tinder but they have not responded same with bumble if you want to meet girls online I think they’re better places than dating apps it’s unfortunate that people are judged based on their physical appearance however I’ve always wanted to launch my own dating app for loveonaroll so you never know maybe you can enjoy mine if I get it off the ground for now hopefully my podcast can help you and also focus on loving yourself and being your own best friend self love is so important because If you don’t Love yourself who will ? Date yourself too Best buddies is a great organization to meet people they have an online program a lot of girls there also nursing students special education majors just keep meeting people don’t give up! Also as hard as it is just know you don’t need to be dating someone to be happy or having sex to be happy there are lots of ways to be happy other than that you can only control what you can control and you can’t spend your energy worried about things you can’t Control it sucks I know i’m talking to myself as much as I am you . I’m here if you need me brother
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OtterlyCuddly
New Member
decent guy in South Cali looking for a wheeler guy to connect
Posts: 14
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by OtterlyCuddly on Mar 29, 2023 11:18:33 GMT -5
So, I got shot down again tonight on a dating app. I am used to rejection so that part doesn’t bother me, I reject people all the time. The part that stings is that it was solely because of my disability. I wish it was because of my shitty personality or bad haircut or something that I can potentially change or improve upon. But of course it’s the one thing about me that I can do nothing about. So yeah, it still stings. I am sorry to hear that Nick. It sure hurts, yet no more wasting time on someone that doesn't deserve a nice guy such as yoursef. btw, just be you. Even if it's something you can change, unless it's for the better, don't just change solely for someone else's desire. Bear Hugs, and who's the lucky lucky charm will you swipe right on and get to meet in person?
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Post by Quad787 on Mar 29, 2023 11:29:39 GMT -5
So, I got shot down again tonight on a dating app. I am used to rejection so that part doesn’t bother me, I reject people all the time. The part that stings is that it was solely because of my disability. I wish it was because of my shitty personality or bad haircut or something that I can potentially change or improve upon. But of course it’s the one thing about me that I can do nothing about. So yeah, it still stings. I feel your pain, brother. Dating is a humbling experience, at least for me. Best of luck.
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mellowcanuck
New Member
Posts: 41
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by mellowcanuck on Apr 8, 2023 22:17:12 GMT -5
Fuck yeah it still stings. You are getting rejected for the one thing you can't change. Its a fight you lose before you even drag yourself under the bottom rope. If you get used to it? You're shit has calloused over.
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