Bdsm fantasies

[matthew91]

Hello everyone, I hope the topic I would like to discuss here is allowed in the forum.

Before having the accident and becoming paraplegic, I was pretty much into plain vanilla sex, that was absolutely satisfying. 
After a few years since becoming paraplegic, and finally having accepted my condition as more or less stable, I am very much trying to improve my sex life as much as possible. That's a key part of life, although very often underrated.
I would really like to try some domination/submission activity, as I figured out the psychology is key now when it comes to experiencing pleasure and...there is something very thrilling about that. 
I think it could be a twist in my daily life, or at least something that needs to be tried for sure.
Does anybody (both devotees and pwds) have any experience with this? Regular girls are normally not particularly open to trying this, on top of usual dating difficulties stemming from the disability...
Do you have any recommendation for searching a bdsm partner (women only in my case)? I do not want to pay for any reason, that takes away all the pleasure.
Of course if there is any woman interested in this in the forum, please message me and I will be very happy to discuss, get to know each other better and see if we can be the answer to each other's fantasies. 

[stevee]

I totally get this. Before my MS I was very young, and vanilla. Then I got into a branch of BDSM called ABDL, first as a coping mechanism, and stayed with it because it worked for me and the people were interesting.

FetLife would be a good site for you to check out. Tons of kink related stuff there. Here it’s a narrow interest within a narrow interest, so your luck might not be so good.

[Dani]

I also recommend checking out Fetlife to explore this further.
Btw, women who are into BDSM are also normal women, so I would not say that "regular" girls are not particularly into trying different things.
Exploring what makes us tick and the things that are exciting and a turn on is a journey.
The kink community is colorful and diverse. People who are kinky or have certain fetishes may have very regular and ordinary daily lives. 
Just because a girl seems regular doesn't mean she may not have any adventurous, kinky and erotic interests.

[justnick]

I once had a girl that wanted to tie me up. I told her that it would be redundant.

[PacMan]

Dec 31, 2023 0:27:36 GMT -5 Dani said:

I also recommend checking out Fetlife to explore this further.
Btw, women who are into BDSM are also normal women, so I would not say that "regular" girls are not particularly into trying different things.
Exploring what makes us tick and the things that are exciting and a turn on is a journey.
The kink community is colorful and diverse. People who are kinky or have certain fetishes may have very regular and ordinary daily lives. 
Just because a girl seems regular doesn't mean she may not have any adventurous, kinky and erotic interests.

Been on Fet for many years now myself and as to be expected far too many PWD and not enough Devs in those types of groups.

Honestly if you join most of the PWD groups on Fet you’ll hear the same story over and over and over, full of PWD and not enough of able bodied interested in playing with PWD’s.

Like most online sites whether it be Kink or just your plain old dating sites if you’re disabled the odds really are stacked against you if you’re looking to hook-up with someone I’m afraid.

Its very disheartening. 😞

[not THAT violet]

I have a friend who seems to cover all the bases. He’s a PWD *and* a dev! A congenital amputee *and* a musculoskeletal condition! Sometimes he likes being more submissive, or at least “needing help” from a partner; sometimes he likes knowing he’s the one who makes his partner feel sweet and subby.

It’s all in whom you’re with and what you’re feeling in that moment. Either way, it’s about control, but you can use it so many different ways.

Just think about what’s important to you and makes you feel good as a person, whether that’s as a para or a dom or a “regular” guy or a sub. Or a switch, or someone who likes to dom gently or top from the bottom.

I like FetLife and can’t find enough new excitement 😁 Always the same! So, uh, yeah, there are definitely devs like me on there who are looking for fun and at least interested in exploring 😁

[celkan]

Dec 31, 2023 2:00:43 GMT -5 justnick said:

I once had a girl that wanted to tie me up. I told her that it would be redundant.

Hahaha !  I had almost the same interaction.  I was like "fuck that, I don't feel much already.   I wont be tied and blinfolded and strip me of my fun."

Héhé.  But I guess we only get some things by living it ourselves.

[celkan]

Dec 30, 2023 5:15:31 GMT -5 matthew91 said:

Hello everyone, I hope the topic I would like to discuss here is allowed in the forum.

Before having the accident and becoming paraplegic, I was pretty much into plain vanilla sex, that was absolutely satisfying. 
After a few years since becoming paraplegic, and finally having accepted my condition as more or less stable, I am very much trying to improve my sex life as much as possible. That's a key part of life, although very often underrated.
I would really like to try some domination/submission activity, as I figured out the psychology is key now when it comes to experiencing pleasure and...there is something very thrilling about that. 
I think it could be a twist in my daily life, or at least something that needs to be tried for sure.
Does anybody (both devotees and pwds) have any experience with this? Regular girls are normally not particularly open to trying this, on top of usual dating difficulties stemming from the disability...
Do you have any recommendation for searching a bdsm partner (women only in my case)? I do not want to pay for any reason, that takes away all the pleasure.
Of course if there is any woman interested in this in the forum, please message me and I will be very happy to discuss, get to know each other better and see if we can be the answer to each other's fantasies. 

Hi Mattew91,

I think it depend what kind of dom/sub intensity you are looking for and how old your partner is. In my experience, a lot of women are open to the idea or just practice soft bdsm. I have not been with more mature women however and it might be just youth phase for most. But I am pretty sure it is easier to find a submissive woman than one attracted to handicapped men…

I never met a woman on fetlife and they are swarmed by messages from men. So you can try there but I don’t think it works. You have more chances by going to local bdsm event.

It is interesting to know your sex fantasies changed with disability. I also felt the same thing when I was forced to use a wheelchair.

Good luck with your research man !

[hotwheelzzz9890]

Dec 31, 2023 2:00:43 GMT -5 justnick said:

I once had a girl that wanted to tie me up. I told her that it would be redundant.

Hilarious! Me too.

[scottishgaydevotee]

It was/is a really fun and open guy in a wheelchair who let me tie him to his chair that got me into the dev scene. There is also some stuff online about bdsm being a mechanism for people in chronic pain to assert some control over choosing types of sensation and pain, as opposed to it being always something they have no control of for obvious reasons.

[Julia]

I've tied some wheelers up. Consenting of course. I even learned how to tie my hands together and untie them. I think most women are open to it as long as it's not I need to be tied up every time

[swirlsss]

Dec 30, 2023 5:15:31 GMT -5 matthew91 said:

Hello everyone, I hope the topic I would like to discuss here is allowed in the forum.

Before having the accident and becoming paraplegic, I was pretty much into plain vanilla sex, that was absolutely satisfying. 
After a few years since becoming paraplegic, and finally having accepted my condition as more or less stable, I am very much trying to improve my sex life as much as possible. That's a key part of life, although very often underrated.
I would really like to try some domination/submission activity, as I figured out the psychology is key now when it comes to experiencing pleasure and...there is something very thrilling about that. 
I think it could be a twist in my daily life, or at least something that needs to be tried for sure.
Does anybody (both devotees and pwds) have any experience with this? Regular girls are normally not particularly open to trying this, on top of usual dating difficulties stemming from the disability...
Do you have any recommendation for searching a bdsm partner (women only in my case)? I do not want to pay for any reason, that takes away all the pleasure.
Of course if there is any woman interested in this in the forum, please message me and I will be very happy to discuss, get to know each other better and see if we can be the answer to each other's fantasies. 

[swirlsss]

Feb 21, 2024 13:59:08 GMT -5 swirlsss said:

Dec 30, 2023 5:15:31 GMT -5 matthew91 said:

Hello everyone, I hope the topic I would like to discuss here is allowed in the forum.

Before having the accident and becoming paraplegic, I was pretty much into plain vanilla sex, that was absolutely satisfying. 
After a few years since becoming paraplegic, and finally having accepted my condition as more or less stable, I am very much trying to improve my sex life as much as possible. That's a key part of life, although very often underrated.
I would really like to try some domination/submission activity, as I figured out the psychology is key now when it comes to experiencing pleasure and...there is something very thrilling about that. 
I think it could be a twist in my daily life, or at least something that needs to be tried for sure.
Does anybody (both devotees and pwds) have any experience with this? Regular girls are normally not particularly open to trying this, on top of usual dating difficulties stemming from the disability...
Do you have any recommendation for searching a bdsm partner (women only in my case)? I do not want to pay for any reason, that takes away all the pleasure.
Of course if there is any woman interested in this in the forum, please message me and I will be very happy to discuss, get to know each other better and see if we can be the answer to each other's fantasies. 

Whoops, didn't respond to my last quote. You ate definitely not alone on that one. There is a big aspect of psychology is bdsm which is great for individuals who have reduced feeling. That's part of the reason I like it a lot.