Cycles

[faith]

I got it... I have the answer! Yes.. if this cycle is how men live on a daily basis no wonder they can't multi-task! When your mind is so sidetracked it is hard to concentrate on anything else.
Next time a guy is having a hard time multi-tasking, I will just smile.

[BA]

faith said:

I got it... I have the answer! Yes.. if this cycle is how men live on a daily basis no wonder they can't multi-task! When your mind is so sidetracked it is hard to concentrate on anything else.
Next time a guy is having a hard time multi-tasking, I will just smile.

I REALLY think that you all have just hit the nail on the head. I do think men live in an almost perpetual state of arousal. And we devs DO KNOW how they feel!

[Valkyrja]

LOL!!! "Multi-tasking" LOL!!!
And yes, AB, we know how they feel... the difference is, I think, that we (dev-women) can "multi-tasking"

[charlene]

I don't know if I have anything like cycles.
At times I can get really hot at the sight of a wheeler...

But then again there are times when it just doesn't matter, for example when I'm dating an AB guy...

[cwbjr]

As a (gay) man AND a dev, I can tell you that yes, it is almost a constant state of arousal. No kidding.

That said, I still have "cycles" myself, I think. It varies in intensity, but alas, being a man, it's ever present. Sometimes I can go a whole DAY without thinking about it. ;-)

[Valkyrja]

Cwbjr: for you, being a man, the "constant state of arousal" must be a problem!! LOL!!!
So, we can conclude that the cycles are a Dev issue? No matter men or women.

[BA]

I would conclude that is probably right Val... however the guys have a bit of a harder time hiding it (bad pun intended). I can hide my "wet-on", or as Grace Slick once called it a "soft-on". Guys are a bit more conspicuous.

[cwbjr]

not to worry, ladies - the fear of being spotted with a woody in public is usually enough to keep it in check. usually.

[anais]

Here comes the "AHA!" experience again I am so happy you all are here to formulate and put things in words.
I strongly identify with the cycles. Number 3 is the most frustrating for me, because I always think that the magic is gone when I am there. Lately, for some reason, it takes longer than usual to recover. I feel like Alex from "Clockwork Orange" after he was "cured". I don't want to be cured! I want to be a danger for the society for ever
Though I agree that sometimes stage 2 can become overwhelming and full of daydreaming, I don't remember having hard times to concentrate and function during it. On the contrary, in this stage I am the most creative, productive and full of positive energies. This is the period when I feel the most confident with myself, and there is this wonderful experience of "I'm special, I treasure a secret". I think it's in a way resembles being pregnant (not that I ever was . The last time I remember, it was triggered by a guy who joined a research group I used to work in- he entered the room with a crutch, strongly limping. Later I found out he was a leg amputee. He was completely not my type, and there was nothing that could attract me to him besides his limp. He helped me to move the furniture in the room, and I was thrilled watching him making the effort so elegantly. It felt so good to know that I was physically more able than he, and yet I let him think his help was signifcant. And there it was, the shivers in my back, a hot shower of the familiar "sweet pain", and I knew stage 2 was back and cicking. So here I am posting on the board once again.

[Deleted]

This was a great thread to start Cake. I can totally relate to the cycles as well. This is particularly the case when I'm dating someone (and it's only ever been ABs). I find also that I can spend months in the non-existent or moderate stage but the jump into the more intense stage usually happens with a trigger. Sometimes it's just coming across a wheeler in a movie or sometimes it's a sexy dream. The thing is, I really do feel like this isn't a phase so what does this mean for my AB relationships? I can be super content while in them, and I don't really have much control over what I dream. Still, I can't help but feel guilty for the inadvertent fantasies I have about wheelers.

[dolly]

i'd been comfortably coasting through a stage 3 phase for a while. it's been nice. sort of a holiday from myself, if you will. i've even been feeling properly attracted to AB men and that hasn't happened in a while.

then i had a trigger, a nice major one... and *BAM!* i'm right into stage 2. although, thank god, not a very intense stage 2.

i really wish i could have coasted in phase 3 for a bit longer before i was thrust back into "it". it's exhausting. and frustrating. and definitely a big distraction.

there's no point to this post really. just feeling the need to share with others who understand. i feel so alone with this sometimes.

this cycles thread was really eye opening to me that so many of us go through these phases.



p.s. i miss cake.

[Claire]

I know, Dolly. I feel alone too. Isn't it sad that there are too few of us to form local peer support groups! Those triggers...wow...so intense, so pleasurable, and so frustrating.

I miss Cake too.

[Cake]

Well, I'm still here Just didn't really have anything to say lately. But honestly, who does ever leave Paradevo completely? I bet all the old members who "left" are still around, quietly reading. It's still the one place for devs in this form after all...

[dolly]

hi cake!

i'm glad to know you are still around, even if it's mostly behind the scenes.