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[doe]

Ditto, Bella - an insightful post indeed.

I would like to see you start a similar thread in the general section of the board, because I think the guys would have a lot to contribute to this topic. Appreciating the journey through and since rehab, I think, would make you appreciate how far you have come since that time and to better appreciate the fabbo person you are today. There are plenty of guys on here who demonstrate that everyday.

[BA]

I agree Doe. I think it would be a really good thread. Up to you guys if you want to move some of this thread or start anew.

[dolly]

doe, why not just go ahead and start a fresh new thread about this topic in the general section?

i think it's a good policy to not specifically reference 'devs only' material on the general board (since we expect the guys not to), but there's no reason why we can't start a brand new conversation about this topic over there. i appreciate being able to talk about this stuff in "private" with 'just the devs' because i think it's something we all wrestle with. but no doubt the guys have a unique take on the topic themselves and i think that would make a whole other interesting thread on it's own.


(i'd really prefer to not *ever* have devs only threads moved)

[dolly]

and ya, thanks for that great post grizzabella. you really summed up how i think a lot of us feel when seeing stuff like that. there's sure nothing sexy about that traumatic acute injury stage for me at all. it's tough to watch, even that short brief clip. all the more so in real life and real time. but i think way further on down the road the resilience and fortitude involved in that process can factor into what makes some of these guys so sexy to us.

[canadiandev]

I'd also be interested in hearing stories from members of the board who didn't have an accident, for example, CP. What were their early years on their own like, what do they do differently than SCI guys, etc.

[doe]

Jan 28, 2010 19:36:28 GMT -5 dolly said:

doe, why not just go ahead and start a fresh new thread about this topic in the general section?

i think it's a good policy to not specifically reference 'devs only' material on the general board (since we expect the guys not to), but there's no reason why we can't start a brand new conversation about this topic over there. i appreciate being able to talk about this stuff in "private" with 'just the devs' because i think it's something we all wrestle with. but no doubt the guys have a unique take on the topic themselves and i think that would make a whole other interesting thread on it's own.


(i'd really prefer to not *ever* have devs only threads moved)

Dolly, thanks for the suggestion. These are Bella's ideas and thoughts which she chose to post in the devs only section. I respect that. Personally, I don't think it is appropriate for me to start a thread in the general section on the topic without Bella's approval, largely for the reason you mention. I'm happy either way - new thread or no new thread.

[Dee Dee]

I agree with Dolly - posts in the "dev only" thread should not be moved - there´s a reason they were posted there in the first place.

At the same time I agree with Doe and BA, that it would be a good idea to start a similar thread in the general section. However the issue is quite personal and probably very private to some, which is perfectly understandable, but it has the potential of becoming an interesting discussion, I think .

Isabelle, what do you say about this?

[Ciao Bella]

Oh I have no qualms at all about starting a similar thread on the general board, and out of respect for Doe who originally made the suggestion, I have so ever kindly delegated that task to her hahahaha...

So watch out for the thread girls and boys...hopefully it will be a topic that the boys will want to share in.

[BA]

At this particular point in time, I'd be interested in hearing some of the responses with regard to what has been discussed above. You know, at the end of the day, when all is said and done....no matter what I feel I have accomplished on this board, I still end up feeling that some of the guys perceive us as sexual predators who take pleasure in their pain. That hurts - badly.

[Dee Dee]

Jan 30, 2010 20:54:47 GMT -5 BA said:

At this particular point in time, I'd be interested in hearing some of the responses with regard to what has been discussed above. You know, at the end of the day, when all is said and done....no matter what I feel I have accomplished on this board, I still end up feeling that some of the guys perceive us as sexual predators who take some real sick pleasure in their pain. How sad for all of us.

Well, I think and feel that most of the guys here are positive towards "us", which I´m quite happy about, but - I have felt a little touch of negativity here or there. However, I must say, that´s their problem, not mine. I know what I stand for and I have explained my devness as best I can, and if some guys cannot accept that, then so be it. Others will.

[Inigo Montoya]

Jan 30, 2010 20:54:47 GMT -5 BA said:

At this particular point in time, I'd be interested in hearing some of the responses with regard to what has been discussed above. You know, at the end of the day, when all is said and done....no matter what I feel I have accomplished on this board, I still end up feeling that some of the guys perceive us as sexual predators who take pleasure in their pain. That hurts - badly.

Yeppers. To the point that I'm always a little surprised when someone claims not to mind.

[Dee Dee]

Jan 30, 2010 22:35:00 GMT -5 Inigo Montoya said:

Jan 30, 2010 20:54:47 GMT -5 BA said:

At this particular point in time, I'd be interested in hearing some of the responses with regard to what has been discussed above. You know, at the end of the day, when all is said and done....no matter what I feel I have accomplished on this board, I still end up feeling that some of the guys perceive us as sexual predators who take pleasure in their pain. That hurts - badly.

Yeppers. To the point that I'm always a little surprised when someone claims not to mind.

Well - Clover, dear, it´s not that I don´t mind per se (if you were referring to me, that is ) - I´ve just decided that I cannot and will not please everybody. I´ve had a very, very bad comment from a wheeler, BUT it was his choice to say it, not mine. It DID hurt (badly!), but I won´t let that incident influence me or my actions .

[Inigo Montoya]

Jan 31, 2010 9:55:15 GMT -5 Dee Dee said:

Jan 30, 2010 22:35:00 GMT -5 Inigo Montoya said:

Yeppers. To the point that I'm always a little surprised when someone claims not to mind.

Well - Clover, dear, it´s not that I don´t mind per se (if you were referring to me, that is ) - I´ve just decided that I cannot and will not please everybody. I´ve had a very, very bad comment from a wheeler, BUT it was his choice to say it, not mine. It DID hurt (badly!), but I won´t let that incident influence me or my actions .

Nope, I was referring to guys I "meet." But good answer.

[faith]

BA- A sexual predator? I have never viewed myself as such- but I didn't know I had gray hair until my hairdresser pointed it out either.

I don't know. Seems like most of us on this board want more than just sex. At least that is true for me. A relationship, a friendship, a connection, a match- sex too of course. But my devism is much more than just sex.

[doe]

Jan 30, 2010 20:54:47 GMT -5 BA said:

At this particular point in time, I'd be interested in hearing some of the responses with regard to what has been discussed above. You know, at the end of the day, when all is said and done....no matter what I feel I have accomplished on this board, I still end up feeling that some of the guys perceive us as sexual predators who take pleasure in their pain. That hurts - badly.

It is wrong to make generalisations about anybody based on a label or a classification. We are all individuals - devs and wheelers alike. How sad it is, that some of the guys' perceptions can be based on a label or a classification. Dev is just a word, just like paraplegic, quadraplegic, wheelchair user or disabled. None of these words define any of us here. We are all so much more than any of those things.