Dev highs and what they say about orientation?

[melaney23]

Hi everyone, I'm back with another post-- I'm new here so I have lots of questions, but I will try to make sure that all the most recent posts aren't by me haha.

I've been reading past posts that talk about how some devs think that devness is just like any other sexual/romantic orientation, like being gay, which in many ways I agree with. I've also been reading past posts the talk about dev highs (Thank god I'm not the only one who has those).
Because I'm also bisexual, I was thinking about how while I've had some version of a dev high since I was young, I've never had a "bi-high" or anything similar when it comes to realizing my attraction to other genders. Doesn't this maybe imply that devness is somehow different? Or have other people definitely experienced it in regards to gender too? Or, does anyone know of other orientations that also lead to highs in the way that we experience as devs?
I hope this makes sense, and if my question reveals some ignorance on my part, please forgive!

[devogirl]

Personally I have always thought it is more like a fetish and less like an orientation. What you mention is one good example of why. Experiencing periods of intense fixation is typical of a fetish. A lot of the women here don't like the term fetish because of its negative connotations, while orientation is more neutral. But the solution to that is to reclaim the concept of a fetish in a positive way. It doesn't have to be objectifying or pathologizing. Fetishes are incredibly common, and should be considered a normal part of the human experience.

[melaney23]

May 31, 2024 7:35:44 GMT -5 devogirl said:

Personally I have always thought it is more like a fetish and less like an orientation. What you mention is one good example of why. Experiencing periods of intense fixation is typical of a fetish. A lot of the women here don't like the term fetish because of its negative connotations, while orientation is more neutral. But the solution to that is to reclaim the concept of a fetish in a positive way. It doesn't have to be objectifying or pathologizing. Fetishes are incredibly common, and should be considered a normal part of the human experience.

Ah, got it, I didn't know but that totally makes sense! Thanks (:

[Dani]

When I read about dev highs or lows, I simply see it as hormonal fluctuations.
My dev highs and lows have plateaued since I've entered menopause.I personally consider it a preference and attraction because it was never purely sexual for me. I don't need to think about or be with a guy in a chair to enjoy sex. Other things get me off.
I also separate my fetishes and my devness, because my fetishes have nothing to do with my devness. And my fetishes are what I enjoy when it comes to sex.
My devness is much more psychological than physical. I've always felt that being a dev is very individual to every person and means many different things to different people. The common denominator among devs is a profound interest, curiosity, and understanding of disabilities. In what form this manifests is very individual for everyone.

[lisa]

May 31, 2024 7:35:44 GMT -5 devogirl said:

Experiencing periods of intense fixation is typical of a fetish.

Is it? I didn't know! When googling fetish I mostly got the info that fetishes are solely about inanimate objects (which still did strike me as a bit off, because there is something like a foot fetish or stuff like that), which is why I usually didn't want to compare devness with it. Another thing is that it doesn't add to my sexuality, but it *is* my sexuality, there is nothing else there as far as I have come to understand myself...

[strawberrybubblegum]

I cannot answer if devness is a fetish or an orientation or something in between. Over the years I’ve come to just accept it as part of me and stopped trying to understand and categorize it. But I am also bisexual and I have noticed that there are phases where I am more into women and others when I’m more into men.

[myrrh]

Echo that, I definitely have phases where I'm primarily attracted to women or men. It's not too different from a dev high.