Devs with PWD partners, did your devness change?

[junimo]

For devs in a long-term relationship with a PWD, I’m curious what this does to your devness and dev highs over time. I’m married to an AB man and have only had shorter flings/relationships with PWDs so I don’t have a good frame of reference. I know for the short relationships I had with guys who had a disability, it was like my devness was turned up to 11 the whole time—which was actually kind of exhausting. And then things would tend to burn bright and quick. I’d imagine this level of excitement wouldn’t be sustained over the course of a longer-term partnership, so really just curious what it’s like—for anyone willing to share

[ichbin]

I don't know if two years into a relationship with a PWD counts as "long-term", but if so, I´d say, my devness didn´t change. I´m still into the same stuff.

What definitely has changed is the "urge". I feel very content now, and I used to feel discontent and in search of a PWD (in very unhealthy, maniac ways... ). I still have my dev highs, but not as extreme as I used to have them when I was phantasizing about what it would be like to be with a PWD.

For example today I went to a concert in the city where I live, and there was a quite good looking wheeler my age. I was like "wow, who is it, why haven´t I seen him before, where does he come from...." and I always wanted to look at him - but didn´t because I didn't want to "stare". I found him attractive in a magnetic way... just beautiful, basically, something you want to look at because it´s so beautiful. Before my relationship I would have been amazingly agitated and would have felt ashamed when looking at him and would have probably thought of him when going to bed while touching myself... this has changed. It´s not something THAT special any more when I see a wheeler. It´s just beautiful and makes me happy.

[feelsunshine]

I'm into paras, I'm not in a relationship with one but it's more like "best friends, and once in a while friends with benefits". But this has been going for about 4 years now with our ups and downs.
My devness is still there. But I don't have the urge as much anymore to watch movies with wheelers or find content elswhere because I got the "real thing"., There are these most precious experiences to be out in the wild with that wheeler and people can see him and me together, that really feels great. And of course these intimate moments where you can cuddle close to the guy and just feel save and good.

However, as in every sort of relationship, the reality kicks in and you get to experience that not everything is as great as you imagined. I'm talking about short-term cancellation of plans due to any sort of sickness that suddenly kicks in. Other example: usually, first thing when I visit my guy is, that he needs me to help him change bed sheets. It's nice to give a helping hand, but it also would be nice if stuff like that wasn't even necessary. you know what I mean?
But still, despite how challenging it sometimes is, I have zero interest in AB men. There are good looking men out there, don't get me wrong, but first thing that kicks in is the thought "man, that guy would look great in a wheelchair".
But, I have no interest and intentions to get flirty with an AB man at all. I sometimes wish that would change, because that would give the amount of potential partners a nice uplift. But it is what it is. It's been over 6 years that I decided: better be alone than being in an AB-relationship.

[lookingfor]

I've been in multiple relationships with PWDs. I wouldn't necessarily say it changes because of the partner or length of relationship, but my devness definitely has it's highs and lows, but so do my other sexual needs/desires. I've learned and grown a lot since my last relationship with a PWD. Going forward, I'd definitely make sure there was a stronger foundation and more communication.

[mona]

Hey, that’s an interesting question.

I have been in a relationship with a pwd for almost four years now. My devness certainly changed. It calmed down and I am glad it did. I still feel a very strong attraction to his body and this deep tenderness. But my sex drive slowed down as it always did in long relationships. The craving isn’t there anymore and it just all feels very balanced. I almost never think about my devness and that’s why I don’t hang around here very often anymore. 💕