Post by choicetomake on Jun 21, 2024 12:55:21 GMT -5
What's up everybody? It's been a while since I've been around, and when I was I wasn't overly active on here. But I've been spending a lot of time in lately (you'll know why in a moment) and sort of found my way back.
In any case, I've been pondering a lot in recent weeks. Life has been insane and somewhat surreal lately. About 6 weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, and the biopsy basically caused a hemorhagic stroke, resulting in expressive aphasia (he can understand most things but can't really speak, although it's slowly coming back) and total paralysis on the right side of his body.
I'm coping ok (although I fell apart near daily in the first two weeks he was in the hospital), and he's in remarkably good spirits especially now that he's started radiation and chemo to try and meet this thing head on.
In any case, I feel like it's caused some perspective strangely. All my life I've been the one in the hospital bed. I've been a C7 incomplete since I was a year and a half (31 now). I've had my fair share of health scares, and even besides scares simply surgeries and procedures over the course of so many years. He's always been next to my bed. Spent the night with me in the hospital more times than I can count.
My sisters and I have been taking turns sleeping in the hospital with him so my mom doesn't have to. I've been hopping from the cot into my chair to grab his urinal when he has to use it at night. We had a laugh because once he woke be from deep REM sleep or something because I totally wiffed making my transfer and he had to watch as my chair rolled away.
It's eerie sometimes. I've sat in on some of his PT sessions and watched him swing his leg into his lap EXACTLY the same way I do when putting my shoes on. I've teased him a few times (humor is how we cope) that everyone thinks paralysis was so easy until it's their turn. He's a good sport.
I guess it's just weird when roles are flipped. You get an appreciation of the people who helped you and stood by offering support, sometimes not realizing how difficult that is as well.
I don't fully know what the point of this post is. I've been in the mode of just brain dumping on anyone who has the misfortune of crossing paths with me. Today that is all of you haha. I suppose when reality hits your brain becomes a house of fog and mirrors. Maybe one of you has experienced something similar. I don't know.
That's all! Be well.
In any case, I've been pondering a lot in recent weeks. Life has been insane and somewhat surreal lately. About 6 weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, and the biopsy basically caused a hemorhagic stroke, resulting in expressive aphasia (he can understand most things but can't really speak, although it's slowly coming back) and total paralysis on the right side of his body.
I'm coping ok (although I fell apart near daily in the first two weeks he was in the hospital), and he's in remarkably good spirits especially now that he's started radiation and chemo to try and meet this thing head on.
In any case, I feel like it's caused some perspective strangely. All my life I've been the one in the hospital bed. I've been a C7 incomplete since I was a year and a half (31 now). I've had my fair share of health scares, and even besides scares simply surgeries and procedures over the course of so many years. He's always been next to my bed. Spent the night with me in the hospital more times than I can count.
My sisters and I have been taking turns sleeping in the hospital with him so my mom doesn't have to. I've been hopping from the cot into my chair to grab his urinal when he has to use it at night. We had a laugh because once he woke be from deep REM sleep or something because I totally wiffed making my transfer and he had to watch as my chair rolled away.
It's eerie sometimes. I've sat in on some of his PT sessions and watched him swing his leg into his lap EXACTLY the same way I do when putting my shoes on. I've teased him a few times (humor is how we cope) that everyone thinks paralysis was so easy until it's their turn. He's a good sport.
I guess it's just weird when roles are flipped. You get an appreciation of the people who helped you and stood by offering support, sometimes not realizing how difficult that is as well.
I don't fully know what the point of this post is. I've been in the mode of just brain dumping on anyone who has the misfortune of crossing paths with me. Today that is all of you haha. I suppose when reality hits your brain becomes a house of fog and mirrors. Maybe one of you has experienced something similar. I don't know.
That's all! Be well.
