Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2024 23:53:17 GMT -5
Thought I would post a thread where we all can share some of our funniest or most embarrassing experiences. I definitely have a few that some might not even think actually happened in real life but I can promise you, they did.
When I lived in the big city (Orlando) I had one really good friend whom I had known since the seventh grade. We remained friends well into adulthood and we would frequently go out to local restaurants around town, just whenever we had a craving for anything in particular, I would call him since he was the one with the vehicle and we would go. This particular story is set at my local Outback steakhouse. We arrive, find a parking spot without incident, exit his SUV and enter into this establishment with no major issues. We get seated at a table, which I jokingly take the opportunity to remind our server that for me it is just an appropriate place to park while consumption of mass quantities is in progress. We realize that it's right around 5 PM and it's happy hour. Having never been one to miss an opportunity I carefully study the drink menu until a spot something which looks quite intriguing. Suddenly my eyes stop, I have found something I cannot resist the temptation to try, Aussie rum punch. My buddy looks at the menu, spots the drink and quips it better be good they are seven dollars apiece. As the first one arrives I am honestly more thirsty than anything else so I temporarily forget; one, how expensive this drink is and two; that it contains an unknown amount of alcohol. I down this first glass in about 30 seconds and I find myself saying damn that was good, has a slight coconut flavor which I happen to like and complemented all of the other flavors nicely. With that in mind I promptly order another drink, and I end up having a third before the end of our stay. (This will come into play later) Now, It's been a few years but I think he ordered the prime rib and I got Outback's signature 22 ounce porterhouse. Everything was going fine, we are both enjoying our meal while talking and laughing a little bit in between bites when I began to realize that there was a slight slope to the table at which we were seated, and that slope was in my direction. Well my friend across the table from me just so happened to have a carafe full of aju to top his meet with, and wouldn't you know it, he accidentally knocked it over causing a building tide of meat juice headed slowly across the table with eyes directly for my crotch. In a matter of only seconds which seemed like slow motion, I searched for anything I could use as a makeshift barrier to stop this inevitable collision. Unfortunately I was unsuccessful, and even more unfortunately the juice had been sitting on the table for so long that at this point it was cold. When it hit me, even though I was of course wearing two layers of clothing it didn't matter, it pierced through the fabric as if it didn't exist, causing me to have the feeling of going into a really cold pool and getting to that point where you just have to go for it and submerge your low hanging fruit. When you add into the mix the three previously consumed alcoholic beverages of unknown alcohol content, let's just say my reaction was uncharacteristically animated. If you thought that was it, it's not. Here's the good part, as we are headed to the parking spot we can hear music playing in the distance as this Outback steakhouse was located next to a strip mall. I am at this point three sheets to the wind, but I don't know how bad it is yet. So I prepared to get into my friend's SUV, this is a process which we have down to a science at this point, I stand up, he moves my manual chair out of the way then he stands behind me as I somehow manage to lift one of my legs up onto the running board, he stands behind me to make sure I don't fall and so that I have something to push against to get my other leg up into the vehicle turn around and sit down while at the same time always sitting on my foot and needing him to help me get unstuck. That's how it was supposed to go, this is how it actually went. We pull up to the truck, he opens the door I go to stand up he moves my chair out of the way, it is at this point I noticed Tina Turner playing in the background. Specifically what's love got to do with it. Now, I can't sing, I think I held a note once about 10 years ago and I was so shocked that once I realized I did it I've never been able to do it again. So, I don't think he notices the music in the background so I'm standing there he's behind me and he says are you ready and I'm like yeah let's do this. I lift one leg up and I say oh shit, because I'm kinda beginning to realize just how impaired I am. It's at this moment that the chorus to the song comes along, and once again without even thinking I just bust out with the chorus of the song and start laughing so hard that I almost fell down he starts laughing so hard that it makes me laugh harder and at this point I can't see anymore and my stomach hurts. I'm finally able to recover just enough after about 10 minutes to finish getting in the truck and we go back to my house laughing intermittently on the way home.
I have many many more and they are much worse than this, but I figured this was a nice starting point. Curious to see if anyone else has any stories
When I lived in the big city (Orlando) I had one really good friend whom I had known since the seventh grade. We remained friends well into adulthood and we would frequently go out to local restaurants around town, just whenever we had a craving for anything in particular, I would call him since he was the one with the vehicle and we would go. This particular story is set at my local Outback steakhouse. We arrive, find a parking spot without incident, exit his SUV and enter into this establishment with no major issues. We get seated at a table, which I jokingly take the opportunity to remind our server that for me it is just an appropriate place to park while consumption of mass quantities is in progress. We realize that it's right around 5 PM and it's happy hour. Having never been one to miss an opportunity I carefully study the drink menu until a spot something which looks quite intriguing. Suddenly my eyes stop, I have found something I cannot resist the temptation to try, Aussie rum punch. My buddy looks at the menu, spots the drink and quips it better be good they are seven dollars apiece. As the first one arrives I am honestly more thirsty than anything else so I temporarily forget; one, how expensive this drink is and two; that it contains an unknown amount of alcohol. I down this first glass in about 30 seconds and I find myself saying damn that was good, has a slight coconut flavor which I happen to like and complemented all of the other flavors nicely. With that in mind I promptly order another drink, and I end up having a third before the end of our stay. (This will come into play later) Now, It's been a few years but I think he ordered the prime rib and I got Outback's signature 22 ounce porterhouse. Everything was going fine, we are both enjoying our meal while talking and laughing a little bit in between bites when I began to realize that there was a slight slope to the table at which we were seated, and that slope was in my direction. Well my friend across the table from me just so happened to have a carafe full of aju to top his meet with, and wouldn't you know it, he accidentally knocked it over causing a building tide of meat juice headed slowly across the table with eyes directly for my crotch. In a matter of only seconds which seemed like slow motion, I searched for anything I could use as a makeshift barrier to stop this inevitable collision. Unfortunately I was unsuccessful, and even more unfortunately the juice had been sitting on the table for so long that at this point it was cold. When it hit me, even though I was of course wearing two layers of clothing it didn't matter, it pierced through the fabric as if it didn't exist, causing me to have the feeling of going into a really cold pool and getting to that point where you just have to go for it and submerge your low hanging fruit. When you add into the mix the three previously consumed alcoholic beverages of unknown alcohol content, let's just say my reaction was uncharacteristically animated. If you thought that was it, it's not. Here's the good part, as we are headed to the parking spot we can hear music playing in the distance as this Outback steakhouse was located next to a strip mall. I am at this point three sheets to the wind, but I don't know how bad it is yet. So I prepared to get into my friend's SUV, this is a process which we have down to a science at this point, I stand up, he moves my manual chair out of the way then he stands behind me as I somehow manage to lift one of my legs up onto the running board, he stands behind me to make sure I don't fall and so that I have something to push against to get my other leg up into the vehicle turn around and sit down while at the same time always sitting on my foot and needing him to help me get unstuck. That's how it was supposed to go, this is how it actually went. We pull up to the truck, he opens the door I go to stand up he moves my chair out of the way, it is at this point I noticed Tina Turner playing in the background. Specifically what's love got to do with it. Now, I can't sing, I think I held a note once about 10 years ago and I was so shocked that once I realized I did it I've never been able to do it again. So, I don't think he notices the music in the background so I'm standing there he's behind me and he says are you ready and I'm like yeah let's do this. I lift one leg up and I say oh shit, because I'm kinda beginning to realize just how impaired I am. It's at this moment that the chorus to the song comes along, and once again without even thinking I just bust out with the chorus of the song and start laughing so hard that I almost fell down he starts laughing so hard that it makes me laugh harder and at this point I can't see anymore and my stomach hurts. I'm finally able to recover just enough after about 10 minutes to finish getting in the truck and we go back to my house laughing intermittently on the way home.
I have many many more and they are much worse than this, but I figured this was a nice starting point. Curious to see if anyone else has any stories