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Post by Ciao Bella on Mar 1, 2008 7:06:45 GMT -5
Ok, by now I have disclosed the fact that I am in a pretty serious relationship with a wheeler - thanks to this board. We've been living together for some months now, and obviously, we've been going places ... most recently by plane. My new pet peeves at the moment is 1)people coming up to me and saying what a good person I am, implying that I am only with my boyfriend because he is a chair-user 2) people who start helping him without knowing what to do in the first place (EG: when my boyfriend was about to transfer from the aisle chair to his seat on the plane, 3 flight attendants zeroed in on him trying to lift him by all limbs available). He tells me to get used to it, that they simply don't know. My question for the devs who are in relationships with their para/quad boyfriends: DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE BOPPING ALL OF THOSE IGNORANT PEOPLE ON THE HEAD?  aaarrrghh |
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Post by BA on Mar 1, 2008 13:57:35 GMT -5
Yeah, Isabelle, I do know that feeling. After awhile it goes away and you start to get less troubled by it. There's always one asshole in a crowd. It's now both of your jobs to 'educate the needy'. Now you get to feel what he's been dealing with (and is probably way past) for quite some time. You can do this in a nice way, in a sarcastic way or just ignore it all. I did learn not to take it all too seriously and sometimes people made such jerks of themselves that it was downright funny. I especially detest the people who hands on and pray for both of you in the name of J-E-S-U-S! My ex-b/f of many years ago used to so DESPISE that one that he'd worked out an acting routine with me and would let them do the praying. Suddenly he'd yell "Praise God, I can feel my legs again!" Then I'd then fall down to the floor and scream "What have you done to me! I can't move!". It went so far one time, that the people attempted to summon medical help. Looking back on it, I think it was mean to psych out these born-again people out in such a terrible way, but we were young and had little tolerance. If I had to do it all over again, I'd just say 'thanks for your concern'.
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Post by natasha on Mar 1, 2008 15:03:14 GMT -5
oh yesss, i totally know what you're talking about Isabelle...Is all part of the package!!!...
I used to get so annoyed about the same facts and it was my ex who had to tell me to ignore them...
Them with time it gets easier, you just learn to deal with people and be more polite.....Is all about people being ignorant about what a person with a disability can or cant do they just see them all the same...We know because we are with them and don't see them any different
I have this example of one time us being at a restaurant and this guy called my ex and told him: "WOW, is so good to see people like you out, it gives other hope!..I went  ... Oh well, you'll get used to it...
AB-the story of your ex was simply hilarious! ;D
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Post by Ciao Bella on Mar 1, 2008 18:10:08 GMT -5
AB that is soooooo funny! and sounds like something my boyfriend will do LOL. In fairness though, I do have a friend who has been curious about my relationship with my boy. And because she asks without any judgment, then I am happy to tell her what she wants to know (obviously keeping censored bits out of the way LOL). And yes, I am starting to become oblivious to the stares we get on the street. And as a matter of fact - we had a very nice pash in the al fresco area of a take-away joint  ooh-la-la |
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Post by laurasweetou on Mar 3, 2008 12:42:16 GMT -5
Yeah, Isabelle, I do know that feeling. After awhile it goes away and you start to get less troubled by it. There's always one asshole in a crowd. It's now both of your jobs to 'educate the needy'. Now you get to feel what he's been dealing with (and is probably way past) for quite some time. You can do this in a nice way, in a sarcastic way or just ignore it all. I did learn not to take it all too seriously and sometimes people made such jerks of themselves that it was downright funny. I especially detest the people who hands on and pray for both of you in the name of J-E-S-U-S! My ex-b/f of many years ago used to so DESPISE that one that he'd worked out an acting routine with me and would let them do the praying. Suddenly he'd yell "Praise God, I can feel my legs again!" Then I'd then fall down to the floor and scream "What have you done to me! I can't move!". It went so far one time, that the people attempted to summon medical help. Looking back on it, I think it was mean to psych out these born-again people out in such a terrible way, but we were young and had little tolerance. If I had to do it all over again, I'd just say 'thanks for your concern'. omg that happened to me too I laughed so hard I thought I'd pee!!!  |
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... Oh well, you'll get used to it...
ooh-la-la 