Compatibility with ABs

[bonniebrae]

This whole thread is so interesting! I have only ever had unsatisfying sex with ab men tooooo. I have started to wonder if I’m on the ace spectrum tho — it never occurred to me that sex might be better with a disabled guy (despite all the fantasizing I have done.)

I’m also attracted to women and have had much better sex with ab women, one of whom I am married to. We pretty much never have sex any more, but this is not that uncommon in w4w relationships, it seems, so I have been able to separate it from my secret devness.

Lots to think about here!

[GabsDev]

Sept 19, 2024 15:56:09 GMT -5 Chan said:

I'm someone who had years' and years' worth of experiences with both AB and dis partners. Overwhelmingly, the sex I had with AB partners was something I suffered through from a young age and generally found extremely unpleasant, painful, and gross. Meanwhile, my experiences with disabled partners was overwhelmingly positive and fulfilling, and I'm glad I was able to have so many different opportunities. Eventually, though, the reality was that finding true longterm compatibility with a dis partner was statistically unlikely to happen, so I just kind of resigned myself to forcing things with AB men, which never works out.

Then it dawned on me recently that I should look into dating asexual ABs who were into the romantic aspect of a relationship but with no sexual obligations. I've met a couple people now, and it seems like the most likely long term solution for me, despite the available people seeming to have a lot of fucked up backgrounds and unresolved emotional problems.

That being said, does anyone else have such a strong aversion to sex with AB men? It puts me in a difficult situation because it knocks out a significant portion of available partners. I've been in a dev low for several years now, and it's not something I actively look for anymore; it has a lot less importance in my life. Opening myself up to something with asexual AB men has been an interesting turn of events, but there have been some wild revelations and experiences so far.

I think it's so important to undestand our sexual preferences and hard limits. Personally I have never had the experience with a PWD, but like the most of us, I fantasizy a lot. I'm maried and my husband doesn't know about my devness. Our sexual life is pretty quiet, even we have an wonderful connection. The connection os veeeeery important for me. Before him, I had a few sexual partners, men, women and gender fluid people. I discovered that with AB man I don't like regular sex, but love inversion in this case. With women and gender fluid, there is more exploration. I'm dying to know what it would be like. with a para/quad man, but at the same time I can't cheat on my husband and it's killing me.

[dutchdev]

Oct 18, 2024 20:31:36 GMT -5 bonniebrae said:

This whole thread is so interesting! I have only ever had unsatisfying sex with ab men tooooo. I have started to wonder if I’m on the ace spectrum tho — it never occurred to me that sex might be better with a disabled guy (despite all the fantasizing I have done.)

I’m also attracted to women and have had much better sex with ab women, one of whom I am married to. We pretty much never have sex any more, but this is not that uncommon in w4w relationships, it seems, so I have been able to separate it from my secret devness.

Lots to think about here!

This is very much N=1, I know plenty of women that had different experiences, but……
I was never very impressed with sex, for a long time I figured I was A-sexual or that it indeed wasn’t that satisfying for women as it was for men. Had started climaxing at some point thanks to drifting off to fantasy land. Have experimented with a woman, that wasn’t it either.

At 42 I recently experienced sex with a PWD for the first time. Let’s just say, I don’t think I am asexual anymore. In advance (sex was very much on the table) I had a lot of doubt if this would make a difference, it did, for the first time in my life I actually had satisfying sex while being present and in the moment. First time in my live, I couldn’t get enough, I initiated and I actually came to the person I was with.

[Deleted]

Nov 2, 2024 10:29:01 GMT -5 GabsDev said:

Sept 19, 2024 15:56:09 GMT -5 Chan said:

I'm someone who had years' and years' worth of experiences with both AB and dis partners. Overwhelmingly, the sex I had with AB partners was something I suffered through from a young age and generally found extremely unpleasant, painful, and gross. Meanwhile, my experiences with disabled partners was overwhelmingly positive and fulfilling, and I'm glad I was able to have so many different opportunities. Eventually, though, the reality was that finding true longterm compatibility with a dis partner was statistically unlikely to happen, so I just kind of resigned myself to forcing things with AB men, which never works out.

Then it dawned on me recently that I should look into dating asexual ABs who were into the romantic aspect of a relationship but with no sexual obligations. I've met a couple people now, and it seems like the most likely long term solution for me, despite the available people seeming to have a lot of fucked up backgrounds and unresolved emotional problems.

That being said, does anyone else have such a strong aversion to sex with AB men? It puts me in a difficult situation because it knocks out a significant portion of available partners. I've been in a dev low for several years now, and it's not something I actively look for anymore; it has a lot less importance in my life. Opening myself up to something with asexual AB men has been an interesting turn of events, but there have been some wild revelations and experiences so far.

I think it's so important to undestand our sexual preferences and hard limits. Personally I have never had the experience with a PWD, but like the most of us, I fantasizy a lot. I'm maried and my husband doesn't know about my devness. Our sexual life is pretty quiet, even we have an wonderful connection. The connection os veeeeery important for me. Before him, I had a few sexual partners, men, women and gender fluid people. I discovered that with AB man I don't like regular sex, but love inversion in this case. With women and gender fluid, there is more exploration. I'm dying to know what it would be like. with a para/quad man, but at the same time I can't cheat on my husband and it's killing me.

I am very much in the same situation as you with the wanting to know, I’m also married to an able bodied partner, he does know about me being a dev but it makes him uncomfortable, I could never cheat on him but that niggle of “what would it be like” is always there.