Doors

[nwpara51]

How do y’all communicate your preferences about assistance with doors? If can manage a door I generally don’t want assistance. Often, for me, momentum is key for efficiently getting through a door and if someone helps with the door it can make the whole process more difficult. Especially if someone stands on one side and tries to push the door open without going through—I'm obliged to squeeze past this helpful person and under their arm… the worst! :-) The least troublesome door assistance for me is if the person opens the door out and steps back out of the way or goes in quickly and holds the door open from behind the door inside. But generally I don’t want assistance… until I do. There are doors, usually with a large threshold, or slope, or heavy spring that I just cannot navigate and then I do need help to safely make it through the door. It’s rare that I hit the sweet spot of not getting help until I need it… I’ve never been able to sum this up and neatly communicate it without worrying that I’m offending someone who just wants to help. Y’all got strategies? Would love to hear them. 

[wappingmike]

Nov 4, 2024 10:46:28 GMT -5 nwpara51 said:

The least troublesome door assistance for me is if the person opens the door out and steps back out of the way or goes in quickly and holds the door open from behind the door inside. 

I’ve never been able to sum this up and neatly communicate it without worrying that I’m offending someone who just wants to help. 


I think you hit the nail on the head with the second sentence above. It's largely about your discomfort, not others. I get it. It's frustrating you even have to ask, and awkward/embarrassing if you don't get what you need.



But you've already said in the first sentence what works best for you. So you know what you want/need.



For want of any better advise, I'd simply go along with:

1. Smiling

2. Asking

3. If necessary saying "would you mind doing it X Way? It's a lot easier for both of us

4. Thank them for them from listening as well as helping

[kwhi13]

Doors are interesting…I typically let the person involved hold the door, particularly if said person is an attractive female. Any reason to smile and say hi. The door thing to me gets to be a pain the the ass if the “holder” is clueless and gets in the way. This happens more than one might think and actually impedes ingress and egress, and slows me down when it happens. Ciao…

[Sova]

Just preemptively open the door for them.
And don’t do it for some cosmic reverse Uno card irony or whatever.


Do it for the AB-help-boner 😇

[vegmama]

Nov 4, 2024 10:46:28 GMT -5 nwpara51 said:

Especially if someone stands on one side and tries to push the door open without going through—I'm obliged to squeeze past this helpful person and under their arm… the worst! :-)



———

Wait…do people actually do this??  Because this is hella awkward for anyone…wheelchair or not.  I would feel SO weird ducking under a stranger’s arm to go through a door!  LOL

[nwpara51]

Nov 20, 2024 0:05:09 GMT -5 vegmama said:

Nov 4, 2024 10:46:28 GMT -5 nwpara51 said:

Especially if someone stands on one side and tries to push the door open without going through—I'm obliged to squeeze past this helpful person and under their arm… the worst! :-)



———

Wait…do people actually do this??  Because this is hella awkward for anyone…wheelchair or not.  I would feel SO weird ducking under a stranger’s arm to go through a door!  LOL

More often than you would think! It’s kinda a mix of “you go first” and “I’ll hold the door”. :-)