...is this patronizing???

[Pony]

My guitar player/friend belongs to a Pearl Jam message board. He recently posted the YouTube link of him and I playing the coffeehouse few months ago. I just read some of the responses from other posters and my guitar player.

I'm just curious, do any of you feel some of the remarks are 'patronizing?' I'll add my feelings later, but really curious what you think!!!

forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=283847

[Triassic]

yes, it's somewhat patronizing; not TOO bad, but some. that old 'I word' again... and ian sorta gives the impression that HE'S carrying YOU; like he's maybe doing you a favor to be playing w/you.

[E]

Nah. I don't think so. They seemed genuine to me.

[Ciao Bella]

I'm in two minds about their feedbacks. Maybe if I were (and I am) touchy about the "I" word, I would think they were patronizing. then again, it probably took them 10 years to write that sentence ... trying not to sound too patronizing to the wheelie, but not quite succeeding.

Just as an aside, RE: Inspiration... In my opinion, what's inspiring is not necessarily what you guys "do" but more of the fact that you go beyond your challenges and just do what you want and have to do without whinging. In Tony's case, it's not the singing per se, but the willingness to get up in the morning, don his ballerina pants, get up on stage and just sing. Hey, even if I could sing in tune, I would NEVER get onstage to sing. What I find amazing is how much more you end up doing with your life because of your circumstances, be it due an accident or not. Take Fubb - he's a pilot; take Tony - a musician and top creative bloke; take Esquire - a lawyer; you get my drift.

makes me think...what exactly have I done with my life for me to be proud of myself? Nada, zilch, nothing. this could actually be another thread in itself...

[Pony]

Ok, first, my friend Ian can, and has, sounded patronizing at times in the past. He has a great tendency to exaggerate, even fibb on his playing experience, and let's get this straight, he's been fat wayyy before his wife got pregnant. He also puts every gig down that I've ever done with him, and hearing him almost compliment my singing is a first. Sometimes in the past he has made it sound like he's playing as a favor to me. You know, charity case, but I'll tell you this, 'Every gig I've ever done with, including the Hard Rock Cafe, found. If I don't find a gig, he sits without playing. BTW, he doesn't work coz he's never really held a job very long, and somebody in family pays the bills. But, I really did appreciate his pointing out some of my accomplishment, despite the quadism. He's also a very good player that I have told him many times, and his Taylor guitar is the ass kickinest acoustic I ever heard.

The other comments were, I thought, fair! And let's face it, to most ABs it is 'inspiring', or whatever, to them. There's NOTHING wrong with recognizing inspiration. Hell, I'm inspired by people all the time. I love a great story of 'conquering adversity'.

Now, as my getting up and singing goes, uh, in ballerina tights, I just love music, and there's no other way to do it. It's actually gotten very easy over the years, but it's been an evolution, believe me. I do kinda get a kick out of blowing peep's stereotypes out of water, but I have to say, 'most peeps accept me very easily when I've played. I think the music somehow smoothes out the differences.

PARTY ON, WAYNE!!!

[matisse]

May 6, 2008 20:27:54 GMT -5 Pony said:

and let's get this straight, he's been fat wayyy before his wife got pregnant.

LOL!!!

I don't know if the comments were patronizing, but I would have found them a little annoying because they all talk about your disability and not just your singing. Also, your voice didn't sound whiney to me, it was more raspy.

Your bud sounds like a stereotypical artist.......very self-involved.

[Ouch]

May 6, 2008 19:48:38 GMT -5 Ciao Bella said:

Hey, even if I could sing in tune, I would NEVER get onstage to sing.

lol, I can't sing in tune, and I get on stage anyway! (and people pay to see it...strange...)

As for the replies...I think a lot of what was said might've not been said had you been the person to talk about the event, Tony...but as you were referred to in the third person, you become more of an object than a person...but I think that happens in multiple situations that don't even relate to disability, etc.

[Claire]

May 6, 2008 22:52:13 GMT -5 Ouch said:

lol, I can't sing in tune,

BULL FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pony]

Fubb, never heard of the band, but I've always liked some of the soul/funk falsetto singers, like Curtis Mayfield, who incidently, ended up a high-level quad, didn't he??? I hardly ever sing falsetto, but I've noticed Irish singers use it a lot, slipping in and out of it.

Windrider, you're famously hard on yourself, I'll bet you do great job. Hey, if they're 'paying', you're doing something right. I'm curious, what songs do you play well? Wish you were in town, we could play a little...start a band called "Devo" ...whip it good!

[Ciao Bella]

Imagine a band/group of wheelies??? whaddyathink devs???

[Ouch]

May 7, 2008 8:58:32 GMT -5 Claire said:

May 6, 2008 22:52:13 GMT -5 Ouch said:

lol, I can't sing in tune,

BULL f*ckING sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^ That sounds messy, Claire...

lol, Tony, my mother said I'd be famous for something ; I don't know what I play 'well'; but I typically play 60s-70s-80s Rock, but have my deviations. Ironically, I will be relocating to Fl come Fall...

...as for 'Devo'; well I'm not wearing a stupid hat...

[Pony]

Cool Wind, hope it's the west coast of Fla (Tampa/clearwater), then we'll play. You can sit with me and Triassic in the park, like wheelchair vagrants - that ought to catch the Devs. lol Look, i'm dying to play in a funk band, so brush up your P-Funk, G. Clinton, Prince, James Brown licks.

Smartest move I ever made was heading for Fla from Northeast!!!