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Post by natasha on Jun 8, 2008 19:31:49 GMT -5
This is a good question!! Went I met the 1st wheeler I went out with I didn't know anything about SCI and wasn't very aware of the internet and stuff(it was like 8 years ago)...We used to talk a lot but never about hes disability, I wanted to ask him a lot of things but was to shy and scared and he never seems to be open to it........ So when the sex part finally came, it was a disaster!!!!!! for real. ..I was freaking out for a few reasons(spasms, lack of erection) plus the fact I wasn't very sexually experienced make the whole thing pretty crazy!!!.......Then I finally went on line and started to learned all about SCI and got more confortable.............. When I finally met who became my boyfriend for almost 2 years, we didn't talk about hes disability for about 3 weeks(we just focus about random and general things)..then he brought the subject and were such great and open conversations!!!he always make me felt at ease and that was one of the things that make me fall for him...... when we got to have sex it was amazinnnnnggggg!!! he actually been the guy capable of giving me the most big "O" so far ;D....ok, to much information!!hahaha.....
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Post by Ouch on Jun 8, 2008 21:51:28 GMT -5
think of it as a dance ... where you take the cue from the other person. I think that's a very good way to think of it; that's how I see it. I haven't necessarily gone out from the start mentioning disability or specifics, but when I feel I've reached the 'right' point in the 'dance', I share piece by piece.
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Post by faith on Jun 9, 2008 0:32:16 GMT -5
Tony- my comments were about the original post... he knew she was in a wheelchair but I guess that is all. I would want to know a "bit" more than that! But, everyone is different I suppose.
But a question for you. The gal who you first met on-line... when you told her your secret how did you think she would react? Were you surprised or was it what you expected?
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Post by laurasweetou on Jun 9, 2008 4:49:36 GMT -5
I have some questions for a quad that I can't just POST OMG! About my new boyfriend, he explained this thing to me but I don't quite understand... Soooo, if you'd be comfortable explaining so meting to me about cathing, get a hold of me. The Most Uncommon Laura The questions still loom... can someone PM or IM me on yahoo, preferably a quad? The Most Uncommon Laura
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Jun 9, 2008 15:29:47 GMT -5
Chatting online is one thing, but I think that if you've decided to meet, physically, then you must be honest and give the other person a heads up about yourself. Maybe you can hold back cetain very personal things if the comfort level isn't feeling right yet, but you really should give them the basics. Showing up with your Mother... wow. That would be a huge shock to me, lol.
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Post by laurasweetou on Jun 10, 2008 12:32:29 GMT -5
Thank you Phil, that's great advice.
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Post by Pony on Jun 10, 2008 14:30:36 GMT -5
Phil, you hit it...you can't be a high quad that needs your mom with you and conceal that until the point of meeting. When I met my friend from Delaware I picked her up at airport. There were no surprises, she knew my level of injury and function. We just continued the same conversation we'd started online and phone. If you're a quad, there's more to reveal besides just being in a chair. There's graceful ways of doing this without scaring the sht out of the person.
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