Equal Opportunities by Mathilde Madden

[§cαrL£t]

Have any of you heard of this book, or read it?

www.mathildemadden.co.uk/n-equal.shtml

[Claire]

Hadn't heard of it, but thanks for the tip! Sounds interesting.

[BA]

I will most certainly read this one! Thanks for the tip.

[laurasweetou]

This woman is amazing! there go my 12+ hour flight to Ireland.

[§cαrL£t]

Fubb, good point.

[spurs2000]

To right Fubb!

[§cαrL£t]

Overall, I liked the book. There were plenty of hot parts, although it was very BDSM heavy. And as noted above, the guy's sexual circumstances were atypical for someone with an sci.

Anyway, here are two relevant passages:

---

David

Not feeling even the tiniest twinge of remorse, I go over to the social club and hang out there. I get yet another Coke from the machine, though I already feel a bit buzzy and over-caffeinated, and end up talking to Andy, as usual. But I'm still in this strange place, mentally, and I talk to him in a way I probably haven't before.

He starts asking me about sex and Mary and how things are going in the whole erection-getting department. And when I tell him that things are great, Andy starts to sing Mary's praises, going on about how sexy she is and how lucky I am.

That isn't what I want to hear right now. After what just happened with Eleanor the last thing I want to consider is how wonderful Mary is and how lucky I am. So, I don't know, I'm buzzy and pissed off and, well, just in a funny sort of a mood, so I say, 'Yeah, but there's a few things you don't know about Mary.'

Andy smiles. He obviously thinks I am referring to Mary's kinky tastes. And I am.

'You know what she really likes,' I say, my voice full of low-register sexy promise, which makes Andy grin a dirty grin, 'she really likes the fact I can't walk.'

Woah! Andy looks as if he has just had 50,000 volts up the arse. It takes him a while to respond. 'You mean Mary is a devo?'

'I don't know. What's a devo?'

'A devotee. Someone who shags cripples because it turns them on.' Then he pauses and looks a bit vexed. 'It turns on the devos, that is, not the cripples, if you see what I mean.'

'Oh, well, in that case, yes, that about sums her up.'

'Shit.' Andy still looks shocked. He's gone white. 'I thought she was so nice. Just a sweet straightforward girl. Fond of the kinky sex, but ... oh mate,' and he reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder, 'I'm so sorry.'

Now this is weird. Yeah, I'm pissed off with Mary. And yeah, I just kissed Eleanor. But I'm not ready to consign Mary to the pages of my sexual history. And Andy's readiness to commiserate seems to be making me want to spring to her defence. 'Oh, don't be sorry. I'm having a good time. I mean, there are issues, obviously, but I'm having my brains shagged out - like I said, no problem there.'

Andy looks confused. 'When did you find out?'

'Find out? Well, I've always known, really. I didn't mention it before because Mary doesn't like people knowing. She thinks they might react badly.'

'Look, mate.' Andy's voice has taken an oddly urgent tone, as if he's about to tell me something I ought to have known sooner. 'Devos are not good news. It might seem that way, but a good-looking guy like you ought to be concentrating on finding someone who'll love him for who he really is.'

---

Mary

I go over to him and give him a kiss. I want a cup of tea, but he's already got a Coke in his hand, so I wander over to the counter on my own. When I get back with my black-no-sugar, he's talking to Andy, who has appeared from somewhere. They seem to be arguing about something.

A few short steps later and I've overheard enough to realise that they are arguing about me.

'I can't believe you've brought her here,' Andy is hissing, loud enough for it to be clearly audible, and I know right away that I am 'her' - who else could he mean? I hang back a few paces to hear more. Neither of them has noticed me, they are too into each other.

'She wanted to come. She kept on about it,' David replies, and ouch, that hurts.

'But after you found out she was -'

'Don't, Andy, we're OK with it. It's cool.'

And that's about all I can take. As I wade in I notice Roberta is next to Andy giving me super-evils. It feel like the whole room is looking at me, but I force myself to keep my nerve. 'Found out I was what?' I spit, my teeth and nails coming out, my hair bristling. Of course I know what. I know what this is. This is the thing I was most scared of. This is the place where I always knew it would come out. And somehow, right in the moment, while this is happening, I also realise that I always knew it would be Andy who unmasked me.

And it's Andy who is squaring up to me right now. Even in his wheelchair he's a big guy and an imposing sight with his chest puffed out and his hackles set to stun.

'Found out what you were. What you want him for.'

'Which is what exactly?'

Andy looks at me. His expression changes. He starts off kind of angry, but then, scant seconds later, he just looks sad. 'How could you?' he says, quite calmly. 'He's such a lovely guy. Why can't you just leave him alone?'

I wish I could explain things to Andy. I wish I could make him understand what our relationship is like. In fact, what I truly wish is that this showdown had happened a week ago, when things with David were so blissful and ecstatic, because now things are sliding and I almost feel like Andy's words are a death knell. However, even if that is the case, there is no way I am letting him have the satisfaction of knowing that.

'Well, if that's what you think, why don't you ask him if he wants me to leave him alone? Actually, it's him who won't leave me alone.' I spit out the words, wanting to sound as angry as I feel.

'Yeah, right,' says Roberta, who is folding her arms and looking weirdly at me. She probably thinks I fancy Andy - her Andy - because, obviously, I can't wait to jump any man in a wheelchair. And she can fuck right off if she thinks I'm going to defend myself on that one, because I'm so not explaining that to anyone right now. How can I? I can't even explain it to myself.

But tough as I might be talking, there's a nasty lump forming at the back of my throat. I can feel it getting larger, making it harder and harder to talk, until I realise that if I don't stop having this conversation pretty damn quickly I am going to cry. 'Ask him, then.' I say quickly, as my voice starts to sound a bit weird. 'Ask him if wants me to leave him alone.'

And I know that if David doesn't back me up right now, I am out of here without him. No choice.

'OK,' says Andy. 'David?'

'What?' says David, as if he hasn't been a part of the conversation.

'Do you want her to leave you alone?' says Andy, rolling his eyes as he speaks, clearly as infuriated as I am by David's deliberate dumb insolence.

'Um.' David bites his lip. 'Um, shit, Andy, do we have to do this?'

Andy cocks his head in my direction. 'Her idea.'

'Fuck, David,' I say. Roberta snorts. Which makes me realise: I bet she'd love to. Fuck David, that is. Hell, how come I'm getting all the heat when, if anything, Roberta is the one who's got her tongue hanging out for every guy round here who's in a wheelchair?

'Oh god,' says David, so pissed off I can smell it. 'This is fucking stupid. I love Mary, you dumbass. I. Love. Her. Of course I want to be with her. And she always told me what she likes about me, that I'm in a chair, but I don't care. That isn't all she likes about me. She likes me because I'm hot. And I am. And she showed me that. I love her and I love having sex with her.'

And, oh my god, my heart just soars. I never saw that coming. I must be super buoyed up by this vote of confidence because then, as David says, 'And I love having sex with her,' I butt in with, 'And I'm going to go out to his car with him right now and have sex with him.'

---