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Post by Pony on Aug 16, 2008 14:38:52 GMT -5
Staring in the Mirror
Last night I caught a portion of a TV documentary on MSNBC called Female Bodybuilders which stole my interest away from the Olympics that I was desperately trying to watch, but found myself spending more and more time on the bikini-clad muscle girls.
I am still a man, you know!
Look, Beach Volleyball just wasn’t cutting it compared to the psychoanalysis of chicks that strive to achieve the perfect male physic.
Can’t us guys have anything to ourselves anymore? Guess not!
These girls were the envy of most of us pizza-stuffing, beer-bellied dudes that talk of working out more than workout. Muscles were protruding from areas of these girls I didn’t know had muscles.
That was all well and good, but it was the interviews with many of the Pro-bodybuilder women that intrigued me so much. I couldn’t help but see a common thread of neurosis that plagued each girl. The level of anxiety over every aspect of their body and appearance was draining, even from a spectator point of view. Some form of depression accompanied each woman, yet a high of accomplishment, or pushing her body beyond feminine limits, also was obvious in each. Still, the training, excessive diet, use of diuretics and stress level was just through the roof.
One bodybuilder, a very attractive African American woman in her mid-30s, who was also an attorney, seemed to be obsessed and extremely serious about every detail of her body. Single, and really a painfully shy person, she found empowerment with constant gym workouts and entering competitions that she sometimes was passed over causing an emotional low that was hard to watch.
My buddy has an on-and-off girlfriend that displays this identical compulsive behavior, and years ago, I had a girlfriend that worked out constantly, fighting depression all the while.
It has become clear to me that staring in the mirror too long can be the fastest way to become unhappy. Examining details of yourself, your looks, and comparing yourself to others can damage you inside so badly that you never really see the real you in the mirror.
After my accident that left me paralyzed from chest down, it has, at times, been a struggle not to compare myself now to my able-body self, or to others. It’s a dangerous thing to look at myself too much, even though, I’ll admit to possessing too much vanity. In order for me maintain happiness I must leave the examining and scrutinizing up to others. I just as well not hear the feedback. It doesn’t matter anyway. I am who I am. And there is no huge changes I can make, or want to make, besides dying my hair – shhhhh, now you know!
The point of all this is that focusing on yourself can be a positive force as we all want the best self-image possible, but, like anything else, can be the sword you fall on. Learn to appreciate the person staring back at you. Never take for granted your gifts as a complex human with your own unique story to tell. Always fall forward!
Staring in the mirror too long will surely expose things you don’t want to see.
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Post by Ouch on Aug 16, 2008 23:01:49 GMT -5
Interesting points, Tony. Good write-up...actually I was sort of thinking about the set of issues you make a point on...
The other day my girlfriend was totally refusing to look in a mirror (albeit in a more humourous way than not) due to what she perceived as an imperfection, which didn't exist. I think 'appreciating the person staring back at you' can be a powerful way to cast aside your sentiments of self-image. Even though I joke often about how horrible I look (well sometimes I'm serious too), when I can look at her and she tells me how good she thinks I look, I can truly appreciate her, and appreciate myself better. Her 'staring back at me' makes the best mirror of all!
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Post by Pony on Aug 17, 2008 16:29:27 GMT -5
I liked both your sentiments!! I think it's our competitive society that drives many of us crazy with 'image.' Some of it is probably just human nature, too, but it's when you get too caught up in yourself that you really start 'losing' yourself. My sister was extremely beautiful growing up, and she was obsessed with herself completely. It led to a lot of trouble, extreme selfishness, hypochondria. While her looks were a powerful tool over men, it also was a curse.
I find being in a chair can make you think too much about image, but it's just better on your mental health to just let it go. Hey, I'm headed to see the Bucs play tonight, so my image will be a 'screaming fan.' lol
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Post by Ouch on Aug 17, 2008 17:29:30 GMT -5
Totally off-topic; but GO PATRIOTS!
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Post by Triassic on Aug 17, 2008 21:39:32 GMT -5
the whole subject of women's clothes sizes is all too mysterious to me; so many variable numbers. guys don't have that at all. it's just S, M, L or XL...i suspect the reason women have all those 'sizes' is because no chick wants to be an L. haha
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Post by Pony on Aug 18, 2008 10:26:24 GMT -5
HOLY SHT!! Shocking YouTube clip, and that's what I was talking about - the obsession with 'self!!' I do have another buddy with a g/f who extremely underweight, about 70 lbs. She also excessively tans, so her skin is like dark leather. Her and my buddy are obvious alcoholics, too! I've never seen her eat anything, but she has this great vivacious personality. I mean her and my buddy live to party, and she's got a lot of money, doesn't work, lives on the beach. Here's the shocker to me, she's near my age, but looks 70. Her face is distorted so her features are hard to make out. i think it must come from years of Anorexia.
Windy, the Bucs game was killer last night - perfect weather, and didn't cost me a thing! My buddy had a parking pass, and he saw a buddy outside that gave him a ticket for me. Down here, you can usually buy tix outside cheap. i know that's not the way in Beantown!! I haven't been in a few years, and they've made few upgrades. The jumbo screens at each end of stadium are HD now, and it's fckin amazing, incredible clarity. And, this is funny, the cheerleaders strike these 'stripper' poses all night in between dance steps. i mean all they need is a pole, and it's strip club!!! lol
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Post by laurasweetou on Aug 24, 2008 17:00:16 GMT -5
Being very small all my life, and constantly being asked if I eat, when I eat, what I eat, down I actually eat it... I remember being 13, wearing a new, sey shirt and getting called a "skinny slut", "Wednesday" (from The Addams Family) for YEARS, one time I was even guilty of making fun of an over-weight co-worker because she embaressed me quite publicaly about my own weight. We all have self-image issues, small, not small, AB, non-AB, why can't we just get over it and enjoy life?
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Post by BA on Aug 24, 2008 17:49:24 GMT -5
The girl in that video was horrific looking - a living corpse. It pains me that anyone could actually 'aspire' to be like this. The last line she speaks in that little segment says it all really. Why she paints fake freckles on her face; so that nobody will actually look at her body, but instead focus on her eyes. So sad.
Noi, you worry me. Is it this thread that got your interest in eating disorders piqued along with discussion of your size (0/2) or are you having your own struggle with food right now? I can honestly say that at your age, I went through my own little weight loss issue and I became a little too interested in staying that thin... to the tune of actually losing my period b/c my body fat was so low. I hope you are truly comfortable with yourself at any size and not internalizing your Father's very inappropriate comments towards both you and your sister.
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Post by Ouch on Aug 24, 2008 22:34:50 GMT -5
She's a healthy weight, and eats fine, I can vouch personally for that .
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Post by BA on Aug 25, 2008 19:43:31 GMT -5
Thank goodness for that. Some of those vids were very scary.
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Post by Claire on Aug 31, 2008 13:17:47 GMT -5
The scariest part about that video are the comments. Anorexia is a horrible, devastating, often fatal disease. And people are calling her a ghoul, a monster, self-induced, and "I don't feel sorry for her, she did this to herself", "just eat!", "why not just turn vegan?" and my personal favorite "she needs therapy" (she *is* in therapy and therapy does NOT magically fix everything). Sheesh. Anorexia is awful, but what is even worse is the rank ignorance and cold-hearted utter lack of compassion showed by SO MANY so-called human beings.  |
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Post by BA on Aug 31, 2008 14:11:18 GMT -5
Claire, don't we treat the obese with the same disgust? They, quote: "do it to themselves" by being such insatiable pigs and having no self-control.
It never ceases to amaze me how absolutely surface we are as an entire culture.
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Post by Ouch on Aug 31, 2008 14:41:29 GMT -5
Generally, the worst (and the best) people you can find are on youtube and such, the Internet as a whole, as well. I don't think most people are like that in general - the medium just accentuates the contrast.
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