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Post by faith on May 21, 2009 18:06:06 GMT -5
Question for the guys...
All other things being equal (looks, personality, intelligence, chemistry, etc) would you prefer to date a girl that can see beyond the chair or a dev?
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Post by Pony on May 21, 2009 18:18:41 GMT -5
haha....funny you ask that!! I just said something about this in my post. Give me EITHER, as long as I have that personal chemistry that is OURS. The only thing about a Dev is that I might not know weather it's ME, or me being in a chair, that is the attraction. None of the girls I've had were Devs. I can tell you that assuredly.
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Post by matisse on May 21, 2009 19:10:19 GMT -5
Dev. Why not turn a negative to a positive. And probably a big fucking positive....
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on May 21, 2009 20:00:40 GMT -5
This is a tough question, but I think Tony summed it up pretty well for me. But, I'm never one to be satisfied with just saying "Yeah, me too" lol, soooo...
If I were to date (which in itself is kinda nondescript. Date once, date occasionally, serious date into exclusive, etc), but if I were to date someone beyond a "lets grab a bite & movie" stage, I'd have to know where her attraction lies. It's that damn honesty thing rearing it's ugly head, lol, be it with a dev or anyone else. Being a guy, and having the "total pig" gene guys possess, if it were just a friends with benefits type thing, then it probably wouldn't matter either way. But if it were a relationship, or a budding one, I'd would want to know that she is a dev and where the meat and potatoes attraction was. I'll go out on a limb and guess that the disability might be an initial attraction with a dev, and hopefully the person himself becomes the trigger to turn the heat up (can I use any other dumb cliches in this reply? lol). But I would like to know that ultimately, it's me first that rocks her boat and my disability is just a benefit that adds to it.
I must admit that I do like it that my future wife often has said that she sees me as me, and the wheelchair isn't factored in too much. I do like that because my disability doesn't define me any more than the color of my skin, my hair or my eyes. Society just loves to put everyone into these neat little convenient boxes that are clearly labeled, and I'm definitely not someone to try to force a label on. I'm not stupid (right, LOL) and I know that my disability is often seen in a negative light by the box keepers of society. Some women wouldn't dare dream of dating me or dragging me home when the bar closes because of my cripness. So be it. It used to bother me long ago, now I couldn't care less. I often chuckle to myself about how far off I am from many of their stereotypes and preconceived notions. I'd like to think that lots of people share that uniqueness thing, because being normal is boring ;D.
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Post by roger888 on May 22, 2009 1:18:18 GMT -5
Never dated a Dev ,so not easy to comment.Ithink whichever one you date they are going to like being around you & you're going to have some fun so initially I dont think there would be much o differentiate from.Eventually,whether I like that persons personality more than anothers will decide my preference.
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Post by E on May 22, 2009 7:59:34 GMT -5
I'd go dev...
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Post by Triassic on May 22, 2009 8:34:45 GMT -5
maybe i tend to make to much of stuff that is perhaps no more than semantics, a way of expression; but i really, really DO NOT like the whole business of Looking Past the disability, the chair, whatever, at least in the context of physical sex activity...as in-'my bf is such a great guy and treats me so well that i can Look Past the fact he's not all that attractive to me,to be honest.'
yeeeeeeeeee. i would NEVER EVER want a situation like that, personally. raw, physical sex and lust is super important to me. a partner has to be attracted to me on that basic level OR at least turned on and responsive to my Skills for things to work.
the hottest, finest woman in the world would be of no real sexual interest to me if she was frankly not attracted, or worse-grossed out-by my body, but for some other reason was willing to engage in physical intimacies.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2009 12:07:10 GMT -5
Isn't a wheeler and a dev a sort of balance in its self? The disability is something to over come and push through no matter what anyone says and if a woman/dev said to me oh well that is actually a perk! Well bring it on!
And personally I can only open up to someone who has made it through my "miserable, fuck off" force field and that includes me being attracted to them. I have few people in my life who I would call friends the rest are just people I've met. True friends beat a horde of good enough friends any day.
The lady I am with now when I first met her I tested her. I told her about paradevo and how its full of "freaks" (forgive me ladies I did not mean it!) And for a split second I noticed that she reacted to the term freaks. I don't think shes a dev but it made me wonder if maybe dev feelings and thoughts aren't so rare after all.
Dev all the way...the rest are just waiting converts lol.
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Post by Ouch on May 22, 2009 15:00:16 GMT -5
I think y'all know which one I'd pick...
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on May 22, 2009 20:28:57 GMT -5
I think that's the misconception. I think the majority of devos are attracted to the fact that the person is disabled not just the chair. It's just like if a guy likes big girls or red heads. I donno maybe nuts cause I'm new to this. But to answer yer question I think I'd go devo cause then I'd knw yeah this girl wants to fuck my brains out:) That's huge man! I'm I big Cynic when it comes to things like that.I never go up to girls because I don't feel like anyone would go for me and if someone did then I'd think well....she's just being nice or my friend payed her off or some shit....hehehe I knw I'm fucked up! I need some devo lovin stat! hahaha
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