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Post by irishclaire on Jul 4, 2009 17:10:20 GMT -5
Ok ladies, excuse the hysteria but I really can't talk about this anywhere else.
I recently joined a dating site, and (like everyone) got some unwanted attention. There was one particularly annoying guy who would just not take no for an answer. Anyway, I looked at his profile today and he has launched into a tirade of abuse against me! Said that all I was interested in was paralyzed feet (something I never actually said to him) and that when he refused to send me pics (again, something I didn't ask him to do) I threatened to kill him!! I'm sorry, have I got the wrong idea or is this just an example of a man having his ego dented and not taking it very well? It's really upsetting me!! I haven't been publicly attacked like this since I was 13!
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Post by devogirl on Jul 4, 2009 18:30:11 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear this! Without more details, it sounds like this is indeed a case of a guy taking out his aggressions on you. It's a horrible thing to have happen, but try not to take it personally. It's happened to me too; I've been accused of all sorts of terrible things after politely turning a guy down.
You can take the moral high ground, and try to just ignore it. Or depending on the site, this might be a terms of service violation. If it's a moderated site, see if there's someone you can complain to. If you think this might affect your chances with the non-crazy guys, and especially if you are worried about further attacks, try to get him stopped.
I know how devastating it is to be attacked like this, where you feel the most vulnerable. It's hard to hear your worst fears flung back at you ("you're only interested in my paralyzed feet!" or whatever). Ironically, it's usually when I have turned a guy down because I don't like his personality that I have been accused of only being interested in his body.
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Post by Enid on Jul 5, 2009 6:05:47 GMT -5
There quite a few psychos out there. I've talked to guys who didn't seem to be quite right in the head, but at least they didn't try to throw their anger towards me. I once did meet a guy who wanted to fuck with my head and even threatened me with physical violence... he really creeped me out.
A year or so later, in the same community, I found a topic made from the owner of the site warning about him. Apparently he was a pretender who had been harassing disabled and devotee women alike.
I'd say try to report him. If he's that crazy you probably won't be the only one to do so, and the moderators might do something about it.
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Post by irishclaire on Jul 5, 2009 9:16:40 GMT -5
I've reported him, but what will that achieve? I've also had someone who has been snooping on this site find me and continue to aim his immaturity in my direction. Where have all the good men gone?!
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annie
Full Member
Posts: 197
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Post by annie on Jul 5, 2009 16:51:24 GMT -5
Where have all the good men gone?! I'm pretty much convinced they are all gay and/or married to their high school or college sweethearts. The good ones get scooped up early. Sorry to hear about the harassment, though. That is why I am leary of using online dating sites. People feel like they can treat others poorly b/c they are shrouded by the cover of the internet. |
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Post by BA on Jul 5, 2009 20:51:09 GMT -5
I am also so sorry that you have been attacked like this. It is really hard not to take it personally, but you have to realize where it is coming from and it's not you. I suppose the best answer is not to read anything sent to you by these wackos, but that is easier said than done.
Annie, I do think there are great guys out there and I've heard guys say the same about finding good women. It takes luck, patience and alot of serendipity to meet one of the "good" people.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Jul 5, 2009 21:38:46 GMT -5
I don't have any useful advice. But I can imagine how upsetting that is. I'm sorry he's done that to you.  Hugs, |
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Jul 5, 2009 23:16:10 GMT -5
Thanks, bananas.  You're a doll. Thanks for the points. |
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Post by irishclaire on Jul 6, 2009 15:59:40 GMT -5
Thanks ladies. I'm just fed up with all the BS!!
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Post by laurasweetou on Jul 7, 2009 20:21:58 GMT -5
I've had my own experience with attacks on this site, and I found it best to just leave it alone and let the moderators (like devogirl, she's great!) handle it. I know how hurtful and angering it can be and I feel for you, but it sounds like you're doing great. Good luck!
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Post by irishclaire on Jul 8, 2009 8:01:09 GMT -5
Well, he got banned. But he's back, and took great delight in telling me so. Loser.
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You're a doll.