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Post by jon1362 on Jul 5, 2009 21:24:40 GMT -5
I'm a wheeler. Any of you who have read my messeges on other threads. I'm sorry if I seem arrogent, because I'm really not, I'm actually very very sweet. I'm still adjusting to the dev thing. I'm new to this all, I just found out about devs 2 days ago. Being disabled, I guess I just don't like any kind of label. We're all just people, there never needs to be an explanation for being different. Like people may call me a wheeler, disabled, handicap, I do not care for the labels or to be put in a category, being called these things does not make me angry. Just wish we all can be indivuals and not label eachother based on our difference. Ex, black man, can't he just be called a man? disabled-man, how about just a man? lol I do understand sometimes we need these labels to make sense of things and narrow things down so we don't overlook people who really do need more help than most people. It seems like a perfect world if we all could be treated the same but I agree it's impossible, because everyone is different and has different needs. So then we're back to treating everyone like a unique individual, so the label should be who that person is as a whole, 1 word is not enough to label someone. I'm a wheeler but hey I'm sure I am unique as myself too, there's no one else like me. I'm Jon, wheeler, duchenne muscular dystrophy from Rochester NY. There's a better label. Sorry if that was too much analyzing, I think too much sometimes, lol.
Hey a wheeler is anyone in a wheelchair right? Does it matter if it's manual or motorized? Does he have to use it all the time to be a wheeler? Do some devs just like those wheelchair basketball guys and others that like anyone in a wheelchair, etc? Just curious. Hey, if you don't know about it, look up power wheelchair soccer. I know lots of guys who play that, I use to when I could. If anyone wants to see my pic just email me, dumdum18@rochester.rr.com or AIM me JTiger14, or see profile. Someone mentiioned to me I act like I found a miracle here, to be honest, I kind of have, I've been turned down so many damn times it sucks, I'm sick of just being the friend. It rips me up inside sometimes. I feel I may never find someone to love me before I leave this earth. So yes it feels like a bit of a miracle to know there's people out there devoted and actually attracted to people like myself. I'm still lost on how to find and hook up w/ female devs, where are they hiding? Please come out of the wood work, lol. I wonder if there are any devs in Rochester NY. The strippers like me lol, I went to a strip club for first time last week, they're getting paid to be nice to me though. I just love the feeling of affection, even if it's fake. In my heart, I really do wish for some real affection, genuine touch, true kisses. I am a christian but I keep a lot of it to myself because I don't feel like everyone really understands my views and understanding of god and life. I do wish to have someone I love and trust to share with. OK I'm tired, that's all for now. Hope that wasn't too long. Thanks. Peace.
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Post by irishclaire on Jul 6, 2009 16:04:27 GMT -5
You say that you've been 'turned down so many damn times'...that's not always because of the chair. When you introduce yourself to people like you did on this board, you can forgive them for being a bit wary.
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Post by jon1362 on Jul 6, 2009 16:35:18 GMT -5
I don't introduce myself like that, I had an off day, I am sorry, and I said sorry on that board. I wasn't being myself, I screwed up, please forgive me and I hope you will get to know the real me. I was stupid to be so arrogent and full of myself. Truthfully, I never act like that, the ones who have turned me down do love me, tell me I'm a sweetheart and genuine. And oh I'm so great and a wonderful person. Then the "BUT" Sorry for the first impression but please know that wasn't me and give me a chance for redemption, ty.
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Post by jon1362 on Jul 6, 2009 16:36:29 GMT -5
Anyone got any good answers to my questions? thanks. :-)
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Jul 6, 2009 18:02:25 GMT -5
Not for nothing, Jon, but AB's reply to your introduction thread made me laugh. You were pretty disrespectful and assuming, and she called you on it.
As part of a minority yourself, you should understand about, and be hypersensitive to, people putting labels and preconceived notions on you. We crips deal with that crap every day.
Just be yourself, Jon. Relax and take a step back. There's some nice people here.
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Post by matisse on Jul 6, 2009 21:02:28 GMT -5
I'm still lost on how to find and hook up w/ female devs, where are they hiding? I suggest you go to wheelchair sporting events. Probably a higher proportion of devs there, and probably a lot of them don't even know they are devs. It also seems there is also a higher concentration of devs among nurses and physical therapists in the places where there is rehab for SCI's, at least judging by the anecdotes you hear from folks who went through some sort of rehab. But I am not sure how you would get yourself in there. Maybe some sort of volunteering? There have been a few hookups through this board, probably even more behind the scenes. But since your introduction was a bit rocky, it may take a while, especially since board traffic can be very low. |
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Post by devogirl on Jul 6, 2009 21:19:33 GMT -5
Thank you Matisse. I feel like I've said this a dozen times already, but it bears repeating: this is not a dating site. This is not a dating site. This is not a dating site.
A few people have met through this board, but they are the extreme minority. I know of only two couples in long-term relationships that met here. That's it, just two.
We're here to chat online. That's it. The more you participate in conversations, the more likely you are to attract positive attention and maybe make friends. That goes for you guys over in the personals section too. The more you participate, the more we get to know you. It's no different than dating in the AB/non-dev world. Make friends first.
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Post by jon1362 on Jul 6, 2009 22:03:34 GMT -5
thanks peeps. I'm looking to learn really, that's all. I doubt there are devs on here from aroud where I live anyway. I'm not saying they'r aren't or won't be but haven't seen any yet. But it would be nice if this site could be used as an avenue for disabled and devotee dating sites (I know it already is but I mean more sites) adn how us disabled may possibly find devs. I'm sure you'r right, I'm probably unlikely to meet anyone on this. It is good to know by my original somewhat innapropriate introduction, that just because someone is disabled or in a wheelchair, doesn't mean devs automaticly like you and want you. Disabled can still be jerks and disliked just like anyone can be. It happens to be the case, I'm actually not a disrespectful jerk, could of fooled you huh? lol I'm really not, I do seem to make mistakes a lot in that area. I almost lost my gf, now my ex. In a club where i 1st met her, I was hitting on all these girl, acting all full of myself, she said she thought I was a jerk. Just like many of u think or may have thought. I tend to make this mistake, I don't know why, sometimes I lose myself. Maybe I'm overcompensating, trying not to be shy, self consiouse, insecure, etc. So then I act like a jerk, I overcompensate and I lose myself and have to bring myself back down to earth. Once I started being myself, my gf fell in love with me because I'm sweet, kind, funny, and so much more. She seen past my disability. I hope I can do the same with you all and show you the real me. Thank you.
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Post by Triassic on Jul 7, 2009 9:42:18 GMT -5
hold up now...you've been saying repeatedly on othr theads here that you've NEVER had any sex/romance from the ladies, no play at all, never, nada, zip, etc, etc...
but now you mention a 'gf' or at least an ex, who 'fell in love' w/you. eh? huh?
you need to get your story straight.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2009 10:48:35 GMT -5
That is quite the contradiction.
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Post by jon1362 on Jul 7, 2009 12:09:09 GMT -5
OK, we weren't together long at all in person. We met online and had a long distance relationship for like 2 years. Then I met her and found out about all the things she has lied about, she really wasn't the person I thought I knew. I tried to just forget it and still be with her, I just couldn't get past all the lies. How she could lie right in my ear on the phone for so long and not even be bothered by it. She said she was never with another man for those 2 years but I found out she went out with men and slept with many men, like 20 or something. Sorry you don't know the entire story, it's very screwed up. OK, you may think it's wierd and I know it didn't sound like it above, but the club was online in this virtual world game. Where I met her. It's hard meeting people out in the world, I'm just more shy in real life, when I'm not behind the computer screen. I hope you don't think I'm making up stories. Think what you want though. So I couldnt get past it, so I broke up with her before we did really anything together in real life, in person. That's really what happened. I can see how it could have been taken as a contradiction if you don't got entire story. I know, I'm wierd, sorry. :-)
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Post by Ray T on Jul 7, 2009 13:30:12 GMT -5
it is ok to be wierd, we are all a bit strange in someone's eyes... but i have mett a couple people fron here on the board.. 1 dev and one wheeler chick... both are really good people and we are good friends... but as far a romance... well i blew that with the Dev... and no chem with the wheeler.... so hang in there i know i am hanging in... still waiting for that dev to sewwp me off my feet
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Post by matisse on Jul 8, 2009 15:43:52 GMT -5
my original somewhat inappropriate introduction Personally I don't think it was that bad, it seemed more like chicks just being their usual over-sensitive selves. (  ) However, your subsequent comments remind me of the telephone answering machine debacle in Swingers....... |
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