Bisexual devoteeism - strange?

[lindab535]

In my regular day to day life I consider myself purely heterosexual. Married to a man, never even kissed a women. Maybe twice in all my life even slightly attracted to an AB woman and not much at that (versus 100s of guys or more.)

My married sex life is really only so-so and the only thing that gets me jump started in bed is thinking about doing it with someone in a chair/on crutches, etc.

The really weird part for me is that it's 50/50 men women. I love the idea of getting together with a disabled woman just as much as with a disabled man. Most of the more attractive disabled people I have seen in real life (though not all) are actually women, for what it's worth. My two most exciting sightings are as follows (years ago and never shared before right now):

1. leaving the mall in Atlanta at dusk. In parking lot, I found myself behind a very standardly beautiful (in the sorority kind of way) woman close to my own age who walked with a lot of difficulty on crutches back to her car. I strained my brain for anything I could possibly do or say to talk to her but nothing came to mind and the moment passed. I have been sexually excited about it for literally more than 10 years now. sigh

2. Even longer ago, I was in a martini bar in Austin, TX. A rather drunk disabled girl was being helped by her friend in the stall next to me. She had falled to the floor and the two of them were laughing hysterically. I got a glimpse of her and she was also quite attractive conventionally and I remember being attracted to her with a real kind of crazy passion. Memorable anyway.

Some other sightings of wheelchair or crutching women in, say, Target, still stick with me as really wonderful and memorable although I never spoke to any of these women and the time was actually extremely short.

I have seen disabled men too that have been attractive to me (though only a few) and have wanted to talk to them and not but none of those incidents were really as memorable.

I hae to say that most recently someone emailing me a link to disabled danced Dergin Tokmak on Youtube has gotten these juices really flowing for me this summer. So hot. Check him out.

Regards.

[lindab535]

quick clarification - the crutches in question have to, for me, be the sort that disabled folks use. Not the kind people use with broken legs, etc. That doesn't turn me on. (This is the case in my 2 example stories).

thanks

Hope you don't think I'm too weird.

[faith]

Linda- JUST yesterday I was on YouTube and watching some clips. Came across a woman, around my age who is a quad telling her story about her day. There was absolutely nothing sexual about her video, just her talking. I would describe her looks as average.
But somehow, in her story, I got caught up in the moment. I suddenly had dev feelings- the total, sexual arousal type. I don't know that those feelings were directed AT her, but they were very strong.

This wasn't the first time for me. It usually happens more in real life rather than virtual- but I have had sexual feelings for disabled women. Never (not even once) for AB women.
It is all so complicated and so strange!

[CJ]

Linda,

Thanks for bringing this up. I was actually just going to post something loosely related to this subject. I am bi and have had experience with both men and women, however, my dev feelings only seem to exist toward men. I have been thinking about this and have found it odd.

I don't know if it's because I typically see many more disabled men than women. Maybe it has something to do with a rejection of stereotypical gender roles. Not that disabled men are not masculine, but more because I reject the typical macho alpha male. I'm really not sure, but it is interesting to see a different perspective such as yours.

[lindab535]

I'm not into the alpha male type either. I am our family's primary breadwinner (by far), for example. Something about beautiful disabled people - regardless of their sex - turns me on enormously - more than pretty much anything else.

Nice talking to folks who are even semi-like-minded.

Luckily for me this obsession rears its head once every couple of years for a few weeks and then I can put it away. It is hot and heavy for me right now.

I am permanently excited. (FWIW) which never happens.

regards

[devogirl]

Interesting topic! I am also bisexual. I have dated girls (and let me tell you, there's nothing like having a girlfriend to make you sympathetic to hetero guys--being on the other end of the "what's wrong?" "nothing" conversation made me want to tear my hair out).

But I am not at all interested in disabled women, never have been. It just doesn't give me that devo thrill at all. I'm not sure why, but it must have something to do with traditional gender roles, as CJ said. Or maybe it has to do with otherness, being attracted to someone who's either totally unlike me or just like me, but not somewhere in between. It's a strange thing I have often wondered about but I have no definitive answer.

[canadiandev]

Jul 18, 2009 12:07:27 GMT -5 devogirl said:

... but it must have something to do with traditional gender roles, as CJ said. Or maybe it has to do with otherness...

I'm bi, as well, and not especially attracted to disabled women. It's always been about men for me. Mainly wheelers, men who use crutches, and arm amputees.

I agree with CJ and devogirl - I think it has to do with a combination of bucking traditional gender roles and embracing a sense of otherness.

Due to having to do things differently than most, I think that disabled men may have a more flexible view of what humans are capable of, in a gender sense.

I grew up a bit geeky, artsy, and the black sheep of the family. So my attraction may also stem from a feeling of connection with someone else who's experienced "otherness".

Hm, there seem to be several bi people out here. Wondering whether there is a larger proportion of bi people in the devotee community?

[Enid]

Jul 19, 2009 13:54:50 GMT -5 canadiandev said:

Hm, there seem to be several bi people out here. Wondering whether there is a larger proportion of bi people in the devotee community?

Yeah, I was actually thinking of making "a poll" before this post came up. The topic has come up a few times, although as far as I remember Linda seems to be the first one who is interested in disabled girls. They don't do anything special for me either... I've thought about it but I haven't gotten any answers, to be honest.

[Claire]

Must belatedly chime in here. For the longest time I was only interested in men, esp. disabled men. Then at one point I realized I was VERY attracted to disabled women too. I think I'm on record here in the past as saying that I was only attracted to disabled women as a devotee but not attracted to women in general. Later I started to realize that I was indeed attracted to women in general, it wasn't just a dev thing, it's just that it was really hard to admit to myself that I really am bi. I think a bit like devogirl though. The female form is lovely but I can't actually picture myself having a relationship with a woman because I don't really like most women that much. I definitely prefer male companionship.

[Neffie]

I know this is an old topic but I'm moving my way through them slowly.
This is something that I have often considered I guess. I too have been with women but mainly out of necessity and drunkenness LOL, I don't have feelings for them and 100% love men.

I find that I will get a case of the Dev's when I watch a film or something with a disabled woman in it...trying to think here, like Naomi Watts in Persons Unknown. There's never the same intensity as seeing a guy in a chair and part of me projects myself onto the women although I've never been a pretender. I do think my feelings here are also to do with guys especially being carried by an AB guy.

It's a really interesting question but I have never seen a disabled woman in real life and had this happen.

[canadiandev]

Lately my interests have been shifting. Less para and more quad or crutches (kind of opposites, I guess). Has anyone else had their feelings shift around?

[Samantha]

Unlike most it seems, I knew i was bi before I knew what a dev was. (Recently discovered!) I had a harder time accepting my devoteeism than being bi however i am younger and being gay is widly accepted in my generation. Anyway I'v always been attracted to both. I never dated a disabled women before tho im very much atteracted but the women i have dated were very complicated and dramatic. Didn't work at all.

[wheelbaby]

Apr 3, 2010 1:09:23 GMT -5 Samantha said:

Unlike most it seems, I knew i was bi before I knew what a dev was. (Recently discovered!) I had a harder time accepting my devoteeism than being bi

Hi girls ,

I can only nod at Samantha's words. The order was the same in my life as well.
I live in a long-term hetero relationship with the most wonderful fiance who accepts both my bi and my dev/wannabe being.
As for me, I'm attracted to abled bodied females and disabled males. (And yes, I often fantasize about my sweetie, getting disabled somehow... NOT because I wish that to happen to him. It's simply happening to me...)

Nice discussion , I'm happy to find you

Hugs