Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
tired
Jul 23, 2009 11:38:14 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2009 11:38:14 GMT -5
I guess this question might relate better to other quads but really for anyone with a difficult situation. Am I the only one that just gets tired of "the life"? I just passed my 13th year in a chair and I still feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I know everyone has struggles but I NEVER get a rest. I would give anything for just one day of reprieve when I didn't have to deal with all the issues and physical limitations. Get up and go to bed when I want to. Go do some fishing by myself, not have to get help from anyone. Maybe I'm just bitchy today.
|
|
|
tired
Jul 23, 2009 15:12:14 GMT -5
Post by Triassic on Jul 23, 2009 15:12:14 GMT -5
fact is, anyone dealing w/quadriplegia is living a Rough Life-on a par w/a prison lifer, a soldier in endless combat, a penniless refugee, a mother whose child has been killed, etc, etc...there's no end of examples of great human suffering. what i mean is that being an SCI quad, or any quad, really; is an Extreme Situation. ' it's not popular to acknowledge that tho. it's 'engaging in self-pity', focussing on your limitations', so say some. i disagree. i think someone in such an extremely hard, lifelong situation MUST admit what they are really, truly feeling about things(if only to themselves)...if not, they risk a psychological disconnect of gigantic proportions further down the road, when they can no longer pretend everything is cool.
ALSO...i've found that there is still often a lot of enjoyment and fun and interest to life. it's like the bad and the good can somehow exist concurrently. i think you have to try to accept both. and DEFINITELY count those blessings you DO have.
|
|
|
tired
Jul 23, 2009 16:39:20 GMT -5
Post by gloriana on Jul 23, 2009 16:39:20 GMT -5
Mr. NG, I hear you. Triassic's got it right. Anyone doing hard time wants a break and it's understandable. Sometimes life sucks. When it does and you say so, you aren't feeling sorry for yourself. Truth is truth.
My own particular situation has been going on for nearly eight months. I would love to have a week where it didn't exist, but it does. I wish I could drive up into the mountains and rent a cabin for a week, but the problems are still there. They'd be with me in my mind and heart and would be waiting for me when I got back home.
And Triassic's right about being able to find things in your life that bring you pleasure. Me? Peach pie. Yep. that'll do it.
|
|
|
tired
Jul 24, 2009 1:08:29 GMT -5
Post by roger888 on Jul 24, 2009 1:08:29 GMT -5
Only a para here so can't fully appreciate what its like to be a quad.I know from my own experiences that where you are in your life & how much time you have to think about it all can make things worse.
|
|
Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
|
tired
Jul 25, 2009 19:06:15 GMT -5
Post by Phil on Jul 25, 2009 19:06:15 GMT -5
I guess this question might relate better to other quads but really for anyone with a difficult situation. Am I the only one that just gets tired of "the life"? I just passed my 13th year in a chair and I still feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I know everyone has struggles but I NEVER get a rest. I would give anything for just one day of reprieve when I didn't have to deal with all the issues and physical limitations. Get up and go to bed when I want to. Go do some fishing by myself, not have to get help from anyone. Maybe I'm just bitchy today. Everyone has these days. Tri's second paragraph summed it up pretty nicely. For me, I just put the negative BS out of the way and surround myself with upbeat people. The way that I see it, negative BS is going to be there if you're laughing or not. For me, I'd rather go through it laughing. So when the $hit hits the fan, I try seeing the humor in it. Does it always work? No. It'll still bite your a$$ some days. But it does most of the time, and "some" beats "none" in my eyes. I guess it's my own coping skill. I think I'd be certifiably insane by now if I didn't do it. Some would say that I'm already there, but the voices in my head just say "Ignore those people."
|
|
|
tired
Aug 11, 2009 15:49:45 GMT -5
Post by yoell on Aug 11, 2009 15:49:45 GMT -5
I agree with mrniceguy. It is tough. I am only two and half years out, and I have those feelings too. Thoughts about being happy with you have if different than a daydream. I would say his thoughts are a daydream, and another form of coping. By, having that daydream can be good to assist in coping. I appreciate his thoughts. I daydream of walking again, just because it would be so much easier, which helps me cope with the day to day challenges. It is a daily battle, and taking a brake in my mind is a good. It is hope. So, mrniceguy I appreciate your thought, and agree.
|
|
|
tired
Aug 16, 2009 12:53:21 GMT -5
Post by Pony on Aug 16, 2009 12:53:21 GMT -5
Man Triassic, I think that might've been the smartest thing you've ever posted. hehe So, I might take it easy on you when we meet in the ring. But seriously Niceguy, our life comes with internalized pain, frustration and stress. i called my two buddies today, and they were riding bikes on Daytona beach checking out chicks. No one will ever know how bad I'd love to had been doing that, but I take the punch in the stomach and move on. I just can't let that stuff ruin my day - too much stuff i love to do!! Triassic is right, you can't bury your head in the sand that EVERYTHING IS JUST WONDERFUL, and that's why i hate media stories that constantly report 'how this strong young man may be paralyzed, but he never looks'. Fuck that, you have to embrace BOTH sides. What we have is the next worse thing from being dead - man, it's crazy how much it sucks, BUT, i'm personally soooo fuckin happy/appreciative for the abilities i have, and the 2nd chance at rebuilding the new Tony. So hang in the struggle, and know you're not alone by any means. All us quads are in prison, man!
|
|
|
tired
Aug 16, 2009 18:21:32 GMT -5
Post by mike on Aug 16, 2009 18:21:32 GMT -5
MrNiceGuy, Each of us, regardless of the life situation in which we find ourselves, cannot materially change the situation. Worrying, fretting, complaining etc. won’t change our physical situation. What we can do is make the best of what we have. That does not suggest we can, or should, avoid normal human emotions. When life sucks, it’s normal to feel depressed, and this applies to anything. For most people, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of physical capability and in some cases actual loss of a body part will trigger a depressed mood. While we cannot change those facts, we do ultimately adjust to some degree. Things like enjoying the company of friends help a lot, but depression deters the very activities that help mitigate the feelings. If I was in charge of such things, I would propose an occasional vacation from your physical situation. We try to pass laws about all sorts of stuff that laws cannot possibly resolve, why not a mandatory day off from physical disability? Mike’s proposed new law: Everyone gets weekends off, two weeks a year plus holidays. By congressional decree, you get time off like everyone else. Oh and time off for good behavior, no fighting, and you get additional time for special events such as weddings and graduations. Oh and also brief moments to deal with irritating issues like doorways and stairs. Triassic, no fair using your brief moments off for your upcoming battle with Tony, you know that’s cheating.
|
|