Romantic Notion or the Real Thing?

[Valkyrja]

Lately I've been reading a lot of "dev" material that I've downloaded from different places of the web. And I have noticed of a detail that has gotten me powerfully the attention and that I would like to share it with you:
The romantic notion vs. The real thing.
When I was young I used to write stories (romances, dramas, suspence, science fiction), my male main character was always (obviously) a dissabled man (like I have commented a long time ago, my devness is there since I have memory). But, in that time, internet didn't exist so you could only appeal to books; and, if you added that the information that I had available was only what I found in encyclopedias or Medical treaties, my knowledge of the reality, of the daily life of a wheeler were completely null.
With the years, although my devness and my desire for knowledge grew, I've never had the courage of looking for other women with my same liking. So I continued writing and enjoying the "Romantic Notion" of my devness.
Since I found Paradevo I took contact with the reality or the daily life of a wheeler; and with this I refer, for example, to the catheterization or any daily process that is different to that of an AB guy. I don't know if these daily processes changed in something your devness or not... personally, I just took it like a new information and itdidn´t affected my liking.
This comes to collation because I´ve got some stories from internet that have made me see how much PD has changed me... I find the lack of realism that exists in that stories (in spite of being romances) very unattractive making making me stop the reading. Contrary to the reading from the Stories of PD, these are the typical "pink" novels where nobody goes to the bathroom, nobody baths, nobody seems human.
I aim to this: ... have I lost my "romantic notion?" or have I simply grown up?
Did you passed from something similar?

[BA]

Great question, Valkyr! I do not think you have lost romantic notion at all. Because of your interest in the real daily life of a wheeler (let's say that you are using as your example, spinal cord injury), you have taken the time to research the realities of the situation. Now when you read the 'pink' fiction, it seems silly and untrue to you and it's purely based in fantastical notions and that drains away much of the emotional charge. It's just too silly and unrealistic. When I read any dev based fiction about a guy with SCI and he is 'cumming and cumming' multiple times during a marathon sex act, it can even be a turn off because I realize that the author does not know his or her subject matter. The whole thing seems cheesy and false to me. If you ever do have a relationship with a wheeler, you may find you become even more judgemental of some of this fiction, because now you have your own basis of reality to compare to.

It's like anything else. As an example, if you have always enjoyed art and then you take lessons or courses in the history of art, painting techniques, appreciation - you begin to look at all art with a new eye. It takes on a new depth and you can spot what is good art because you have a perspective from which you are now looking.

Your taste in fiction has been elevated to a new level. So, I guess you could say you've 'grown up' or just grown in knowledge and understanding.

[Neffie]

I find that bowel movements really affect my enjoyment of romantic fiction.
You're the same as all of us. We read the crap that is written and think it's unrealistic but if it was more realistic then no one else would read it.

We know what we like and create our own fiction AND reality. It's all good

[Devoblue]

Recently I haven't been reading as much devo fiction as I'd like to but still do peruse videos online. I've always been more of a visual person anyways. I'd much rather see a real wheeler transferring or going about daily activities than watching an actor portray a wheeler in a film. I so wish there were either more disabled actors or more directors willing to work with genuine disabled actors. Realistically I know it's got to do with the fact that it's a quite small proportion of people that would have the perspective we do and would notice the difference in detail between an AB guy in a wheelchair and an actual wheeler. But I still don't get anywhere near the enjoyement watching an able bodied guy play that role...all of the physical attributes aren't right. For example the legs that have far too much muscle tone..no little belly from paralysis. I know it's been said before but thank heavens for youtube!