have you lived your fantasy?

[Devoblue]

Oct 13, 2010 7:08:30 GMT -5 Inigo Montoya said:

Oct 13, 2010 6:35:33 GMT -5 @sweetlia said:

It's definitely worth the wait...but something strange happened to me a while ago.

Before my current bf and I decided we wanted to get serious, we took a little break from each other, we both wanted to make sure this is what we wanted. Moving my whole life for someone is not something I have done before and I wanted to take it seriously make the right decision.

During that time, I went on a date with another guy who is a para. He was a really nice guy, dinner was great, good conversation, he was funny but something just wasn't right, something was missing. I didn't feel attracted or turned on by him at all! Not the least bit! So that was a strange feeling for me.

And when my bf and I got back together, I just knew he was the one for me. The attraction was instant and the chemistry we have is incredible. Am I a true dev? I don't know. I do find guys in wheelchair sexy but I think my feelings for my bf goes deeper than just him being a quad, our relationship has evolved to a whole different level. It just feels right, so I can say I am living my fantasy now and even more.

Awesome.

I second Inigo's comment. It just proves the point again that we aren't going to be with a guy strictly because of his being a wheeler. There has to be more...without wanting to sound cliche'd, it really is the whole package. Sweetlia it's really wonderful that you've found that. Congrats.

[jordsbaby]

I was with my ex-partner (c5/c6) for four years, which include some of the highest and lowest points in my life. A pivotal point of our relationship was that he would constantly leave it, and say he wasn't good enough for me, or that he didn't feel like he was supposed to have relationships. But I was always there waiting for when he came to his senses again and we'd make up and it'd all be okay until the next time. My relationship involved a bucketload of patience and understanding, sometimes we both got frustrated but it all just came together eventually. Being with someone from a young age (I'd just turned 15 when we got together, moved in nine months later) I just got used to being with a man who needed my help for a lot of things. In a lot of ways it felt like I was the older one in the relationship, I grew up pretty quickly when I was a teenager.

Then it was the final straw for me when I got pregnant and expected him to be excited, but instead he left and said he never wanted it. I knew he'd try and come back in through the door eventually, but I've made it clear to him that I'll be raising MY little girl the way I want to, and if he wants to contribute he'll have to prove it. I'd rather be with a man who can love me and my daughter because we exist. I don't want to be taken advantage of and be the swinging, revolving door in life.

tl;dr - Yes, I've been with a wheeler.

[BA]

So, he was able to impregnate you and father your child but he feels 'not good enough' to be having relationships. Sounds like he was more of a commitment-phobe than anything else. It's too bad, but better to have your child eventually accept someone else as a father than to have someone who really doesn't care.

[jordsbaby]

Well Ellie was an accident, and to be honest I always think that it was in the back of my mind that he wouldn't stay. I suppose I was mostly prepared for it.

[faith]

Yes. It is better than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. Amazing, incredible and scarily happy. Never thought this could happen to me- it is worth the wait and all the stupid things I did leading up to this!

[Emma]

Faith did you just have your first dev experience??? Tell, tell, tell...please.

[BA]

Yes, Faith really do tell! Don't wheelers just do it better?