Post by ruthmadison on Jan 19, 2011 10:27:16 GMT -5
I wanted to share my experience with seeing a therapist this past year.
The first time I was "sent" to therapy by my parents it was with the idea of fixing my devness. I had just come out of a bad relationship with a disabled man and I was a mess and I was exhausted. My parents hoped that it was "out of my system" and I hoped so too. But it wasn't. They found out that I was going to disability expo events for vets in the area and were upset.
The first therapist I went to, I didn't like much. She was too hippie-dippie for me, which is saying a lot. I'm a bit of a hippie myself and come from hippie lineage! This woman was all about "you're okay, I'm okay, everything is fine." That wasn't what I wanted. While I wasn't interested in making my devness go away, I did want someone who was willing to look at and explore its darker aspects.
I quit and moved to another state.
Then a very dear friend was killed in a car accident. After a few months of not handling it very well, my parents suggested therapy again. A different reason this time, so I was less resistant, though I'm sure they were still hoping for a cure for me.
My new therapist is great and has made an amazing change in my life. I didn't think therapy would be useful to me because I'm already extremely self-analytical and I read Psychology Today and took classes in college, etc.
What it has really given me is validation. I talk with my therapist about devoteeism and she does not judge and she does not try to change it, but she listens to my concerns about it.
I carry a lot of guilt with me and she pointed out that unless I did something with a malicious intent, I have no reason to feel guilty.
She helped me let go of my need to please everyone.
She showed me the ways in which I was trapped in an ambivalent existence because I was afraid to be myself.
She gave me permission to explore my own personality. Instead of trying to make myself into the ideal person I was taught to be, she encouraged me to let go of what I had been taught and be okay with being as I am.
I have never felt so free. The transformation in me is stunning. I have become confident, happy, at peace. I still have some depressed moments, but over all I've come out of a shell.
My friends have noticed, they say I have blossomed.
This was not the outcome that my family was looking for, but the therapist says they should be happy that I'm happy and not look too closely at the source of the happiness.
I tell you this so that you know that therapy can be a really good thing and if you find the right person, you can get help on the journey to loving yourself and being at peace with your sexuality.
The first time I was "sent" to therapy by my parents it was with the idea of fixing my devness. I had just come out of a bad relationship with a disabled man and I was a mess and I was exhausted. My parents hoped that it was "out of my system" and I hoped so too. But it wasn't. They found out that I was going to disability expo events for vets in the area and were upset.
The first therapist I went to, I didn't like much. She was too hippie-dippie for me, which is saying a lot. I'm a bit of a hippie myself and come from hippie lineage! This woman was all about "you're okay, I'm okay, everything is fine." That wasn't what I wanted. While I wasn't interested in making my devness go away, I did want someone who was willing to look at and explore its darker aspects.
I quit and moved to another state.
Then a very dear friend was killed in a car accident. After a few months of not handling it very well, my parents suggested therapy again. A different reason this time, so I was less resistant, though I'm sure they were still hoping for a cure for me.
My new therapist is great and has made an amazing change in my life. I didn't think therapy would be useful to me because I'm already extremely self-analytical and I read Psychology Today and took classes in college, etc.
What it has really given me is validation. I talk with my therapist about devoteeism and she does not judge and she does not try to change it, but she listens to my concerns about it.
I carry a lot of guilt with me and she pointed out that unless I did something with a malicious intent, I have no reason to feel guilty.
She helped me let go of my need to please everyone.
She showed me the ways in which I was trapped in an ambivalent existence because I was afraid to be myself.
She gave me permission to explore my own personality. Instead of trying to make myself into the ideal person I was taught to be, she encouraged me to let go of what I had been taught and be okay with being as I am.
I have never felt so free. The transformation in me is stunning. I have become confident, happy, at peace. I still have some depressed moments, but over all I've come out of a shell.
My friends have noticed, they say I have blossomed.
This was not the outcome that my family was looking for, but the therapist says they should be happy that I'm happy and not look too closely at the source of the happiness.
I tell you this so that you know that therapy can be a really good thing and if you find the right person, you can get help on the journey to loving yourself and being at peace with your sexuality.
