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Post by ruthmadison on Jan 31, 2011 9:00:15 GMT -5
I am loath to jump into the middle of this, and yet I'm so good at getting involved in things where I shouldn't...
I think there might be another explanation for why some people post only a couple times and disappear. It is an extremely scary thing to face being a devotee. I think many of us swing between extremes of being comfortable with who we are and then feeling overwhelmed by it and wanting to hide even from ourselves. Seeing it talked about plainly goes so far against the secrecy and fear that many of us are used to and it can be really frightening.
On the other hand, Internet forums always have the trouble of people misunderstanding or misreading each other. It's bound to happen. I'm really sorry that you felt attacked, Peaches, I really don't think that was anyone's intention.
None of the responses to your statement were personal, they were all responses to a cliche that we've all heard and thought about. Cliches are based in truth, but they don't take into account the complete human experience. People pointing out ways in which nice guys don't finish last or ways in which nice guys maybe aren't as nice as they think was just a way to balance out the statement with other examples of human behavior.
I just don't think anything is ever as simple as a single sentence can convey.
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Post by Pony on Jan 31, 2011 10:08:08 GMT -5
I don't even know what transpired, but let me step in the mud for a second. First, Ruth, your last sentence is sooo true. People are the most COMPLICATE animals. I hate it, and love it, at same time. I don't like when people's postings are thrown back in their face, like a 'we gotcha nowwwww.' I've seen it done, and had it done to me. That said, sometimes it's called for to debate something, but i really fucking hate nitpicking everyone, and really, Peaches has a point. It does drive people away...not just devs, but we've lost many contributors bcoz they're tired of walking on eggshells (nice pun, Tony). E also has a point, it's difficult to have sanity if you're an angry person and hyper-sensitive. It's only a message board, no reason for blood pressure to skyrocket...I used to love peaches postings when she was here, great story writer and funny, albeit, hot tempered. lol But her creative photos were really cool. I almost used one of her's on cover of my book. so, anyway, I'm just saying let's make this place easy to live in...coz really, we do live here sometimes.
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Post by Dee Dee on Jan 31, 2011 10:49:09 GMT -5
Eric, first of all, you have no idea what kind of a world I live in.
Secondly, I have no intention of growing thicker skin and thus become insensitive to other people´s feelings.
Thirdly, since you yourself have admitted it, I can safely say that I agree with Peaches about the arsehole part of you.
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Post by peaches on Feb 1, 2011 4:19:44 GMT -5
Eric, first of all, you have no idea what kind of a world I live in. Secondly, I have no intention of growing thicker skin and thus become insensitive to other people´s feelings. Thirdly, since you yourself have admitted it, I can safely say that I agree with Peaches about the arsehole part of you. LIKE.  I just don't think anything is ever as simple as a single sentence can convey. Um...didn't I just say that? The sensitivity y'all are claiming is half true, half BS. If someones going to pick apart my posts, isn't it fair I do the same? If someones rude to me, isn't it fair that I get to have a say? Its not about sensitivity, its about communication. Without it we'd all be fucked. Anyways, its over, rover. |
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 1, 2011 8:10:51 GMT -5
It doesn't have to be over, I think this is an interesting and passionate discussion. Keep the communication going!
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Post by E on Feb 1, 2011 13:45:15 GMT -5
I don't have the energy, or really care enough, to go through the bulk of the... let me be nice... inaccuracies in this, but let me cherry pick a couple glaring things that shouldn't be left alone. And then the busyness of my week will likely distract me from bothering with this any further. You have to admit there is a high number of members who have been pounced on for having a differing opinion or what not; then they quickly delete their membership and leave, or go back to lurk mode. I don't have to admit that because it's just not true. At all. The number of members who get "pounced on for having a differing opinion", who then quickly leave is RELATIVELY small. I'd even wager that we see more exits due to devs being pounced on by horny wheelers, not for differing opinions. But that's a whole 'nother story. The turnover rate is really, really good here. It is. [/quote] And this is the crux of what I was saying. But actually, times 1000. I thought you meant someone had actually responded to you directly. At least DD's complaint stemmed from people actually talking to/about her. None of these quotes were saying anything even remotely bad about you, or even referring to you all. Not one was directed at you. No one was invalidating your opinion. There was no negativity pointed in your direction whatsoever. The fact that you are citing these as the issue is truly blowing my mind. "Nice guys finish last" is a common cliche'. I responded that I didn't think guys being nice was the issue, guys whining is. Goodlife and Devogirl thought the cliche' was inaccurate. That is so far removed from "pissing all over you" that your assessment is mind boggling, to say the least. Like, it's hurting my brain mind boggling. Seriously. I don't even know what more to say, because that goes way beyond being overly sensitive. If you really think that those quotes are "being mean", when they're not even about you -- at all... not even a little bit then... Then... Then you're bordering on totally freaking insane. There, I said it. That IS a negative statement directed toward you. It is. But I don't know how else to fathom your issue. And since I've now determined this, any more discussion is pretty much fruitless ( fruitless... hehe). There's no debating with crazy. Good luck. With everything. |
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Post by peaches on Feb 2, 2011 1:15:47 GMT -5
Like, it's hurting my brain mind boggling. Seriously. Then you're bordering on totally freaking insane. There, I said it. That IS a negative statement directed toward you. It is. But I don't know how else to fathom your issue. Haha! E, I'm just fucking with you.  Cheers dude. I'll take that as you meant it. I got a full on year this year. Thanks for the laughs. I'm outty. |
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Post by Ray T on Feb 17, 2011 1:42:41 GMT -5
Can't we all just get along? All these words and they really said some symple things that could have been said in one post. LOL I love this place and all of you guys and gals... you all are my cyber family... so settle down and get along with one another... dont make me pull this PC over...
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Post by jordsbaby on Feb 17, 2011 2:20:08 GMT -5
But Raaaaay, Eric's poking me in the sideeeee.  |
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Post by E on Feb 17, 2011 9:03:56 GMT -5
But Raaaaay, Eric's poking me in the sideeeee. ... wait, that's your side? I hate when I miss. |
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Post by allison101 on Feb 17, 2011 23:21:49 GMT -5
Ruth- I think you summed everything up. (: I don't think anyone should leave due to "differing opinions". That's what the board is all about, right? (: I'd hate to see anyone not feel welcome here!  |
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Post by jordsbaby on Feb 18, 2011 7:55:24 GMT -5
But Raaaaay, Eric's poking me in the sideeeee. ... wait, that's your side? I hate when I miss. You'll get it in next time, kiddo. |
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Post by Ray T on Feb 18, 2011 15:31:35 GMT -5
LOL I love this place it can make me feel good when ever i am down
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