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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 23, 2011 15:49:55 GMT -5
Sorry if this has come up before, I couldn't find anything about it...
I just got my copy of Paradox and I was reading the Manifesto and it got me wondering about what age everyone started having physical sexual reactions.
In other words, I experienced the tingling in my groin and the desire to touch myself when I was a very small child, probably around five. My therapist tells me that this is an indicator of being molested, but I don't think I was. I have no memory of such a thing and I can't think of anyone who would have done it to me. The therapist says it's unusual for a child so young to have a sexualized experience (I had no idea at the time that's what it was, of course).
I just assumed it was part of my devness, but it seems like devness and other types of sexuality manifest at different points, usually around puberty and not so much before and after.
What do you all think?
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Post by Emma on Feb 23, 2011 16:55:12 GMT -5
I just read the Devotee Manifesto last night too. Annabelle, I was happy to learn that you figured out you were sexually attracted to disabled guys around the same age as me. I guess I always felt that compared to other devs, I was a little behind the game in that I was about 21 when I realized that disabled guys turned me on sexually. Sure I was always interested in disability, it just was not always sexual for me.
So does that answer your question Ruth? I was sexual before age 21. I'd guess it started right around puberty or maybe a little afterwards, I'd guess probably 13. I just hadn't realized I had a heightened response to disabled guys until later. Unlike you, I did not have a desire to touch myself until puberty but I know I experimented a little with it.
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 23, 2011 17:08:51 GMT -5
I just read the Devotee Manifesto last night too. Annabelle I was happy to learn that you figured out you were sexually attracted to disabled guys around the same age as me. I guess I always felt like compared to other devs I was a little behind the game in that I was about 21 when I realized that disabled guys turned me on sexually. Sure I was always interested in disability, it just was not always sexual for me until later. So does that answer your question Ruth? I was sexual before age 21. I'd guess it started right around puberty or maybe a little afterwards, I'd guess probably 13. I just hadn't realized I had a heightened response to disabled guys until later. Unlike you I did not have a desire to touch myself until puberty but I know I experimented a little with it. You hear so much about it and are curious. Yes, that is a very helpful answer. (Just to clarify, I didn't actually touch myself until I was 22, I just had the desire when I was young. Somehow I thought, though, that if I did, I would damage my future children... I was getting some odd messages as a kid) |
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Post by lavly on Feb 24, 2011 6:29:10 GMT -5
I experienced the tingling in my groin and the desire to touch myself when I was a very small child, probably around five. My therapist tells me that this is an indicator of being molested, ruth i think the old dude is just full of it! i played when i was a kid too and it wasnt cos i was molested ... i was just a freak ... the end  |
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 24, 2011 11:02:39 GMT -5
I experienced the tingling in my groin and the desire to touch myself when I was a very small child, probably around five. My therapist tells me that this is an indicator of being molested, ruth i think the old dude is just full of it! i played when i was a kid too and it wasnt cos i was molested ... i was just a freak ... the end Oh good, I'm glad I'm not the only one! I'm totally fine with being a freak |
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Post by faith on Feb 24, 2011 18:19:07 GMT -5
Ruth- I hope you fired that man on the spot. That is ridiculous. Obviously this man never had children and doesn't realize that it is normal. I am sure some children who are molested touch themselves... but just because a child touches themselves does not mean they were molested. Maybe he just wanted you to sign on for more sessions.
I have always known. As far back as I can remember I was interested in disabilities, even before I had hormonal draws toward boys. I knew I was attracted to disabilites at about 7-8 and was attracted to boys around 11-12. Only as an adult did it become so very clear that I could only be sexually fulfilled when the two were together.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Feb 24, 2011 19:48:48 GMT -5
Ruth- I have to agree, your therapist is full of BS!!! That's VERY VERY common in children around the age of 5-6, boys and girls alike. I used to work at a YMCA camp with that age group, and I can't count how many times I had to yell "Hands out of pants!" across the playground!  Molestation causes sexualized behavior, not sexual curiosity like what you're describing. Two very different things!!! My earliest dev experience was in preschool, though my draw towards the wheeler world didn't become sexualized until college. |
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Post by ruthmadison on Feb 24, 2011 21:15:45 GMT -5
Ruth- I hope you fired that man on the spot. That is ridiculous. Obviously this man never had children and doesn't realize that it is normal. I am sure some children who are molested touch themselves... but just because a child touches themselves does not mean they were molested. Maybe he just wanted you to sign on for more sessions. I have always known. As far back as I can remember I was interested in disabilities, even before I had hormonal draws toward boys. I knew I was attracted to disabilites at about 7-8 and was attracted to boys around 11-12. Only as an adult did it become so very clear that I could only be sexually fulfilled when the two were together. That wasn't the only thing, I have some other stuff that has caused a lot of different health professionals to ask me about it. It gets so tiring. lol. But I hadn't connected that part of it before. So maybe I was right to begin with and it doesn't belong with the rest of the stuff. |
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Post by lavly on Feb 25, 2011 3:34:06 GMT -5
My earliest dev experience was in preschool. i love this ... and i know right ruth , im so ok with being a freak ... lol i say whatever ... im cooler as a dev then not as a dev ... wait did that even make any sence? |
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Feb 25, 2011 10:28:36 GMT -5
Lol, I should probably clarify - earliest dev MEMORY! I wasn't all over some wheeler in preschool.  And yes lavly that made sense, and I agree! |
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Post by Devoblue on Feb 26, 2011 15:41:46 GMT -5
In other words, I experienced the tingling in my groin and the desire to touch myself when I was a very small child, probably around five. I have memories of that kind of desire at a young age as well...maybe 7 or so. I also didn't act on it until well into my teens and had no kind of sexual abuse in my childhood. I always had a more keen interest in playing games as a child that revolved around me taking care of someone that has an injury of some sort. Once I identified my dev side at late teens/early 20's I didn't immediately make the connection but now it seems glaringly obvious to me that it all started long before I had the capacity to understand and rationalise it. |
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anais
Junior Member
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Post by anais on Mar 7, 2011 15:37:03 GMT -5
Ruth, I wouldn't want to discredit your therapist, but childrens' sexuality is part of normal development. We are born as sexual creatures, and around the beginning of school the latent period begins, and our sexuality is hidden for a while, in order to let us some freedom and space to learn different social and other skills. Than it reappears again at puberty, but it REappears, which means, that it has been there always, just asleep. Even good old Freud would have told you. that the age of 5 - is the genital period, a period, when normal kids discover their sexual organs and the pleasures attached to them. As for me, I remember the excitment of dev feelings since the age of 5. It manifested itself as a stab in a spinal chord and in the stomach. Very strong physical reaction, but not located in the genitals. Started touching myslef at the age of 16, after being touched the night before by my boyfriend, who gave me my first orgazm. Before that I didn't know I could be pleased in such a way. It was a great, enormous discovery. The next discovery came later on, around 23 or so. Than I made the connection between devness and erotism. Another shock I am still amazed, I didn't came up with it years earlier. Like I was blind and deaf. It is so obvious, I don't know what on earth hid it from my sight. Since than, the dev excitement strangely "moved" to the genitals and settled there. And since than I rarely touch myself without dev phantasies. Which is in a way a shame, coz this connection narrows my options for authoerotic stimulation. I think this is a matter of a not very fortunate conditioning, making unbreakable connections between 2 originally different pleasures. Now the pleasure is stronger, but unique. Sometimes I wish I could unlearn this, since it became a sort of fixation, which it originally wasn't. I still prefere more the other phisical reaction, which is not in the genitals. It is still there, but since it is shared now with other body parts, it is less strong. I don't know, if any of it makes sense |
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Post by Emma on Mar 7, 2011 21:00:12 GMT -5
Anais you make sense to me. I am amazed that you too didn't connect your interest in disability with sexual pleasure until you were older. I think that makes 3 or maybe of us |
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Mar 7, 2011 22:22:02 GMT -5
Am I one of the three, Emma? Cause if not, you can add me in!  |
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Post by Emma on Mar 7, 2011 23:22:20 GMT -5
Yes I think you are one of the 3 |
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Molestation causes sexualized behavior, not sexual curiosity like what you're describing. Two very different things!!!
