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Post by ruthmadison on Apr 24, 2011 20:27:30 GMT -5
"Some find paralysis and wheelchair users very sexually attractive and actively seek them as partners. Most are caring empathetic people genuinely interested in people with disabilities. Occasionally however such relationships are sought assuming that a position of dominance and control will be given and can result in conflict or violence. Wheelchair sex fetish should not be thought of as perverse, like any sexual practice it only becomes unhealthy or inappropriate and often illegal when forced into or thrust upon minors and unsuspecting, unwilling parties. " www.streetsie.com/spinal-injury-wheelchair-sex/As I try to research some of the nuts and bolts details that I don't know about SCI and sex, I discover other interesting things. |
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Lindsay :)
Full Member
Smile, It's a Good Day
Posts: 221
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Post by Lindsay :) on Apr 24, 2011 20:46:17 GMT -5
I, too, am okay with this portrayal.
I know that not all devs agree with this, but in my extremely over-simplified analogy, being a "dev" is just like any other woman being attracted to a specific "type" of guy. Some women like men with blond hair/blue eyes, other may fall for the "tall, dark, and brooding," while others may like tattoos, piercings, guys with motorcycles, bald guys, tall, short, skinny, large, etc, etc, etc... The list of physical attributes that attracts any one woman to any one man are limitless.
I am physically attracted to men in wheelchairs. Am I *only* attracted to men in wheelchairs? No. I've had several relationships with AB men. Is a man being in a wheelchair enough of a reason for me to date one? No. I have met several wheelers who, while I may find them handsome and attractive, their personalities have turned me off.
Wheelers are simply my "type" of guy but the chair in itself is not enough to either make me have or prevent me from having a relationship with them.
(Side Note: The guy that I am in the beginning stages of seeing is *not* a wheeler. He does have mobility issues stemming from a neurological condition, but is able to walk with the aid of either a walker or crutches. Just one more example where the chair is not everything, and TT's *two* Ivy league degrees are faaaaaar sexier than his lack of wheels...)
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Lindsay :)
Full Member
Smile, It's a Good Day
Posts: 221
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Post by Lindsay :) on Apr 24, 2011 20:54:45 GMT -5
I, too, am okay with this portrayal. I know that not all devs agree with this, but in my extremely over-simplified analogy, being a "dev" is just like any other woman being attracted to a specific "type" of guy. Some women like men with blond hair/blue eyes, other may fall for the "tall, dark, and brooding," while others may like tattoos, piercings, guys with motorcycles, bald guys, tall, short, skinny, large, etc, etc, etc... The list of physical attributes that attracts any one woman to any one man are limitless. I am physically attracted to men in wheelchairs. Am I *only* attracted to men in wheelchairs? No. I've had several relationships with AB men. Is a man being in a wheelchair enough of a reason for me to date one? No. I have met several wheelers who, while I may find them handsome and attractive, their personalities have turned me off. Wheelers are simply my "type" of guy but the chair in itself is not enough to either make me have or prevent me from having a relationship with them. (Side Note: The guy that I am in the beginning stages of seeing is *not* a wheeler. He does have mobility issues stemming from a neurological condition, but is able to walk with the aid of either a walker or crutches. Just one more example where the chair is not everything, and TT's *two* Ivy league degrees are faaaaaar sexier than his lack of wheels...) After re-reading my original post, I wanted to give a more in depth explanation - I said that was an extremely over-simplified analogy because I do know that it's more than the physical aspect. I did date a pretender (only once!!) and knowing that he was only faking his condition was enough to prevent the spark from being there. There is a lot more than just the looks that affects our reactions and our "dev-ness" and I completely understand this. I have found, from my personal experiences, that people and society tend to be a lot more understanding of my being a dev if I try to explain it in ways that society tends to understand - such as physical attraction and the many aspects that control/determine physical attraction. (And by understanding, I don't always mean accepting. I just mean they can actually understand what I mean when I say "I find wheelers sexy" if I make it sound more like I'm saying "I find guys with black hair/blue eyes/tattoos sexy.") |
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Post by ruthmadison on Apr 24, 2011 21:18:06 GMT -5
I know what you mean, I also find that quick/easy explanation works well for making us seem acceptable, even normal to most people. It's very useful to have, even if it is over simplifying a bit. And hey, crutches and walkers can be damn sexy too  As my Internet search continues... How cute is this? (so not my type, but it's still totally adorable)  |
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Post by Emma on Apr 24, 2011 21:26:08 GMT -5
I like it too. That's both an interesting and weird website. I liked the article about wheelchair sex. Did you see the Aussie babes picture section?
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sunnydays
Junior Member
Life is just 1 big acid trip!
Posts: 68
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Post by sunnydays on Apr 24, 2011 21:31:14 GMT -5
As my Internet search continues... How cute is this? (so not my type, but it's still totally adorable) Now that totally is my type (minus the munchkin...) Ruth, he didn't happen to post a phone number with the pic, did he?? Lol! |
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Post by Emma on Apr 24, 2011 21:37:03 GMT -5
I have found, from my personal experiences, that people and society tend to be a lot more understanding of my being a dev if I try to explain it in ways that society tends to understand - such as physical attraction and the many aspects that control/determine physical attraction. I so like this. I also agree. I always explained my attraction to guys I hoped to date in a way that talked about me specifically and not devs in general. |
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Post by faith on Apr 24, 2011 22:09:01 GMT -5
I know what you mean, I also find that quick/easy explanation works well for making us seem acceptable, even normal to most people. It's very useful to have, even if it is over simplifying a bit. And hey, crutches and walkers can be damn sexy too As my Internet search continues... How cute is this? (so not my type, but it's still totally adorable) Something about him is very, very hot. mmm.... |
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Post by ruthmadison on Apr 25, 2011 8:51:34 GMT -5
So true! I hate the label mostly because it means something different to everyone. And too many people think it means I'm a slut!
(sorry, no contact info for that guy, it's just a photo on the side of an article about disability and parenting)
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Post by Devoblue on Apr 25, 2011 13:54:23 GMT -5
None of us are the same, being a dev is a highly personal experience based on unique circumstances. What it means for me can't possibly begin to illuminate what it means for someone else, not really. Sure there are similarities, but just in chatting with you guys, I'm pretty sure we could all make lists, and while there would be a lot there that would line up, there would be far more that would not... :-) I totally agree. And I think this is the impression alot of guys have too...that they learn a couple of things about devs and it can be applied to everyone. I think I quite like the fact that there is enough common ground to feel a kinship but enough individuality so that I can feel like I own it for myself. |
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Post by graham on Apr 29, 2011 0:08:48 GMT -5
Hi, I am the owner operator of www.streetsie.com. No phone number I'm sad to report ladies, my buddy is happily married. He's a really nice guy and very protective of his loved ones, as portrayed in this shot. I have no problem with some use of our images and text excerpts as long as links are provided to our original countent as Ruth has done here. How is your novel progressing Ruth? Did Tasha provide inspiration? |
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Post by ruthmadison on Apr 29, 2011 6:46:46 GMT -5
Hi! I love your website. I'm glad you say I copied the picture correctly, I don't know my way around computers very well and I don't want to misuse anything!
My new novel is progressing really well. I finished a detailed outline last week, so now it's just the nitty-gritty writing. I'm so anxious to have it done, but I have to go slow and let it develop in its own time.
I'm also distracted by about seven other story ideas!
I'm really happy to have you here on our board, but I wanted to mention for future reference that this "devs only" section is a space for just the devotees to be able to commune with each other in a safe space. I think it makes total sense for you to post here, since I was referencing your website and your picture, but if you stick around the board (which I really hope that you will!), I want to warn you to not post in "devs only" because you'll probably get yelled at and the posts deleted!
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Post by devogirl on Apr 29, 2011 10:20:26 GMT -5
Yes, I am willing to let this post stay up as an exception for the reasons Ruth gave. But in the future please do not post in this section. I encourage you all to take this discussion to the general section.
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