Post by merry on Apr 29, 2011 15:33:30 GMT -5
...actually what I MEAN is "Devoteeism as a handicap".
How many of you have found that being a dev has actually hindered your life in some way?
For me, knowing I was attracted to disabled men very strongly had a massively negative impact on several important life choices. From the age of about 10 or 11 (maybe even younger), I knew I wanted to work either as a high-school teacher of blind kids, or in the field of rehabilitation. Knew it. Without a doubt. But I ended up following a career path so far away from that because of my dev-ness. Deep down I think I had concerns that the strength of those feelings might one day drive me to cross the professional line and become inappropriately involved wih a student/client, without me being able to be rational about it. In addition I worried that if I was ever "discovered" that would mean the end of my career for me. (Every time I heard a "horror" story about a paedophile being discovered working in a school or something similar I would relate that to my situation. Of course I know that's unjustified (here we factor in consent!), but it still reinforced my idea that ethically I just SHOULD not pursue my dreams). So out of fear of those things I chose a career that really wasn't right for me.
Now as I near my forties and the infamous mid-life re-evaluations take place, I feel so much sadness for the 18-year-old me, and I wonder how different my life might have been without the dev aspect to it. What makes me sad too is that I know I'd be BLOODY good at either of those jobs - I have the personality, passion, instincts and abilities to make a real difference. I feel I was robbed!
Anyone else felt like this?
P.S. I still have those dreams and as my kids get older I'm starting to think about pursuing them again...I'm old and married now - so I'm safer, lol. Maybe there'll still be a happy ending to this story
How many of you have found that being a dev has actually hindered your life in some way?
For me, knowing I was attracted to disabled men very strongly had a massively negative impact on several important life choices. From the age of about 10 or 11 (maybe even younger), I knew I wanted to work either as a high-school teacher of blind kids, or in the field of rehabilitation. Knew it. Without a doubt. But I ended up following a career path so far away from that because of my dev-ness. Deep down I think I had concerns that the strength of those feelings might one day drive me to cross the professional line and become inappropriately involved wih a student/client, without me being able to be rational about it. In addition I worried that if I was ever "discovered" that would mean the end of my career for me. (Every time I heard a "horror" story about a paedophile being discovered working in a school or something similar I would relate that to my situation. Of course I know that's unjustified (here we factor in consent!), but it still reinforced my idea that ethically I just SHOULD not pursue my dreams). So out of fear of those things I chose a career that really wasn't right for me.
Now as I near my forties and the infamous mid-life re-evaluations take place, I feel so much sadness for the 18-year-old me, and I wonder how different my life might have been without the dev aspect to it. What makes me sad too is that I know I'd be BLOODY good at either of those jobs - I have the personality, passion, instincts and abilities to make a real difference. I feel I was robbed!
Anyone else felt like this?
P.S. I still have those dreams and as my kids get older I'm starting to think about pursuing them again...I'm old and married now - so I'm safer, lol. Maybe there'll still be a happy ending to this story
