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Post by Pony on May 8, 2011 10:42:40 GMT -5
That is interesting about hurting the guy's feelings. That can go for ANY guy, but maybe more so for a disabled dude that hasn't had much relationship experience. I have met guys that were like that...and they are tender, and I would think a girl might shy away thinking they would get TOO attached. Luckily I've been around enough to have been through hurts, and done my share of hurting. It sucks both ways, but definitely more to have the girl fall out of love...it's a punch in the stomach, and I'm glad it's only happened to me a few times coz it REALLY sucks bad. I'm not proud about hurting girls before, and I've tried to stay friends with most. I think it says a lot if you can remain a caring friend without the sex involved anymore.
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Post by ruthmadison on May 8, 2011 11:02:02 GMT -5
damn, a 'serious' post from our dear old Assy boy??! that's a point in my favour But seriously, thanks Assy. I appreciate it, and I hope it works out for you too. @ Ruth: yes, I agree. dont take me otherwise, but also a dis guy from India especially may not have had a chance to come close to many women. So in a way its touchier grounds. I dont want to hurt their feelings since I take great care in getting into relationships, because once I am in a relationshiup, as stupid as that sounds, my life revolves around the man I love! so much for the feminist revolution I am the same way, once I'm in a relationship, I am all in!
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Post by Emma on May 8, 2011 12:32:10 GMT -5
I dont want to hurt their feelings since I take great care in getting into relationships, because once I am in a relationshiup, as stupid as that sounds, my life revolves around the man I love! so much for the feminist revolution I am the same way, once I'm in a relationship, I am all in! Me too! Maybe this is what Spirit and BA were talking about in the other thread (The Mentality of a Devotee).
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tuna
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Post by tuna on May 8, 2011 15:08:41 GMT -5
Diva, thanks for asking the question in the first place, it got some things out. Tony, you got it so right. If the guy is attached and I am just trying out my devo side, then I cant possible hurt his feelings, so I'll be honour bound to be with him and thats just not fair to anyone... so I stay away.
Emma, Lucretia and Ruthie: Its so right, Infact thank you Lucretia for making me feel like a 'normal' person. My friends just dont get why I wont date! What should I say? Its so expendeble. I just dont see the point of making random banal conversation, so my friends tell me "how are you going to meet someone new?" well, I connect with so few people, I for the most part feel much better about sitting at home than being in a bar hating everything...
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on May 8, 2011 16:11:28 GMT -5
Diva, thanks for asking the question in the first place, it got some things out. Tony, you got it so right. If the guy is attached and I am just trying out my devo side, then I cant possible hurt his feelings, so I'll be honour bound to be with him and thats just not fair to anyone... so I stay away. Emma, Lucretia and Ruthie: Its so right, Infact thank you Lucretia for making me feel like a 'normal' person. My friends just dont get why I wont date! What should I say? Its so expendeble. I just dont see the point of making random banal conversation, so my friends tell me "how are you going to meet someone new?" well, I connect with so few people, I for the most part feel much better about sitting at home than being in a bar hating everything... GOD BLESS PD
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Post by Pony on May 8, 2011 16:22:31 GMT -5
I hate that 'banal conversation,' too!! But I do really love good chemistry....that's the part I'm so addicted to. Some of that includes stirring sexual feelings, some of it making someone laugh, or being someone's escape - that's my drug!!
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Post by Emma on May 8, 2011 23:09:06 GMT -5
When you said "I just want to go out to dance" L this is all I could think of. Love Dane!
....and yeah again I'm going to say me too! Whenever I went out with friends it was not to meet guys because I can tell you that there were 2 times I ever saw a guy out that I was interested in, yes just 2.
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tuna
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Post by tuna on May 9, 2011 14:10:35 GMT -5
@ Pony: but that happens so rarely. There's so few out there to like, so on a probability scale, it would be like Emma's two times. rest of the time is ~grin~ ~grin~ "Oh yeah?"~grin~ ~grin~ (what the fuck am I doing here?) @ Lucretia: yes, as I was telling a friend of mine ( who claims he'll never find love because men are so pathetic, and then because he is sad, has some random sex everyday, and then cries because all the people he knows have random sex everyday and are not in a relationhsip that it is important to find oneslef rather than to go out to find the man in a bloody bar! i would so rather go out swimming, and if he's the one, he can jolly well meet me in the pool
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Post by Pony on May 9, 2011 15:12:24 GMT -5
....then random sex in the pool??? hehe
Yes, I know it's damn hard to find that RIGHT chemistry, and really dating doesn't really do it, unless you already have that chemistry going on. Then, it can be great! I have to admit that, in my opinion, it would be very frustrating to be a straight-female. haha Seriously, the majority of guys are clueless, and not even goodlooking. lol One thing great about online is you can really get a feel for WHO a person is, and that allows a way for someone to be attracted to another person SKIPPING the stupid dates of grin....grin...ohhhh yeahhhh, grin....grin...lol I've done my share of that conversation, too. lol
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Post by dolly on May 9, 2011 17:46:35 GMT -5
I'm not wired for casual, as much as I've WISHED for that!!! I'm not even kidding. I have fervently wished for the ability to just go easy and casual... My sister and so many of my friends can go from guy to guy, have sex and have all kinds of fun, and then just move on. They're not sluts, they just view it differently. I've tried to do casual. I just can't. It's not even about upbringing/religion/guilt, as much as I've blamed all of those things in the past... it's just easier to use them as excuses rather than to scare the guy off by saying, once I'm in, I'm ALL in. It's why I hate dating. I hate it. I completely understand the need to date, and meet people and get to know them, and then if it doesn't work out, well, then ok. Queue up the next guy... so not my style... And A$$Y, I'm completely in favor of talking to multiple people, seeing more than one person at a time, because it's just not realistic to expect that the first person you talking to and have fun with is going to be the ONE. But once I start to get to know someone, and start to really connect with them, I don't want to keep looking... and so I'm often left stranded down the garden path with my heart on my sleeve... LOL You'd think, with my history, I'd be wiser in this.... or at least have built up some kind of protective wall... but to be honest, it's why I DIDN'T date for so long. It was easier to avoid it all together than risk the hurt. *shrug* lucretia...are you living in my head?? lol i so relate to *all* of this. makes me feel slightly better to know i'm not alone. and also what you ladies were saying about going out to bars and stuff. so often i find it completely depressing because i know i'm not going to even see the kind of guy i like, much less have any interaction. half the places i get dragged to aren't even accessible. i only go out for the purpose of seeing the people i am going with, or for a specific event. but it still makes me a bit cranky sometimes.... fully knowing ahead of time that i'm not going to see anyone of interest.
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Post by Emma on May 9, 2011 19:15:10 GMT -5
Well that's it. Forget going to mostly inaccessible bars, online dating is the only way to go for us
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