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Post by Lee on Feb 2, 2005 20:07:49 GMT -5
(I'm trying to pose some thought questions here to get some discussions going.)
I was wondering how many people here have had real life friendships or relationships with people who have had disabilities? And if so, did they know The Truth about you?
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Post by Oved on Feb 5, 2005 3:30:20 GMT -5
I have had many friendships with disabled men, none og which bloomed into romance. At that time, though, I did not even know about myself; I have no idea if they figured me out before I figured myself out.
I discovered my attraction to wc men about 2 years ago is semi-devotee-based even though it's not a real sexual attraction. Paras especially, I enjoy hanging around them......with the highlight being to witness their transfers in and out of the chairs.
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Post by kdar on Feb 5, 2005 8:35:51 GMT -5
One of my best friends has Spinal Muscular Atrophy and his mobility is very limited. (He has some movement in his arms but that it about all.) We have been involved intimately on and off for the past few years. It's been an amazing friendship and relationship, though it hasn't worked out for us to become full time partners for one reason or another. The most rewarding thing for me is the amount of love and trust he has shown me by letting me so close to him. I love taking him to places physically and emotionally that he didn't know were possible... asking him to push his body just a little bit further and then collapsing and resting with him in my arms.
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Post by Rob on Feb 6, 2005 16:30:52 GMT -5
I've never had a sexual experience with a disabled guy, but my job does bring me into close contact with lots of people, so from time to time I am able to chat with, and occasionally have discrete physical contact with paras, amps and other disabled guys.
Rob.
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Al
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by Al on Feb 7, 2005 13:13:11 GMT -5
Hi, I've had a couple of really close friendships with guys who have used a chair in real life. I'm not into treating anyone who has a disability any differently than anyone else. I expect them to pull their weight in a friendship. Why should it be any other way?
I must say I get cross with devotees and pretenders who don't seem to understand that using a chair all day every day isn't quite so simple as it looks as a cute guy wheels by. But then a cool guy is a cool guy period!
Cheers, Al
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Post by paul wheelie37 on Mar 8, 2005 2:37:58 GMT -5
I have had a few relationships over the years, and lots of sexy fun! Indoors and out Being in the wheelchair does not stop me having the same sexy fun as a non disabled person.It may make things a little bit harder in terms of access and planning. It certainly makes life "interesting" I was caught making love in the woods once! Couldnt get my wheelchair far from the woodland track, and we got caught by a man walking his dog! All he did was smile and jokingly say "mind you dont get a prick in it"! hinting at prickerly bushes nearby (or he could have meant something else! ) We got dressed when he had gone. (cheeky man only cam back past us for the chance of another look )My present girlfriend is just as much fun and we do have a very healthy sex life.
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Post by Sean on Apr 22, 2005 5:42:11 GMT -5
I've had many friends with disabilities from the disability/devotee community. Amputees, a few paras. That's actually how I met my late wife, who was a para. I've also told a few friends with disabilities that were not from the dev/dis community. I'm very careful about whom I tell. That said, I worked in the disability rights and services, as a para, for years. I've been at actions and protests, even been arrested for civil disobedience. That tends to build strong linkages between people. But these friendships were made as a para. Interacting with people with disabilities as an AB is an entirely different thing. Actually, I find more and more that interacting with the world at large as a an AB is difficult, whereas doing so as a para is more comfortable, to me. But I know, I'm odd
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Post by princess on Apr 27, 2005 21:02:59 GMT -5
I had an acquaintance when I was in college who was really cute and a para; I'm not so much into girls wirh wc's, but it was cool to hug her, watch her transfer, etc. I had a very good friend who had MS and was a quad. We knew each other for years, never in any kind of intimate way. It was always nice to run into him in public and watch out of the corner of my eye as people stared 'cause I'd jump in his lap and give him a kiss. We had a writing class together as sophomores and the rest of the class totally despised me so I refused to go without him there; to the point that when he was in the hospital for several weeks I only went on campus to drop off my work. I thought that was cool-- I had to get his notebook out for him and push his glasses up on his nose and all, but I was emotionally just as dependent on him. I miss him...
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Post by wheelie37 on Sept 1, 2005 11:08:31 GMT -5
Sorry for your loss I have lost many friends in wheelchairs. It makes us appreciate life and make the most of everyday!
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Post by LadyLuvsParas on Sept 3, 2005 17:31:59 GMT -5
Yes I have been with two guys who had disabilities. I did not tell either of them the "truth" about me. That was a mistake for several reasons and I don't want to post a book so I won't list them here. I have vowed to always tell the truth in all future relationships w/pwds... if I ever get the opportunity that is!
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Post by wheelie37 on Sept 6, 2005 4:30:28 GMT -5
I am sure you will as many people, including wheelchair users, get stranded in the middle o'Nowhere
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Post by LadyLuvsParas on Sept 6, 2005 21:39:49 GMT -5
I am sure you will as many people, including wheelchair users, get stranded in the middle o'Nowhere Hmm.... so that means you think I shouldn't disclose my attraction?
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Post by wheelie37 on Sept 8, 2005 5:33:00 GMT -5
no, i was joking as your location is registered as middle o nowhere Personally i think it is a good idea to tell them. I know it would make me feel even sexier if a girl told me she found my disability a turn on!
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Post by LadyLuvsParas on Sept 8, 2005 21:44:51 GMT -5
no, i was joking as your location is registered as middle o nowhere Personally i think it is a good idea to tell them. I know it would make me feel even sexier if a girl told me she found my disability a turn on! LOL yeah I got that you had noted my remote location I was just wondering if you also thought sharing dev feelings was a bad idea. I'm glad to see you don't. Thanks for the feedback.
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Post by wheelie37 on Sept 9, 2005 13:20:24 GMT -5
your very welcome
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