Post by sweatpea on Jan 22, 2013 15:25:17 GMT -5
Hi everyone! I've been reading and enjoying Paradevo's stories for a long time, and I occasionally peruse these forums, although obviously this is my first time posting.
Unfortunately, I think things already are off on the wrong foot. My boyfriend posted some boneheaded stuff here last night ("DevDater") in the "General" forum and was promptly banned. And I feel bad about this, since I was the one who told him it was probably OK. I do wish I had looked over his post beforehand. I definitely wish he hadn't posted the video link, and he made a joke or two that was in pretty bad taste. I apologize on his behalf for that. Like a lot of guys, he can act incredibly dense sometimes, but I assure you that he really is a sweet person who didn't mean to cause trouble.
Having said that, I did not realize that this board has a rule that non-devotee, non-disabled men are strictly forbidden (which is what the moderator said when he was banned). In my opinion, the rules posted are ambiguous at best, mainly warning straight male devotees and disabled women that this is not the place for them. That makes sense, as this board is focused on female devotees and the people that they love. Well, I am a female devotee who happens to love an able-bodied guy. In fact, I will be brutally honest-- I find the fantasy of a disabled lover extremely hot, but I have no interest in the realities of such a relationship. Are women like me welcome in this forum?
Now, I *know* I'm not the only woman who struggles with guilt over my unusual attractions; there's even a recent post about that in this subforum. So as you might imagine, telling my able-bodied boyfriend about this side of me was a pretty big deal for me. And all things considered, he has been pretty great about it, and far far more supportive than the one other boy I've told it to in the past. And as I have never had a chance before to explore this kind of attraction with a guy in real life, we both thought it would be worthwhile to ask around for inspiration. He was eager to be more involved with this side of me, so I let him make the post. In retrospect, that was a bad idea. But his heart was in the right place. Believe me, I felt embarrassed reading his clumsy post, especially imagining the reactions of some of the disabled men reading it. But I also kind of felt embarrassed at the harsh response he received. By all means, a strong reprimand was in order for the tone of his post. But as a small, often misunderstood community, shouldn't Devotees try to be supportive of an able-bodied guy coming here, expressing approval and acceptance of our "fetish", and asking some questions in good faith? Anyway, rest assured that "DevDater" isn't coming back either way, but I think this topic still warrants some discussion...
Unfortunately, I think things already are off on the wrong foot. My boyfriend posted some boneheaded stuff here last night ("DevDater") in the "General" forum and was promptly banned. And I feel bad about this, since I was the one who told him it was probably OK. I do wish I had looked over his post beforehand. I definitely wish he hadn't posted the video link, and he made a joke or two that was in pretty bad taste. I apologize on his behalf for that. Like a lot of guys, he can act incredibly dense sometimes, but I assure you that he really is a sweet person who didn't mean to cause trouble.
Having said that, I did not realize that this board has a rule that non-devotee, non-disabled men are strictly forbidden (which is what the moderator said when he was banned). In my opinion, the rules posted are ambiguous at best, mainly warning straight male devotees and disabled women that this is not the place for them. That makes sense, as this board is focused on female devotees and the people that they love. Well, I am a female devotee who happens to love an able-bodied guy. In fact, I will be brutally honest-- I find the fantasy of a disabled lover extremely hot, but I have no interest in the realities of such a relationship. Are women like me welcome in this forum?
Now, I *know* I'm not the only woman who struggles with guilt over my unusual attractions; there's even a recent post about that in this subforum. So as you might imagine, telling my able-bodied boyfriend about this side of me was a pretty big deal for me. And all things considered, he has been pretty great about it, and far far more supportive than the one other boy I've told it to in the past. And as I have never had a chance before to explore this kind of attraction with a guy in real life, we both thought it would be worthwhile to ask around for inspiration. He was eager to be more involved with this side of me, so I let him make the post. In retrospect, that was a bad idea. But his heart was in the right place. Believe me, I felt embarrassed reading his clumsy post, especially imagining the reactions of some of the disabled men reading it. But I also kind of felt embarrassed at the harsh response he received. By all means, a strong reprimand was in order for the tone of his post. But as a small, often misunderstood community, shouldn't Devotees try to be supportive of an able-bodied guy coming here, expressing approval and acceptance of our "fetish", and asking some questions in good faith? Anyway, rest assured that "DevDater" isn't coming back either way, but I think this topic still warrants some discussion...