Need help with article

[papillion44]

I need some quotes for an article I am writing and I am getting kind of desperate as I do not have enough material. The article is called Turn the Other Cheek. it’s about what people with a disability do when others are rude or abusive towards them. Should we ignore them as many say and keep our dignity? Or “accidently” smack them with a cane or use some other strategy.

I am often told to turn the other cheek and I believe it’s a good tactic in certain circumstances. But when you experience serial episodes of abuse or bullying it’s bound to fail unless you have an abnormally thick skin. I believe people of the turn the other cheek creed fail to realize that continual degrading treatment goes inside us and diminishes us. It weakens us and we become less able to give love to our family and friends.

Turn the other cheek we may but in the end our reluctance to respond may cause us to give our cat or dog a kick up the bum for no good reason. We may take our built up frustrations out on an innocent creature that has no form of redress and become like our tormentors persecuting those who cannot hurt us to relieve our distress.

I realize that many people with a disability don’t endure significant abuse or offensive behaviour but there are those that do. If you would like to leave a comment or PM me about any experiences good or bad I would be happy to consider your thoughts for the article. I am particularly interested in how people deal with those who are rude and how it affects them.

I need to attribute a name to any quotes I use. You may use a Pseudonym if you wish to respond. I will ask the author of any posts left here for permission to use their material. If the article makes it to publication it will be on the divine website. www.divine.vic.gov.au/main-site/home

Thank you if you are able to help Peter.

[papillion44]

Yes i would still be interested in any input you could provide.

[skywheeler]

I’ve been thinking about your question… I’m probably in the camp of those who haven’t experienced much of what I would consider rude or abusive behavior, but one incident that was more patronizing (and rude, although not intended to be) sticks out in my mind:

I was going into a restaurant by myself, and having trouble opening the door. An employee (probably a managerial type) came and opened the door for me. I said thank you. His response (rather loud and self important sounding) was, “Oh, I don’t mind at all, not as long as you’re a paying customer. I’ll always help out a paying customer!”

I’m a pretty passive person, and I didn’t say anything. But, for years I have fantasized about telling him off. Of asking him, “What if I weren’t a paying customer? What if I were just some guy on the street – would you just sit by and not lend a hand then? Is your sense of human decency always so closely attached to your profit? Am I just a consumer, and if I stopped consuming would my value be less in your eyes?”

I imagine most of this would have gone right over his head, and it would have been a pretty awkward meal, and who knows how I would have gotten out of the door. But, that’s pretty much my usual reaction – I get angry and philosophize, maybe scowl a little, but rarely confront. And I wouldn’t characterize it as some principled model of “turning the other cheek” it’s mostly just a lack of self confidence and a fear of confrontation.

[papillion44]

Thanks for your response. I know that many people with a disability don't have to put up with a lot of crap while others do. I think two factors that make it more likely people with a disability get harassed are having disability that people don't understand and living in a community where there is no support from others or another way to put it is the the place is full of jerks.

When we respond or give some cheek back we always risk an escalation so its not always wise given that some of us are infirm. Also if you get into an argument people always look for your week spot so i would never tell anyone what they should do i know i have backed away from conflict many times as well

[spurs2000]

Do you still require quotes for this? I probably have a couple stored online somewhere. Only worth me writing if you still require them!

[wheelz1979]

i usually just smile at them, tell them hello.....but if they're really rude i act like i catch a spasm in my arm and hit them, purposely get close to them with leg pointed at them and make a spasm happen an if all else fails run their toe over and say oops didn't see you there....but all in all most people are pretty helpful and aren't to rude

[papillion44]

Thank you Spurs and Wheelz for posting in the thread. The article has already been submitted. Wheelz my editor asked me to come up with some strategies I use when people are rude. The only ones I could think were similar to your method of faking a spasm and hitting someone or some smart arse comments that aren't fit for publication. I think its so good when you can give someone a taste of their own medicine.