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Post by Emma on May 1, 2020 3:07:13 GMT -5
I just LOVE LOVE LOVED this story. Thank you for sharing your stories with us in your entertaining and real writing style. I knew that you married an AB guy and kept thinking it would be someone mentioned in the book but I honestly thought it would be someone you had known longer who had been featured more. I enjoyed the surprise ending. I am sad this is the end though, what am I going to read now?
Also I was able to leave a comment this time but its the same as I wrote above.
Thank you for such a great story.
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Post by devogirl on May 1, 2020 4:37:12 GMT -5
Holy s**t! It feels like the end of Harry Potter or something, like what am I supposed to do with myself now. Looking at your adventures just makes me think of how much I have yet to go. All the experiences that await me and that in the end it will all work out. Or, at least, I hope hard that it will. Thank you so so much for writing this. It feels like the first time I've been able to see my own feelings on the page, even with all the differences I feel like a little girl discovering that she's not alone. I wish there was a hard copy of Devo Diary I could stick on my bookshelf so that one day my ancestors could discover it in a dusty old box and realize how far everyone has come in their understanding of devness. Thank you cilantro! It will work out for you too. Everyone kept telling me that too and I never believed it but it was true. I'm so glad to hear you recognize yourself in the story, that's why I wrote it. It's so important to have that.
Actually I am considering editing and compiling it as a book, although I do worry a bit about publishing something so personal. If I put it on other platforms I'll post about that here too.
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Post by devogirl on May 1, 2020 4:41:19 GMT -5
I just LOVE LOVE LOVED this story. Thank you for sharing your stories with us in your entertaining and real writing style. I knew that you married an AB guy and kept thinking it would be someone mentioned in the book but I honestly thought it would be someone you had known longer who had been featured more. I enjoyed the surprise ending. I am sad this is the end though, what am I going to read now? Also I was able to leave a comment this time but its the same as I wrote above. Thank you for such a great story. Thank you Emma!! I'm really curious though, who did you think it would be?
And yes, it's the end. I wanted it to be a surprise because it was a surprise to me too, haha. But in case you're just reading this now, yes, this is the final chapter of Devo Diary. I feel the same way about the upcoming end of Flawless. What am I going to read now?
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Post by Emma on May 2, 2020 1:08:53 GMT -5
I'm no good with names and can't remember all the characters since I didn't know them personally but there were lots of female friends in the story who had boyfriends and I guess I was thinking you ended up with one of them, Kara and Nam, Rachel and Ewan, etc.
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Post by lisa on May 2, 2020 5:23:52 GMT -5
Oh no, it's over?!?! I have to admit that I've always thought that soon there would be another PWD who you'd date for a longer time ;-). But thank you so, so much for sharing your story! It's been quite stunning for me that you met so many disabled guys in your life... It's been great to read all about it and to see how every relationship added to understanding more about the whole devness and how relationships should or shouldn't work.
Anyway, if you don't mind the question: I've been thinking a bit about who of the guys would have been most suitable for you if it would have worked out. I kind of thought about the Mantis, because he kept returning ;-). And are any of them still in your life today as friends? (In my AB relationship I have the feeling that I need at least PWD friends to satisfy the dev longing, so I'm curious about whether it's the same for others.)
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Post by devogirl on May 2, 2020 6:16:23 GMT -5
I'm no good with names and can't remember all the characters since I didn't know them personally but there were lots of female friends in the story who had boyfriends and I guess I was thinking you ended up with one of them, Kara and Nam, Rachel and Ewan, etc. Hey, you did remember them, wow! I probably mentioned that when I first met my husband, he was married to someone else then got divorced shortly before we started dating, so maybe that's why you were thinking that. Nam and I never had romantic feelings for each other. Sadly, Ewan died in 2013 of cirrhosis of the liver. I saw Rachel at the funeral and we talked about the time I considered having a kid with him and both agreed it would have been a terrible idea. I thought about including that in that chapter but it felt weird to flash forward so far. |
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Post by devogirl on May 2, 2020 6:27:01 GMT -5
Oh no, it's over?!?! I have to admit that I've always thought that soon there would be another PWD who you'd date for a longer time ;-). But thank you so, so much for sharing your story! It's been quite stunning for me that you met so many disabled guys in your life... It's been great to read all about it and to see how every relationship added to understanding more about the whole devness and how relationships should or shouldn't work. Anyway, if you don't mind the question: I've been thinking a bit about who of the guys would have been most suitable for you if it would have worked out. I kind of thought about the Mantis, because he kept returning ;-). And are any of them still in your life today as friends? (In my AB relationship I have the feeling that I need at least PWD friends to satisfy the dev longing, so I'm curious about whether it's the same for others.) Haha, sorry there wasn't any more super devvy experiences to relate. Honestly, it was really hard to write any devvy scenes with a lot of these guys or recapture why I liked them in the first place, knowing how badly most of those relationships ended. And yes, I met a lot of PWDs. I really believe that if you're young, single and live in a major city, it's not that hard to meet guys.
I don't mind the question! Definitely not the Mantis. He was a good casual friend but we would not have worked in a relationship. He broke up with Titania after a few years too. The guy just isn't cut out for LTR and monogamy. My answer of course is K. We had so much in common, and so many mutual friends. I still believe if he had been single when we met, we would have gotten married.
I've lost touch with almost everyone, sadly, even my closest girl friends. The only ones I still talk to are Lulu and Kara. After I got married, I had a very hard time getting pregnant, then once I did have kids, my life was utterly consumed with taking care of them. That's basically all I've been doing since the story ended. Also I moved away. So no, I haven't been in touch with any of the PWDs, and I'm not on Facebook either so I really don't know at all what they're up to.
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Post by lisa on May 3, 2020 5:07:02 GMT -5
K would have been my second guess. I just got the vibe that the relationship with him has left some negative feelings. But it's been some time since I read the chapters about K. And I certainly know that just because guys said or did inappropriate things or the relationship didn't turn out the way I would have liked it to, that doesn't mean that I stop swooning over them :-/.
And it wasn't a complaint that there weren't more devvy experiences. As I said, I'm surprised that there were so many in the first place. And it is so great that you shared your experiences with us, especially since it also contains much personal stuff. Reading about how you approached the guys and how the relationships turned out is also quite educating ;-).
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Post by devogirl on May 3, 2020 9:00:02 GMT -5
Haha true, K and I said some mean things to each other which is why we could not be friends. I mean, who even knows because that relationship happened so, so long ago when I was barely an adult. I definitely viewed him through a lens of fantasy and wish fulfillment, so maybe the idea that things could have worked out between us under any circumstances is also just a fantasy. But on the other hand, he was objectively the one PWD I had the most in common with, all the same nerdy pop culture stuff and all the same music, as well as a lot of other things. And he was so handsome, even strangers would comment on it. I also had a lot of silly romantic, superstitious ideas about relationships, the result of reading a ton of fantasy and not dating at all in high school. Years ago, I was talking to a female friend about him, and I said, "It's been so long and I know we are never getting back together so why can't I forget him?" And she was like, "Well duh, he was your first love." Really?? I thought that was a pretend, fairy tale kind of thing. But I guess there is something about that first time when you're young and impressionable that can imprint on you forever. Weird! Anyway thanks again for being such a loyal reader. I glad it was educational for you. I also dreaded turning 30 and still being single, but my 30s were way better than my 20s, and my 40s have been better than my 30s. It's nice to finally feel like a grown up and not an imposter. Embrace getting older  |
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Post by blueskye101 on May 3, 2020 23:26:44 GMT -5
devogirl, so enjoyed the journey you took us on through your dev life. I was already over 50 when I found this place and had been married to an AB for over 30 of that. Took me a long time to try to figure out my feelings and I’m so glad I got to live vicariously through your dating life. I’ve so looked forward to each chapter and am really going to miss it. So glad you found your mate. So well written and funny at times. The things you got up to. Whew 😅
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on May 4, 2020 0:19:26 GMT -5
At the end of the last chapter and with you “giving up on dating” I kind of had a feeling you must’ve met your husband soon after. And just a little into the chapter I was about to post here asking if you’d married him.  As much as I enjoyed the ending, it’s still too bad it’s over. I really enjoyed reading a new chapter every week! It was so nice and interesting to read your story, thank you for sharing your journey with us! |
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Post by devogirl on May 4, 2020 8:24:00 GMT -5
I know it's such a cliche to give up on dating following a bad breakup then immediately meet the right person afterwards, but that is really what happened. If I had been writing fiction, it would have been too obvious. It's crazy that he asked me out literally three days after Birk broke up with me. If he had asked earlier I probably would have been like "You seem nice but sorry I have to spend every weekend with this loser I don't even like that much." Yet another reason why my strategy of staying in every bad relationship until the bitter end was totally wrongheaded.
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As much as I enjoyed the ending, it’s still too bad it’s over. I really enjoyed reading a new chapter every week! It was so nice and interesting to read your story, thank you for sharing your journey with us!