Able-bodied partners and play/pretend in sex

[kivic]

I've recently divulged my dev-sexual side (within the last 6 months ) to my able-bodied SO of 14 years, who has been openly accepting and honest with his thoughts and feelings about it.  Such a weight has been lifted!  I would like to bring my fantasy into my "real world" of sex and am a bit hesitant to tell him what I want him to do in respect to role playing or pretending.  I feel it should be something that he feels comfortable with and I feel comfortable enough to ask it of him.

For the ladies who are also in committed relationships with able-bodied guys, what do you do to hit that dev button with your SO?  Do you use pretend or role play when intimate with your partner?

You can certainly PM me if you would like this to remain private

[Cake]

I'm in the same situation and am very interested, too, to learn about what experiences other devs have made in that regard

[Maurine]

Before I met my DA guy it might have been really exciting for me if my AB partner had pretended to be disabled. However, I'm sure it could have never come near what I experience with my guy. Anyway it might work for other devs and I'm interested in how they feel about pretending and if this is a real alternative to a relationship with a disabled man for them.

[kivic]

There are a number of devs who are members of this board that are in relationships or have had relationships with able-bodied guys.  We each use our dev-natures differently.  For me, I would like to be able to turn up the volume (so to speak) with my SO to include him in my dev-sex fantasies and allow myself the ability to truly enjoy this aspect of myself. 

Is it difficult to broach the topic with your SO?  Is he the type of guy who also likes to use fantasy or has a fetish himself?

[Enid]

I never went as far as actively involving an AB partner in pretending or role play. What I did do was subtly teach him not to change positions when that would throw me off. Obviously this can't be applied all the time, but things like "if I'm kissing you while you're sitting down, for the love of god, don't get up" are easy to convey even without words. I'll make the rest of the story up in my head if I need to... I don't think I'd want to take it further; the psychological/story part is pretty personal and I'd have to give too much information for the AB to be able to act properly.

[kivic]

Thank you, Enid. That's sort of what I've been doing as well. I have yet to make any major requests as I'm still a little unsure of how much I would like to share and what would work best for us

I appreciate your answer.

[greenbean]

The very few things I have tried include

- Blindfolding (I'm not really into blindness that much, but it can be pretty hot, and I feel like even normies sometimes blindfold each other, so he may not even think it's that weird!). Invest in a nice comfortable blindfold, the sex will last longer and the fucking scarf or pillow case or whatever won't keep falling off his face and ruining the moment.
- Getting him to sit in a chair. Tell him to do whatever you think a wheeler would do as per kissing/touching. Like Enid said, make up a dialogue in your head. Unless your guy's a porn star.
- Give him a massage...while pretending that his shoulder/back are sore from a long day of wheeling. My guys likes this one very much.

I think it would be a turn on if my guy pretended to need a wheelchair or crutches, but I'm picky. It can't be some stupid hospital style wheelchair with footplates. It's gotta be sleek and the real deal. So that's obviously not gonna happen. Ditto with crutches.

Hope life's sweet, glad your exploring all this with your man!

[kivic]

Yeah, greenbean!!!

I've done the sitting in the chair thing and really enjoyed that oh so much! I haven't considered the blindfold yet, but that sounds like it could potentially be seriously exhilarating.

I agree with the crutches and/or wheelchair, I think it works better in my mind than in reality with that...not sure if that would be the best way to get me going, plus the children factor and the questions that may arise from that.

He's a bit hesitant about being tied up but is slowly warming up to the idea. I would like to explore this more though.

I have found being on top is a great place to be

Sounds like you're in a good place, greenbean. Thanks for sharing.

[dev2cc]

Great topic and go you for broaching this topic with your SO.

[kivic]

Jan 23, 2014 11:31:45 GMT -5 dev2cc said:

Great topic and go you for broaching this topic with your SO.

Thanks, dev2cc.  Let me tell you, I was less scared parachuting from an airplane than telling my guy about this!!!  But all is good and he is willing to explore this side of me too.  Sometimes it's just hard for him to wrap his mind around it. 

[Dee Dee]

Ladies, when you mention a chair (having the guy sitting in a chair), you do mean a chair, not wheelchair, right?

(I ask because we so often abbreviate "wheelchair" to just "chair", but in this instance it is an armchair, desk-chair or something like that, is it not?)

BTW, I agree with GreenBean - if a real wheelchair is going to be incorporated, it has to be a sleek, stylish one, not one that would give me reminiscences of an old peoples´ home or hospital ward

[kivic]

Yes, it has been both kitchen chair and armchair

[Deleted]

For us getting a wheelchair is kind of not an option at this point, a little bit hard to explain to the kids and it would definitely have to be a nice one, not a generic hospital one...I see those all the time and they do nothing to me...husband and I have pondered in the thoughts of getting a wheelchair though...we will see...right now, crutches and braces have to make do....:-)

[kivic]

I think every little bit counts in terms of "tools" and "props." I like what I have with my SO, and he turns me on. I think that incorporating even just small amounts of play and imagination will satiate that desire.

I've found a Sex Shop locally and am going to check it out which excites me in itself.

Anyone have any favorite tools or props?

[Emma]

I'd recommend restraints, both arm and leg ones. They are pretty common and I think can push some dev buttons. Maybe a blindfold too.