Able-bodied partners and play/pretend in sex

[kivic]

Jan 24, 2014 23:52:46 GMT -5 Emma said:

I'd recommend restraints, both arm and leg ones. They are pretty common and I think can push some dev buttons. Maybe a blindfold too.

Funny you should say that, Emma, because those are the bondage thingies I was looking at getting. Like minds

[Dee Dee]

Definitely restraints and a blindfold (immobility and blindness - in one! )

[ivyjames]

I don't think I could ever ask an AB partner to pretend for me, and I don't believe that it would even "get me going". I want the real deal or nothing as all.

[kivic]

Jan 28, 2014 10:21:25 GMT -5 ivyjames said:

I don't think I could ever ask an AB partner to pretend for me, and I don't believe that it would even "get me going". I want the real deal or nothing as all.

I think that just small, subtle gestures of "non-movement" could be a good trigger with my AB-partner.  For me, this is about growth of both myself and my partner within the bonds of a committed relationship/marriage.  I do not believe that I would be able to find what I have with my SO with any other man (AB or DA); He is irreplaceable.  Thus my goal of incorporating my desires into our sexual life.  

[dev2cc]

I love how open your relationships are!

[ayla]

Resurrecting this ancient thread because I’m very curious to hear from devs in AB relationships. What have been your experiences with merging your dev selves with your AB sex life? My AB partner has known, very vaguely, of my devness for a long time (12 years or so) but only recently have I reconsidered including him. For many years the idea of him pretending in any way just straight up horrified me. It was a non-starter. Ironically, he sees the whole idea of devness as pretty tame and keeps asking me to do things like share my fantasies/dev erotica/role play. I must be living the dream with such an open minded AB partner yet...I’m getting in my own way. I don’t feel ashamed at all about my devness any more (hooray!) but the idea of sharing it with an AB, even my partner, even by explicit invitation, still scares me.

I think part of it is that no matter how much he tries, he can’t give me the real thing. I’m very turned on by the skill that a real deal PWD has, less so by the things he can’t do. For example: I am less into my man keeping his lower body still, and more into the way he uses his hands and arms differently as a result of wheeling. Even little things like taking his shirt off differently or adjusting his center of gravity. This would be difficult (impossible?) for an AB to simulate. So even though he is urging me to let him in, I am afraid he will just end up with hurt feelings if I do. Thoughts??

[em]

Oh this is really interesting. I have also recently disclosed my interests to my partner and I thought about incorporating something but like others, I don't think it would do it for me, I think I'd just feel too awkward... Interested in ideas for small things though, for example the blindfold or restraints is definitely a good one!

[elbs]

I honestly think I might like an AB partner pretending *more* than a PWD partner, because a lot of my disability fetish is focused on transformation rather than just the state of being disabled. My fantasies tend to focus on someone being disabled by magic in a way that can be potentially reversed and changed up. An AB person pretending can do stuff like abruptly go from walking to having limp legs because I gave them a signal we agreed upon, and that's not something a PWD partner could do.

[dapperdev]

I've used blindfolds, restraints (both arms and legs), and some light role-play/pretending. The blindfold is usually an instant turn-on even for normies because there's an element of sensory deprivation and also a sort of automatic vulnerability that helps with the dev buttons. Without being too specific I've asked my SO to try to not to move or to be as limp as possible and let me manipulate their body and pleasure them - like i sort of turn it in to a game where they need to resist grinding or squirming and in my head i just imagine the rest.

[dapperdev]

May 16, 2021 15:54:31 GMT -5 elbs said:

I honestly think I might like an AB partner pretending *more* than a PWD partner, because a lot of my disability fetish is focused on transformation rather than just the state of being disabled. My fantasies tend to focus on someone being disabled by magic in a way that can be potentially reversed and changed up. An AB person pretending can do stuff like abruptly go from walking to having limp legs because I gave them a signal we agreed upon, and that's not something a PWD partner could do.

That sounds super interesting to me! I like the idea of signals or triggers and I think it could be a lot of fun with the right AB partner. They would need to be in to some form of sub/dom role-play for it to work properly though i'm assuming.

In fact I've recently been talking to a dev friend online, and we were discussing the idea of a dev dating a dev, in our case I'm a male and she's a female and both of us agree that it might be possible to explore and fulfil each others dev desires by pretending for each other, maybe even invest in a proper wheelchair and best of all there would be no need to try and explain the 'devness', they'd just get it and there'd be no awkwardness in discussing the finer details.


Thoughts?

[Dani]

A resurrected thread...here is my updated feedback. I may have been the one deleted member post with the wheelchair analogy. Not sure though.

My husband pretending never triggered the devness, it just wasn't the real deal.
I think this is due to the fact that for me the psychological impact/transformation the trauma of an acquired SCI has on the guy is part of my dev trigger. My devness goes deeper than just the objects that are part of a PWD's life as in a wheelchair, crutches, or braces. The assistive devices are part of it and I gladly indulge in those as well but there is more to it for me to be a real dev experience.

I can definitely see that "playing" with such objects or scenarios as fun for the restriction of mobility/ability purposes but personally, I then categorize it into more of a roleplay/fetish thing.

[ruthmadison]

My husband has offered. And I do have a wheelchair for...reasons lol. But it makes me far too self-conscious. I can't enjoy it knowing it's pretend and for my benefit. I still just close my eyes and think about my favorite disabled characters

I wish I could find a way to get past that self-consciousness and enjoy play.